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Clips from Modern Family - Truth Be Told (S01E01)

"She started scooting when I was in court."
Modern Family
"Well, just tell 'em you're not coming in. You do enough for 'em."
Modern Family
"Well, you know that. I know that. You know?"
Modern Family
"The only one who doesn't know that is my sucky boss."
Modern Family
"He's the suckiest suck of all time."
Modern Family
"may have heard everything I just said."
Modern Family
"Hi, honey. Hey."
Modern Family
"When are you getting together with your gal pal?"
Modern Family
"Actually, I was just checking on that. She's supposed to send me a message."
Modern Family
"Sure am. She's one of my 447 friends."
Modern Family
"Everybody wants a slice."
Modern Family
"How long have you two been in touch with each other?"
Modern Family
"Uh, she tracked me down about a year ago."
Modern Family
"Mmm. Mmm."
Modern Family
"What? What's- What's that sound?"
Modern Family
"Mmm. Nothing. [Computer Beeps]"
Modern Family
"Oh. Here she is right now. [Clears Throat]"
Modern Family
""How about we meet at Le Reve at 7:30?""
Modern Family
"That sounds innocent enough- I mean-"
Modern Family
"drinks with an ex-girlfriend at an intimate French restaurant."
Modern Family
"Honey, you're doing that thing where you say what I want you to say..."
Modern Family
"but your tone seems mean."
Modern Family
"Let me guess. Denise isn't married."
Modern Family
"Recently divorced. What's the big deal?"
Modern Family
"Come on, Phil. You can't be that naive."
Modern Family
"They get into their little black outfits and try and sneak their way into your marriage."
Modern Family
"That's not Denise. Mmm."
Modern Family
"You're gonna feel silly. Okay."
Modern Family
"[Breathy] "Hey, Phil. How's it going?" You can't add the sexy voice."
Modern Family
"Okay. Just to prove how wrong you are, I'm gonna invite her over here for drinks."
Modern Family
"[Typing] Fine with me. Just hope it's fine with Denise."
Modern Family
"[Breathy] "Gee, Phil, I really had my heart set on Le Reve.""
Modern Family
"That voice doesn't bother me."
Modern Family
"Kind of like it!"
Modern Family
"[Cameron] Has he been acting weird around you?"
Modern Family
"No, no. I've been avoiding him all morning."
Modern Family
"So you don't even know if he heard you. That's why we're doing this."
Modern Family
"And where are you? I only have a half hour for lunch."
Modern Family
"- Hello, handsome. - So this is where it happened."
Modern Family
"Just turn off the phone, roll down the window and we'll see if you can hear me."
Modern Family
"[Beeps] [Horn Honking]"
Modern Family
"Go around! We're re-creating a faux pas!"
Modern Family
"Thank you. Okay. Can you hear me now?"
Modern Family
"Yeah, but just barely. Is this how loud you were talking?"
Modern Family
"It might have been a little bit louder."
Modern Family
"There was traffic. I almost had to shout."
Modern Family
"- You almost had to what? - Shout."
Modern Family
"- Little bit louder now. - Shout."
Modern Family
"- Little bit louder now. - Shout!"
Modern Family
"♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪"
Modern Family
"Really, Cam? My job is at stake here, and-"
Modern Family
"Oh, who are we kidding? You can obviously hear me."
Modern Family
"I am so screwed. [Sighs]"
Modern Family
"Manny? Manny, come here a second, pal."
Modern Family
"- Huh? - I got some bad news, buddy."
Modern Family
"What is it? Well, there's no easy way to say this."
Modern Family
"- Shel Turtlestein is dead. - What? How?"
Modern Family
"I was down here reading the paper, and I heard this commotion up in your room."
Modern Family
"And this mangy raccoon had busted through your screen."
Modern Family
"By the time I walked in, he had-"
Modern Family
"the little bastard had him by the neck and shaking him."
Modern Family
"He didn't even flinch. He just stared at me with that smug look..."
Modern Family
"If only I'd have got here earlier."
Modern Family
"May I see the body?"
Modern Family
"Baby, are you sure that's a good idea? It's something I have to do."
Modern Family
"That's him. Sorry, pal."
Modern Family
"It just doesn't make any sense. Yep. Only the good die young."
Modern Family
"But in school, we learn raccoons are nocturnal. They sleep during the day."
Modern Family
"They sure do, and this one must've got up for a midnight snack."
Modern Family
"You know, we've all done that."
Modern Family
"I don't think I can be in here right now. Too many memories."
Modern Family
"He'll be okay."
Modern Family
"I was hanging up the new poster and it fell on top of him."
Modern Family
"It was an accident. You have to tell him."
Modern Family
"No. I've been through this before."
Modern Family
"When Mitchell was nine, I was supposed to take care of his bird."
Modern Family
"My God. How many pets have you killed? Just the two."
Modern Family
"I took the heat on the bird. It was a big mistake."
Modern Family
"To this day, Mitchell looks at me,"
Modern Family
"I see him thinking, "That's the guy who killed Fliza Minnelli.""
Modern Family
"And what if he finds out? Then what?"
Modern Family
"He's not gonna find out because I covered my tracks."
Modern Family
"Okay."
Modern Family
"Fliza Minnelli?"
Modern Family
"Hey, Luke."
Modern Family
"Big day for you, huh? Why?"
Modern Family
"- Because you will get to meet your real mom. - What?"
Modern Family
"[Scoffs] We all made a pact we'd deny it until you turned 21."
Modern Family
"But that's the real reason Dad's old girlfriend's coming over."
Modern Family
"She's your mom, and if she likes you, you'll go live with her."
Modern Family
"I'm not adopted. I'm asking Mom."
Modern Family
"You mean Mrs. Dunphy? She's not going to tell you the truth."
Modern Family
"I-I'm not-"
Modern Family
"I know. [Whimpers]"
Modern Family
"Just 'cause he called you a dork-to-dork salesman?"
Modern Family
"The empire strikes back."
Modern Family
"Raccoons have five toes."
Modern Family
"You know, I bet I know what happened."
Modern Family
"I'll bet he lost those toes in a fight."
Modern Family
"And that guy looked like he'd been in a brawl or two."
Modern Family
"- One toe from each foot? - Maybe."
Modern Family
"You know, Manny, I think the only thing..."
Modern Family
"that's gonna get you to stop asking all these questions..."
Modern Family
"is for you to have a little closure."
Modern Family
"- What do you mean? - Well, I'd like to throw a little memorial for Shel."
Modern Family
"and then we never have to talk about this ever, ever again."
Modern Family
"[Doorbell Rings]"
Modern Family
"Hi!"
Modern Family
"Denise. Well- Okay."
Modern Family
"You're even prettier than the pictures that Phil's always posting."
Modern Family
"- Just a couple. - Oh?"
Modern Family
"Shut up. Every week. He loves showing you off."
Modern Family
"And my boyfriend likes your Acapulco pictures, probably a little too much."
Modern Family
"Oh, I brought you, um, some lifting intensifier."
Modern Family
"- Not that you need it. It's a limited edition, so- - Thank you. Thank you."
Modern Family
"Oh, Denise, I think you might know these people."
Modern Family
"Uh, that's Haley- Hi."
Modern Family
"I had curly hair just like that when I was little."
Modern Family
"So? That doesn't mean anything."
Modern Family
"[Whimpering]"
Modern Family
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