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Clips from New Girl - The 23rd (S01E01)

"- Don't. - Let's see this."
New Girl
"I skated until I was 13..."
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"Do I get him a gag gift or do I get him something sweet? I don't know."
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"get a gift that reflects it. That's the move."
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"- I know what I'm getting my mom. - Oh, my God, Nick."
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"We gotta blow this thing out."
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"We have to come back later. You'll see what I'm talking about."
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"Actually, it says that because, you know, heh, I made it specifically for you."
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"Let's get back to work."
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"really good at giving gifts..."
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"- You're very welcome. - You're welcome."
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"Yeah, I know, guess what, Paul. Don't even think right now. I'm drunk."
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"Did Jess tell you she doesn't love me?"
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"Joke."
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"- You coming? - Yeah, I'll be out in a sec."
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"Four calling birds Three French hens"
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"My man."
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"in an accent but make direct eye contact."
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"- Why am I talking about this? - My God, the sex is great, it's amazing."
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"I knew you were getting out of a long relationship."
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"You told me all about Spencer. I thought we were feeling the same things."
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"I feel like maybe you were feeling them a little bit more than me."
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"and I'm trying really hard not to get hurt again."
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"It is my mom, though."
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"I can't believe it took you five years to say that."
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"Think I just got ajingle bell rock. You know what I mean?"
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"- That is so inappropriate. - I get it, so you can dish it out..."
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"I like it."
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"Okay."
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"- It's Christmas. Don't break up with her. - It's okay, Nick."
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"- The man with no shirt killed Santa. - Oh, heh, you mean Schmidt."
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"What up, Mrs. Miller?"
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"What airline has flights that leave at 4 a. M?"
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"You're going in the wrong direction!"
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"We came here to see the lights."
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"It's good!"
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"Ma, I'm not high! Stop yelling! I'm driving a car. I can't talk."
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"You know, I wrote a poem about you. You wanna hear it?"
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"I can't believe Jess got me roller skates for Christmas."
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""Merry Christmas, Brendan. Don't swallow these. Love, Uncle Nick.""
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"He's a 12-year-old kid, it's a bunch of tacks."
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"- He's gonna love them. Give it to me. - I hate Christmas."
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"First of all, it means that Hanukkah is over."
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"I hate it when you guys leave and go home."
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"- When are you leaving? - I think 4 a.m."
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"- Three p.m. - Is that it?"
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"Schmidt, don't worry. We'll hang at your office party."
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"Please tell me you're not dressing up like Santa."
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"I'm the only man in the office. Of course I will."
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"Look, I like it. I get all this dirt on my coworkers."
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"They get drunk and whisper what they want for Christmas..."
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"and I use that information to undermine them..."
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"and control them for the rest of the year."
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"Ah, true spirit of Christmas."
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"Winston, you'd better watch it because I will take you down."
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"You want to go? You want to go? You're gonna take me down?"
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"then my mom sobered up and realized I was a boy. Let's do this."
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"You should not have said that. - Don't."
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"- You're wearing roller skates. - I'm telling you, man."
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"Both of you. Nothing's smart about what you guys are doing."
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"Why don't you both act like grown-ups? No, no."
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"I need your help now. Get in my car..."
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"and come to the mall because I need to figure out what to buy Paul for..."
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"You guys are all wearing the holiday gifts I gave you."
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"That is so sweet. I need to take a picture."
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"- Jess, don't take a photo now. - So cute."
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"Don't do the photo. No pictures. - So cute."
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"- Who's that girl? - Who's that girl?"
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"- Who's that girl? - Who's that girl?"
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"It's Jess"
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"Why can't you figure out what to get Paul?"
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"I don't know."
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"We've only been going out for, like, a month..."
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"so not something fancy."
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"You gotta figure out what you feel about him..."
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"My initial thought was to get him a gift certificate for piping hot sex."
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"You're being serious?"
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"I don't want him to think I'm using him for his body."
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"I'm sure he'd be okay with that."
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""Nerdy weird sex that works for both of us.""
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"- Give it back. - Amazing."
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"I'm gonna keep this. Cash this in one night and get some weird nerd sex with it."
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"Oh, my God, thank you."
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"This goes right to my mom."
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"Why do we have to go to this office party tonight?"
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"It's the last night before you guys go home to your families."
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"It'll be a good opportunity for you to do networking."
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"Help with the job search."
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"Everybody's hitting the nog, having a good time, letting loose."
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"You swoop in there and then boom, new job, man."
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"That's how things work."
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"Benjamins in your pocket, la pensione..."
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"little four-to-the-oh- to-the-one-to-the-kay."
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"You're making me want to stay broke."
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"So, what'd you get Paul?"
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"I'm not telling you but, um, I'll give you a hint. It's fuzzy."
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"I hope you didn't listen to Nick. He's the worst gift giver ever."
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"You're welcome."
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"- Where are we, Jess? - We are on Candy Cane Lane."
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"At night, the whole block lights up with Christmas decorations. It's so beautiful."
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"- Oh, my God, it's so beautiful. - What fun, what wonderful fun."
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"Okay, whatever."
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"Oh, no, we have to go straight from the party to the airport."
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"- Oh. - Yes, I've missed my flight..."
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"four years in a row."
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"If I miss it this year, my mom's gonna kill me."
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"- Schmidt, it's a menorah for you. - Menorah."
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"Oh, a menorah. Judaism, son."
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"Hey, hi."
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"You look awesome."
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"It's a before and after for a Bolivian diet pill."
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"El Glatrax? I've taken that."
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"- I'm "before." - Sure, you are, look at that."
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"So you said you wanted to see me for something?"
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"Yes, I brought you a gift."
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"I hope you appreciate I have kept eye contact with you whole time..."
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"and made no reference that you are naked."
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"- Very proud of you, Schmidt. - Hey."
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"Hey."
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"- Lot of tongue. - You done with her hair?"
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