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Clips from A Series of Unfortunate Events - The Bad Beginning: Part Two (S01E01)

"I have a lead on our missing parents. They're alive, but they've been..."
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"The world is quiet here."
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"Gustav?"
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"Gustav?"
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"The Baudelaires did not understand"
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"instead of living with Justice Strauss."
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"Usually, our theatrical reviews are the most boring part of the paper."
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"But I bet you little stage hogs are about to make the front page again."
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"It seemed to the children that they were moving in an aberrant,"
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"They almost always are."
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"Every moment the children are without us drags them deeper into danger."
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"However, the sad history of the Baudelaire orphans"
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"with a mysterious tattoo of an eye on his ankle,"
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"Why? you may ask."
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"Inside the private, somewhat ill-decorated office of Mr. Poe"
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"For standing ovation?"
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"Well, we've got to reach them. Try Peru."
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"I'm keeping an eye on things best I can, but..."
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"- I have an appointment. - Name?"
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"Yessica Haircut?"
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"shortly after the Baudelaire fire"
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"I'm here on business."
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"Count..."
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"Yes, absolutely, for sure."
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"Guess I'll get it myself."
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"Then we could buy a castle and live in it"
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"It sounds like Latin."
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"The actor is acting as your parent."
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"We're not going back to Count Olaf's house!"
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"I want to talk to you about something."
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"who provides one bed for three people to sleep in,"
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"Therefore..."
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"But standoffish isn't one of them."
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"He ate them all."
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"Even I don't like reading such books, and I work at the High Court."
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"There are countless types of books in this world,"
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"Nuptial."
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"Justice Strauss?"
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"The only nuptial requirements are"
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"Now, you can see it."
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"Let me eat cake."
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"Listen to us. Count Olaf is..."
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"but to try to rescue his siblings from a terrible predicament."
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"so did Count Olaf."
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"What are you doing here? You're supposed to be in your room."
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"The only nuptial requirements are"
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"It is very useful, whether one is young or in late middle age,"
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"I knew that. I was testing you."
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"while Justice Strauss is in the room, she's legally married."
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"you'd gain complete control over the Baudelaire fortune. But..."
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"A prospective spouse must be chronologically sound and appropriate"
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"Sorry to interrupt, everyone,"
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"It certainly is so strange to find a child missing,"
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"Hi."
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"I wish I had an inventor here."
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"- Gustav. - Jacquelyn."
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"That's what the Baudelaire parents wanted, in case of fire."
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"- Hello? - Boss, it's me."
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"Me. Your henchman with the..."
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"You'll never touch our fortune."
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"I'll touch whatever I want."
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"um..."
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"Tried to rescue Sunny using an invention of mine to climb up the tower."
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"Maybe."
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"reflect the personalities of the occupants."
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"than, say, streaming television."
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"- Intermission, 9:15. - Check."
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"I'm trying to get into character."
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"Would you like to deal?"
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"But that piece of paper's not an official document."
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"- Literally. - I said literally."
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"I'm afraid this marriage is entirely binding."
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"Morality cannot be legislated, but behavior can be regulated."
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"but they can restrain the heartless."
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"had all the apocryphal insight of Thurgood Marshall"
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"You let the authorities worry about that."
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"just because you don't understand it, doesn't mean it isn't so."
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"Molotov cocktail."
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"I don't know."
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"Their story begins before their brief and unpleasant stay with the Poe family."
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"That answer, at least, can be found shortly after the fire"
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"I have an appointment for a haircut right now."
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"The word standoffish is a wonderful one,"
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"to make you feel a little more at home here..."
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"And learning how to prepare roast beef."
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"Justice Strauss, you are about to find your drab, legal beagle existence"
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"then the after-party at the Mexican place."
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"Literally is a word which here means that something is actually happening,"
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"Okay."
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"He found himself reading the same sentence over and over."
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"up."
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"than the objects they found in Count Olaf's tower room."
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"In loco parentis."
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"during tomorrow night's performance?"
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"- File, not fire. - I said file."
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"the law of the land clearly states that the bride must say I do"
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"while a stunningly-costumed bride, played by Violet, stands beside me."
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"to three orphans in horrifying circumstances,"
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"Jacquelyn?"
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"I'd say things are looking up, up..."
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"There are many police inspectors,"
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"instead of when you come of age."
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"It's... it's just a stage prop."
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"then you won't be legally married."
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"It's my turn."
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"Klaus was not reading for his own enjoyment,"
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"- All right, curtain 8:00 p.m. - Check."
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"I thought you were marrying the older one."
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"You're going to marry her literally."
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"Hello, my name is Lemony Snicket,"
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"but as I believe Mr. Poe has explained to you,"
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"You think he was trying to poison us with those raspberries?"
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"you should only do it with the people you love."
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"Mmm."
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"I'm so happy I could jump for joy,"
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"Hmm."
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"your sister will be married to me."
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"Not funny, guys."
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"Things are worse than we thought."
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"Jacquelyn, could you bring the Baudelaire file in here, please?"
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