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Clips from Modern Family - Truth Be Told (S01E01)

"- She's in town for a week. - She's like a door-to-door salesman?"
Modern Family
"Come on. It's time for your lesson."
Modern Family
"Instead they give it to Rod Jackson?"
Modern Family
"- Pretty soon nothing will keep you down. - But it's not true."
Modern Family
"[Man] ♪ Hey, hey ♪"
Modern Family
"♪ Hey, hey Hey ♪♪"
Modern Family
"We both believe that animals should play a big part in Lily's life."
Modern Family
"They were more like brothers and sisters than just, you know, livestock."
Modern Family
"I have to. It's like this every Saturday. Just ignore it."
Modern Family
"[Groans] Yeah."
Modern Family
"Holy- Shel? You all right, buddy?"
Modern Family
"He's a miserable son of a bitch who..."
Modern Family
"Oh, you're Facebook friends."
Modern Family
"Seriously, women in their 30s on the Internet are like- they're like ninjas."
Modern Family
"Here. Read some of her messages. [Chuckling]"
Modern Family
"Are you seriously jealous? No, I am not jealous at all."
Modern Family
"I just happen to know women better than you do, and that woman wants a slice."
Modern Family
"He must have scampered up to where Shel was."
Modern Family
"Gravel was flying everywhere."
Modern Family
"I guess so. Yeah."
Modern Family
"It all adds up."
Modern Family
"You lie. What?"
Modern Family
"I'm Colombian. I know a fake crime scene when I see one."
Modern Family
"It got out and flew into a fan. It was like a bloody pillow fight."
Modern Family
"You'll be the guy that killed his pet and lied to him."
Modern Family
"How did I not know that kid was gay?"
Modern Family
"It's just confusing. The footprints in my room only have four toes."
Modern Family
"It'll be good for all of us. That way we get our grief out,"
Modern Family
"[Squealing] Yeah. Good to see you."
Modern Family
"Hi! Oh, my God. Hi. I'm Claire."
Modern Family
"You must be- Oh. Yeah. Hi."
Modern Family
"[Chuckles] Well, thank your boyfriend for me."
Modern Family
"Come on in, please."
Modern Family
"- Alex and- - Luke. Oh!"
Modern Family
"No! I like it here!"
Modern Family
"[Clears Throat] So how are we gonna do this?"
Modern Family
"Uh, you need to get that?"
Modern Family
"I know it's a Sunday, but, uh, you think you can be on time, okay?"
Modern Family
"uh, so I won't be here."
Modern Family
"Need the, uh, I.D. To- Uh-huh."
Modern Family
"[Exhales] I don't think I can do this without crying."
Modern Family
""When I didn't get to play the part of Tevye, Shel was there."
Modern Family
"Shel forgives you."
Modern Family
"Thank you."
Modern Family
"[Exhales] Oh."
Modern Family
"[Laughs] Hey. Come on now."
Modern Family
"and everybody's hooking up, and now you're disappointed."
Modern Family
"[Denise] Anything I can help with? No."
Modern Family
"It's way more exciting when she's in the room, isn't it? No."
Modern Family
"Are you telling me that I wasted a year of my life on this relationship?"
Modern Family
"Phil, honey. [Running]"
Modern Family
"when, uh, I was trying to break things off with Denise."
Modern Family
"Uh-huh. You took me to Santa Fe."
Modern Family
"Yes! It's exciting! It's exciting."
Modern Family
"- Hey. - And I'm not picking it up."
Modern Family
"Totally. What were we even waiting for?"
Modern Family
"You will go back to teaching music,"
Modern Family
"I am going to lie, grovel, debase myself until I get what I want."
Modern Family
"I am a lawyer, damn it."
Modern Family
"No. We'll find something better for you,"
Modern Family
"We're gonna figure it out."
Modern Family
"He's probably sleeping like a baby right now."
Modern Family
"All right? I'm sorry. It was an accident."
Modern Family
"Okay, but as soon as I'm back on my feet, I really want to-"
Modern Family
"I did? Yes."
Modern Family
"Hey, honey, Hugh Grant has a- I'm in."
Modern Family
"Okay, well, Alex has a cello lesson at 11:00..."
Modern Family
"and Junior Congress at noon."
Modern Family
"Doesn't she also have no boys at forever?"
Modern Family
"Don't you have an eating disorder you need to attend to?"
Modern Family
"Yeah, anyway, uh, we could see the 4:00 or the 6:20."
Modern Family
"Oh, actually, that's no good. I'm meeting my friend Denise for a drink."
Modern Family
"Denise? Do I know Denise? Yeah. You know, my old girlfriend."
Modern Family
"Oh, my God. Gross. I can't even picture you with a woman."
Modern Family
"- Thank you. - You had a girlfriend before Mom?"
Modern Family
"Try two."
Modern Family
"And then I met your mom."
Modern Family
"And thank you."
Modern Family
"So I guess she travels around selling makeup for a cosmetics company."
Modern Family
"If you were doing it, they'd call it a dork-to-dork salesman."
Modern Family
"Oh! My boy strikes like a rattlesnake!"
Modern Family
"Oh, yeah? W-Well, you-"
Modern Family
"Wow. All right, well, we can see the movie tomorrow."
Modern Family
"You mean her second lesson, because she just got schooled."
Modern Family
"What's wrong with me today? Shake it off, champ. It's not your day."
Modern Family
"[Manny] Hey."
Modern Family
"Ay, good morning, papi. Is it?"
Modern Family
"Ay, you're still sad because of that audition."
Modern Family
"That part was mine. I was born to play Tevye."
Modern Family
"What does he know from suffering?"
Modern Family
"- How we doing? - A little better."
Modern Family
"But we're gonna go and throw ice cream at the problem."
Modern Family
"Well, if that doesn't work, this should do the trick."
Modern Family
""What doesn't kill us makes us stronger.""
Modern Family
"We can hang this in your room. You can see it every morning, start to internalize it."
Modern Family
"- What are you talking about? - Lots of stuff that doesn't kill you makes you weaker."
Modern Family
"My friend's grandfather had a heart attack."
Modern Family
"Now he needs a machine to breathe."
Modern Family
"I've seen him- at the supermarket."
Modern Family
"Now he needs to drive one of those little, like- [lmitates Engine]"
Modern Family
"- That's right. Be negative. - It's just not a good poster, Jay."
Modern Family
"You're only making me stronger."
Modern Family
"♪ Hey, hey Hey, hey ♪"
Modern Family
"Did you pack the bread for the ducks? Yes."
Modern Family
"Not the whole-wheat kind. The ducks don't like that."
Modern Family
"They're ducks, Mitchell. They don't care."
Modern Family
"Having grown up on a farm, I was surrounded by them."
Modern Family
"Delicious brothers and sisters."
Modern Family
"Life on a farm- they know what they're getting into."
Modern Family
"Eesh."
Modern Family
"[Cell Phone Ringing] Oh, wait."
Modern Family
"Oh, it's the office. Don't answer it."
Modern Family
"Well, maybe it's not that this time. Hello?"
Modern Family
"That's nice."
Modern Family
"Oh, hell."
Modern Family
"[Cameron] Oh, there's four of 'em, Mitchell."
Modern Family
"They're giving her little duck kisses. [Quacking]"
Modern Family
"Oh, she's laughing. I can't believe you're missing this."
Modern Family
"Well, why not, Cam? I've missed everything else."
Modern Family
"She rolled over when I was in Phoenix."
Modern Family
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