Loading...
You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from The Office - Drug Testing (S02E02)

"Mine was green."
The Office
"Oh, right."
The Office
"How are you? I'm all better."
The Office
"I need your urine, I need some filing done. What kind of filing?"
The Office
"Just forget it. Just the urine."
The Office
"That goes directly to the tester. Just..."
The Office
"I need your urine."
The Office
"Like in a cup? Yes, in a cup."
The Office
"We're not animals, Dwight."
The Office
"I went to an Alicia Keys concert over the weekend."
The Office
"I need clean urine for the lady."
The Office
"But that's illegal."
The Office
"It's like urine goes all over the place."
The Office
"Not my urine."
The Office
"A cup could find its way under the urine. It might be an accident."
The Office
"Were you forced to do drugs at this concert?"
The Office
"I want him to have all the urine he needs."
The Office
"You're not gonna get my permission on this."
The Office
"I know that. Don't you think I know that?"
The Office
"Yeah, we do testing all over the country. Cool."
The Office
"You want to work at the urinalysis lab?"
The Office
"My grandfather's name was Dwight Schrute."
The Office
"Amish."
The Office
"When I was little, my dad and I played a lot of games together."
The Office
"I would have, except I didn't know about it."
The Office
"He didn't tell me till years later. And I was shocked when I found out."
The Office
"What?"
The Office
"Did you wanna tell me something? You look like you want to tell me something."
The Office
"Jim, you can tell me anything."
The Office
"I'd still like one."
The Office
"Dwight, well,"
The Office
"I passed the test, thanks to you and your untainted pee."
The Office
"Thank you very much. That's great."
The Office
"What's wrong? Where's your costume?"
The Office
"It's a uniform."
The Office
"And I turned it in today when I tendered my resignation."
The Office
"I took an oath when I was sworn in."
The Office
"And I broke that oath today."
The Office
"Here."
The Office
"And I really wanna know what the hell's going on with Dwight."
The Office
"Hi. Hey."
The Office
"How much time do you have left on your break?"
The Office
"Since you did such a good job with the investigation,"
The Office
"and I've decided to make you official security supervisor of the branch."
The Office
"Dwight K. Schrute, I hereby declare you an honorary volunteer corporal"
The Office
"Thank you, Michael."
The Office
"Very nice, great. Can I have a gun?"
The Office
"I'll have to bring in my bo staff."
The Office
"Good. Thank you, Michael."
The Office
"I need to go over some details with you. All right."
The Office
"First of all... Well, thank you."
The Office
"Hank. Okay."
The Office
"Two. Oh, God."
The Office
"Wow. What a terrible day to not be able to talk."
The Office
"Dwight was literally carrying around his own urine"
The Office
"6:00."
The Office
"Whoa, you are a volunteer."
The Office
"Dude, where's my office? I totally lost it"
The Office
"Yes, it's marijuana."
The Office
"I understand."
The Office
"Everybody in the aisle was doing it."
The Office
"is something to laugh about."
The Office
"No, no."
The Office
"Do you think that smoking drugs is cool?"
The Office
"No, I don't."
The Office
"This would be a good place to let it out, Jim."
The Office
"We will not judge you. We are here to not judge you."
The Office
"It's none of your business. Then I refuse."
The Office
"You know, there's no controlling it. It just..."
The Office
"We have..."
The Office
"Do you want to give Michael your urine?"
The Office
"Hey, are you guys hiring?"
The Office
"Yeah. Maybe."
The Office
"Every morning he'd wake up at dawn"
The Office
"I'd like a magazine."
The Office
"It is my duty... Volunteer duty."
The Office
"Yes, it is."
The Office
"and dressed like one of The Village People."
The Office
"So I said, Is it okay if I sip it?"
The Office
"He requests a hearing from a judge and obtains a search warrant."
The Office
"You know, you're totally harshing the office mellow."
The Office
"Those are the rules of Jinx and they are unflinchingly rigid."
The Office
"Anyway, after the opening act, this beautiful girl sits down next to me."
The Office
"Angela, what about you?"
The Office
"And you all failed. Miserably."
The Office
"I am so anti-drug that I am above suspicion in any way"
The Office
"Look, just..."
The Office
"there is automatic drug testing conducted within 24 hours."
The Office
"No, you will be. That is the law according to the rules."
The Office
"And I think I may have gotten high accidentally"
The Office
"Okay, you know what, Toby?"
The Office
"and tell us of something tragic"
The Office
"Really? Yes, sir."
The Office
"Now, I want everybody to take a look to their right."
The Office
"Okay. And I am very proud of being..."
The Office
"Sold out?"
The Office
"You tell me who this sounds like."
The Office
"I go down to the police station on my lunch break. I tell a police officer,"
The Office
"Now, how do you know how it works?"
The Office
"I don't know exactly how this happened,"
The Office
"But you know what?"
The Office
"Yeah, Pam."
The Office
"and I've got a lot of work to do and I wasn't planning on going to the bathroom"
The Office
"Dwide Schrude."
The Office
"That's fantastic. Because I've always felt that the security here sucked."
The Office
"Okay."
The Office
"Spit. Okay, come on. Let's go."
The Office
"I am ridiculously anti-drug."
The Office
"I know that Jim has an amazing story"
The Office
"Really? Mmm-hmm."
The Office
"And based upon what I have seen,"
The Office
"We test a lot of urine."
The Office
"For what purpose?"
The Office
"My dad cheated a lot, but I never busted him on it."
The Office
"I loved my father very much."
The Office
"Ten minutes."
The Office
"I don't think so. Don't..."
The Office
"I volunteered for this job. And that's not the same."
The Office
"And I never get to meet girls with lip rings and she had one."
The Office