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Clips from Scrubs - His Story III (S05E05)

"You see, Dr. Cox, what I'm gonna do is we're gonna pimp this out."
Scrubs
"We're gonna throw some 22s on it, put some spinners on the 22s..."
Scrubs
"Ooh! And a DVD player so the kids can watch Elmo."
Scrubs
"[Janitor] Sometimes, around here, it feels like humiliation is contagious."
Scrubs
"Mr. McNair, I didn't exactly fix your computer."
Scrubs
"Elliot, I am not gonna tell you who messed up with Mrs. Best."
Scrubs
"Oh, no problem. I just wanted to grab a cup of coffee."
Scrubs
"Oh, and introduce you to my mom."
Scrubs
"Uh, very nice to meet you, Mrs. Reid."
Scrubs
"She's only got about five more years to pop one out."
Scrubs
"- Have you ever seen chubby Elliot? - Uh, no."
Scrubs
"If you want to see it, break up and wait a couple of weeks."
Scrubs
"When she's depressed, she hits a bag of Doritos like there's diamonds."
Scrubs
"- Love you too, Mom. - [Phone rings]"
Scrubs
"Like her? If you don't tell me which intern messed up,"
Scrubs
"I'll beg her to move here."
Scrubs
"She's just a little weird, Elliot. I can handle weird."
Scrubs
"I'm sorry."
Scrubs
"- No, not you. - It was Lisa."
Scrubs
"I would have told you earlier, but someone told me not to."
Scrubs
"Who told you not to?"
Scrubs
"Baby, you're not really bothered by what Dr. Cox said, are you?"
Scrubs
"- You know you're my black prince. - That's not it."
Scrubs
"I know I'm black. I'm reminded all the time."
Scrubs
"and I told you what happened last week"
Scrubs
"when the new board member met the surgical staff."
Scrubs
"Nice to meet you."
Scrubs
"Nice to meet you."
Scrubs
"Hey, what's up, dawg?"
Scrubs
"It's not even about that."
Scrubs
"It's about the nursery. It's about that stupid minivan."
Scrubs
"and does embarrassing dances at cookouts."
Scrubs
"You do that now."
Scrubs
"Hey. Thanks to your little telling-me-the wrong-time prank,"
Scrubs
"I was 45 minutes late for my Oriental massage."
Scrubs
"Which meant that instead of Pang-Wa, I had to settle for Ching-Lau."
Scrubs
"You know, I've accepted the fact that you're useless around here."
Scrubs
"Maybe you could just try a little harder not to make things worse."
Scrubs
"Know what he doesn't get? I could have been a janitor anywhere."
Scrubs
"When I got out of college, I had offers. Morgan-Stanley, Dupont..."
Scrubs
"I'm not kidding myself. I don't have the most important job in the world,"
Scrubs
"Who cares."
Scrubs
"- Have you seen Carla? - [Cox] Nope."
Scrubs
"My turn. Have you seen how stupid you look when you do your angry quick-walk?"
Scrubs
"Carla covered for one of my interns and then lied to my face about it."
Scrubs
"Come on. Of course she did."
Scrubs
"If an intern got hammered and stripped of what little self-confidence they have"
Scrubs
"every time they messed up, there wouldn't be any left."
Scrubs
"Luckily, Carla happens to have been here long enough"
Scrubs
"to identify when someone needs to be protected."
Scrubs
"Because you definitely got where you are on your own."
Scrubs
"- You sure didn't give me any help. - I didn't say I did."
Scrubs
"[Carla] It's OK. It's not a big deal."
Scrubs
"- But Dr. Cox is gonna kill me. - Dr. Cox doesn't have to find out."
Scrubs
"- I promise. - OK."
Scrubs
"Well, baby, you don't have to."
Scrubs
"We'll still have fun, go to bars, go dancing..."
Scrubs
"- Really? - No."
Scrubs
"- Really? - No!"
Scrubs
"But I can tell you that this is normal."
Scrubs
"You'll get through it."
Scrubs
"[humming]"
Scrubs
"[Giggling]"
Scrubs
"I hope you don't mind me hanging out all day talking to you."
Scrubs
"I don't think you do mind. I got a seventh sense about that."
Scrubs
"I've been Ionely around here a couple times."
Scrubs
"Nobody's buying it. Your new computer is finally here."
Scrubs
"Sorry it took so long."
Scrubs
"- What time is it? - 6:00."
Scrubs
"[Yelling]"
Scrubs
"Cold."
Scrubs
"Did I ever thank you for all the help that you've given me over the years?"
Scrubs
"The importance of family."
Scrubs
"What up, dawg?"
Scrubs
"I just gotta drop Junior off with old lady at the ducky park, yeah."
Scrubs
"Yeah, then we're gonna hoop it up."
Scrubs
"I wasn't talking to you."
Scrubs
"Give her time. She's only been dead for three years."
Scrubs
"- Morning, weirdo. - Lonnie."
Scrubs
"Let's go see Mr. McNair."
Scrubs
"When he calls me Eva, he's actually saying, "J.D., I care about you.""
Scrubs
"Any second now, he's gonna walk through that door, lost in his thoughts."
Scrubs
"Hello?"
Scrubs
"Hey, Perry, great shirt!"
Scrubs
"I know what that's like, when people say the minimum."
Scrubs
"I call it the Hover Hoover."
Scrubs
"Dr. Reid, would you mind explaining to me"
Scrubs
"Let's hope your stylist put that money towards rehab."
Scrubs
"All of you, go work."
Scrubs
"Dr. Turk is not aware that Lonnie was all-conference at Villanova."
Scrubs
"[Beeping stops]"
Scrubs
"Hey, Janitor, good job."
Scrubs
"[Janitor] OK, Mr. Cool Guy, you had your moment of glory."
Scrubs
"Slow down, buddy. What's the hurry? Come here!"
Scrubs
"# Mostly fork #"
Scrubs
"is prettier than you."
Scrubs
"Ah..."
Scrubs
"who, over the next six months, will become fatter and angrier."
Scrubs
"And you know, they say it's the safest thing we can do for our baby."
Scrubs
"You and Elliot would have such cute babies."
Scrubs
"The light just hit you so perfectly, I had to have a taste."
Scrubs
"But in a cool way."
Scrubs
"- These kids need to stand on their... - Got that right, sister."
Scrubs
"Well, Mr. McNair,"
Scrubs
"How was your day?"
Scrubs
"Not Optimus."
Scrubs
"And quite frankly, I always thought they should change "Colored People""
Scrubs
"Laverne, what are you doing out here?"
Scrubs
"Elliot is a blonde, 108-pound ski pole from a cul-de-sac in Connecticut."
Scrubs
"[J.D.] What the...? Ah!"
Scrubs
"Holy moly!"
Scrubs
"Nice to meet you."
Scrubs
"I even considered taking a year off and cleaning my way across Europe."
Scrubs
"made me think of my mom and how much she probably misses me."
Scrubs
"[J.D.] Turk and Carla were converting my old bedroom into a nursery,"
Scrubs
"Great."
Scrubs
"[J.D.] It was the perfect idea. She got to meet my superiors."
Scrubs
"[J.D.] I even got some great footage of Dr. Cox."
Scrubs
"I want to tell you a little story about a hero."
Scrubs
"I didn't realize how much I picked up from working here."
Scrubs
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