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Clips from Modern Family - Moon Landing (S01E01)

"[Phil] You will not regret this decision, Mrs. Patterson."
Modern Family
"And I'll tell you what. We're gonna have you over to our little house to celebrate."
Modern Family
"Okay? Okay, bye-bye. You should come back again-"
Modern Family
"Just concluding a little business. Very successfully, I might add."
Modern Family
"Honey- Hey!"
Modern Family
"- Hi. - Is that Valerie?"
Modern Family
"- [Valerie] Yeah. - Wow!"
Modern Family
"You look fantastic. Thank you."
Modern Family
"Okay."
Modern Family
"How long has it been? A long time."
Modern Family
"- Oh, my goodness. - Oh, I can't touch you. Okay."
Modern Family
"A little bit difficult. Gulf divides us, eh?"
Modern Family
"So nice to see you. It's great to see you though-"
Modern Family
"Okay. All right."
Modern Family
"Okay, then. Thanks for coming by."
Modern Family
"It's such a pleasure. Bye-bye."
Modern Family
"Thanks for stopping by. You have a beautiful family."
Modern Family
"She looks great, doesn't she? What is on your face?"
Modern Family
"One time! Once!"
Modern Family
"who I want to impress, and what do I find?"
Modern Family
"A bunch of booze-drenched hill people..."
Modern Family
"and fornicating in the stairwell."
Modern Family
"Can I say something? No. No, you can't, Mario."
Modern Family
"There is nothing left to say but thank you."
Modern Family
"Ow!"
Modern Family
"I told you I'd win. [Shower Running]"
Modern Family
"Not talking so much now, are you, hotshot?"
Modern Family
"[Water Off] Hope you enjoy that nice, hot shower,"
Modern Family
"but it's not gonna wash away the shame of that 15-7 beatdown."
Modern Family
"You should have seen the look on your face..."
Modern Family
"[Chuckling] Ah. Okay, splashdown."
Modern Family
"Got me again. Yep."
Modern Family
"Except for one thing- Doesn't even bother me anymore."
Modern Family
"I could do this all day. Here, another one for you."
Modern Family
"Maybe a couple of 'em. [Chuckles]"
Modern Family
"Jay, I just noticed a sauna back here."
Modern Family
"How big of a hurry are we in? Biggest hurry of your life."
Modern Family
"'Scuse me. 'Scuse me."
Modern Family
"Well, if you're going to be stranded,"
Modern Family
"might as well be in a place full of cupcakes."
Modern Family
"I don't think you need any more."
Modern Family
"Ay. I'm sorry, guys."
Modern Family
"It's true- I am a defensive driver."
Modern Family
"You mean you're defensive about- I know what I am."
Modern Family
"Let's go."
Modern Family
"It's just that I don't like when people just assume that I'm a bad driver."
Modern Family
"Maybe it was just, like, a little bit my fault."
Modern Family
"Well, I'm glad you can admit that, Gloria."
Modern Family
"But I'm still gonna need you as my lawyer, Mitch."
Modern Family
"Why? Because this one-"
Modern Family
"It was not my fault, I promise you."
Modern Family
"That's what that sound was. It was the big cupcake."
Modern Family
"That was unreal. Mom was crazy."
Modern Family
"I'm scared."
Modern Family
"I'd be willing to bet she's just composing herself,"
Modern Family
"taking a nice, long, peaceful walk in the park."
Modern Family
"[Muffled] Perfect."
Modern Family
"[Claire] At that moment all I wanted was to be with my family."
Modern Family
"to the people that I had belittled and rejected."
Modern Family
"- [Groans] - Okay, you are so crazy. That song totally rules."
Modern Family
"[Alex] Daddy, you're crazy. Crazy right."
Modern Family
"Hey, honey. Hi."
Modern Family
"No, seriously, Dad. It's lame. Seriously, Luke. It's not."
Modern Family
"You got some mustard or something on your face."
Modern Family
"I think I know a little bit about music. I was a deejay in college."
Modern Family
"I had my own show- in the coveted time slot."
Modern Family
"Daybreak with Dunphy. [Haley] Are you kidding me?"
Modern Family
"Dad, that's embarrassing. Never gonna give- Sing it, Luke."
Modern Family
"[Claire] They could have been petty."
Modern Family
"Never loved 'em more."
Modern Family
"Why the hell couldn't Valerie have seen them like that?"
Modern Family
"- Hey, Mr. Dunphy. - What's happening?"
Modern Family
"Well, Haley and I got into another fight."
Modern Family
"Oh- Say Anything."
Modern Family
"Um, good morning?"
Modern Family
"No, Dylan. SayAnything. Clutch movie."
Modern Family
"Clutch movie."
Modern Family
"She probably won't be up for a couple hours still."
Modern Family
"It's okay. It's not that heavy."
Modern Family
"and changed into my work pumps."
Modern Family
"Just, uh, test-driving my new soup strainer."
Modern Family
"You're kinda squeezing the ring right into my finger. Was I?"
Modern Family
"One time I bring somebody home..."
Modern Family
"Look. I know your mom pretty well. She's fine."
Modern Family
"They didn't press. It was glancing. Stop talking about it!"
Modern Family
"[Laughs]"
Modern Family
"So you want to go up against me again? Yes."
Modern Family
"[Objects Crash] [Dylan Groans]"
Modern Family
"Right. A crazy driver."
Modern Family
"[Screams] Gross! A rat!"
Modern Family
"Okay-"
Modern Family
"[Luke] Hey, Mom. Come on. Sit down."
Modern Family