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Clips from Night Court - All You Need Is Love (S01E01)

"- Are you finished painting? - Yeah."
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"...what's this guy supposed to be like?"
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"Here you go."
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"The Honorable..."
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"Well, how the hell are you tonight?"
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"- Guilty, Your Honor. - Miss Wagner..."
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"- Let's see here. Philip Kerr? - Yes, sir."
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"Carla Bouvoir?"
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"But I don't think that's gonna be necessary."
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"Your Honor, this is highly irregular."
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"- There isn't much we can do. - What's that mean?"
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"A judicial review board takes months, sometimes even years..."
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"So, what you're saying is..."
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"- I don't think I can. - Yeah..."
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"Used to come out:"
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"- Your Honor... - Call me:"
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"Maybe, just maybe, it'll work."
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"Oh, Dan, it must have been awful."
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"Thank you."
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"What's that behind your ear?"
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"- I don't think you're feeling very well. - Let's flip the coin, let it decide."
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"Take a seat, Miss Wagner."
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"And so he goes..."
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"I can appreciate that."
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"Mr. Fielding, did you have a happy childhood?"
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"Sheila."
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"But the main thing is, you get to know them."
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"Here it is: Heads, I send Louise to jail for seven years."
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"Good luck, Louise."
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"I love you, Louise."
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"Oh, come on."
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"Yeah. I had to shoot him too."
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"Will the counsels approach the bench, please?"
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"How?"
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"How did you get appointed to the bench?"
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"But you see, it's Sunday, so no one's home."
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"Your Honor."
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"I own every record Mel Torme ever made."
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"Fine."
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"I am new here, you know."
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"Sometimes I get lucky."
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"Give me one more chance, huh?"
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"The judge will be here any minute."
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"I'm watching a naked couple in the building across the alley. They're fooling around."
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"That's depraved."
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"Too soon to tell."
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"How would you like somebody watching you and your wife doing that?"
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"My wife won't do that."
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"Out."
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"God, I was so close."
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"Hi, Bull. Any sign of the new judge?"
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"Not yet. Say, Lana..."
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"I don't know. Our ex-mayor just filled the vacancies..."
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"...in the court his last day in office."
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"Nobody knows who was appointed or where they were assigned."
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"I think that's mercurial."
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"- Did you say "mercurial"? - I'm trying to make up for lack of education."
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"So every month, I pick a word at random out of the dictionary..."
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"...and use it all that month."
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"- My, how... - Minimifidian?"
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"Is that a real word?"
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"Does a bear extravasate in the forest?"
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"No."
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"Tell the judge the mayor called."
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"Bye, Bull."
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"- Hello. - Is that stuff for the judge?"
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"- Yeah. - What is it?"
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"It looks like junk to me."
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"Well, stick it over in the corner."
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"Right."
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"- My name's Harry. - So?"
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"I get your drift."
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"Is he here yet?"
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"- Good evening. - Do I look all right?"
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"You look fine, Sheila. Doesn't she, Dan?"
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"Yeah, swell."
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"You heard anything about him? Anything at all?"
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"Nada. I was just told to expect him tonight."
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"I hope he's got a background in criminal law."
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"I hope he plays chess."
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"A new man has been appointed to the bench..."
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"...and all you hope for is someone who can play chess."
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"I also hope his first name is not Shecky."
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"- Package for Judge Stone. - He's not here."
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"Hey, great view."
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"- What are you doing up there? - I'm watching this guy trying to..."
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"Bravo!"
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"- Could you just get off of there? - The judge has to sign for this himself."
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"Oh, yes, he is."
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"What?"
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"Oh, you don't mean..."
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"- You're judge Harold T. Stone? - Yep."
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"You are really a judge?"
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"Hey, listen, if I weren't the judge..."
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"...could I do this?"
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"Thanks. Sorry, I don't tip."
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"Besides, how do I know you're not the type..."
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"...to go out and spend it on a Barry Manilow album?"
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"Dan Fielding, assistant district attorney."
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"Nice to meet you."
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"I'm Sheila Gardiner, an attorney with legal aid."
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"Pleasure's mine."
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"I'm Lana Wagner, your court clerk."
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"Couldn't you just die?"
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"Pay no attention to the gossip."
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"On you, they look good."
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"I don't know what's holding the judge up."
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"- Diaper change, perhaps. - All rise."
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"Criminal courts, part two, city of New York, is now in session."
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"...Harold T..."
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"...Stone..."
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"...presiding."
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"Gotcha."
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"- Your Honor... - I've always wanted to see that happen."
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"Far be it from me to advise you on courtroom matters..."
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"- Where's my gavel? - I beg your pardon?"
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"- That hammer thing. - I know what it is..."
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"- Oh, here it is. - Your Honor..."
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"Ladies and gentlemen of the court..."
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"- Sir, the first case on the docket... - Harry?"
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