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Clips from Taxi - Reverend Jim: A Space Odyssey (S02E02)

"Weight, uh..."
Taxi
"now this is a very relative question."
Taxi
"I mean, if I were in space I'd be weightless."
Taxi
"You are in space."
Taxi
"Jim, they mean Earth weight."
Taxi
"Oh."
Taxi
"Whew."
Taxi
"This is the most reading I've done in years."
Taxi
"My brown eyes hurt."
Taxi
"Here, here, let me help you out, okay?"
Taxi
"All right. Phew!"
Taxi
"Um... "Have you ever experienced"
Taxi
""loss of consciousness, hallucinations,"
Taxi
""dizzy spells, convulsive disorders,"
Taxi
"Well, hasn't everyone?"
Taxi
"Put "No.""
Taxi
"That's a tough choice."
Taxi
"Just put "No.""
Taxi
"Okay, that's it."
Taxi
"You're ready for the test."
Taxi
"I thought this was the test."
Taxi
"No, no, no, this is the application."
Taxi
"Oh, man!"
Taxi
"The day is getting rougher and rougher."
Taxi
"I'd be just like them."
Taxi
"I think that Cubby's got it in for me."
Taxi
"Jim, really, it's going to be okay."
Taxi
"We'll just take your application up to the counter"
Taxi
"and then they'll give you the test, okay?"
Taxi
"Okay."
Taxi
"Do they serve beer over there?"
Taxi
"No."
Taxi
"You're going to need this."
Taxi
"Yeah."
Taxi
"Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy."
Taxi
"This is a joke."
Taxi
"What are you worried about?"
Taxi
"Two things--"
Taxi
"That they won't issue him a license to drive in this city"
Taxi
"and that they will."
Taxi
"ELAINE: Go get them."
Taxi
"He's going to do it."
Taxi
"I know he's going to do it."
Taxi
"( grunts )"
Taxi
"Psst..."
Taxi
"What does a yellow light mean?"
Taxi
"Okay."
Taxi
"What... does..."
Taxi
"a... yellow..."
Taxi
"light... mean?"
Taxi
"Slow down."
Taxi
"Okay."
Taxi
"What..."
Taxi
"does..."
Taxi
"a..."
Taxi
"...yellow..."
Taxi
"light..."
Taxi
"mean?"
Taxi
"Slow down!"
Taxi
"What..."
Taxi
"...does..."
Taxi
"a..."
Taxi
"mean?!"
Taxi
"I got to admit, I never thought you'd pass."
Taxi
"The examiner said I did real well."
Taxi
"I didn't hit hardly anything."
Taxi
"Hey, Jeff?"
Taxi
"Yeah?"
Taxi
"Give this man a key. Okay."
Taxi
"And an envelope."
Taxi
"Jim, I'd like to present you with the keys to Cab 605"
Taxi
"and your first envelope."
Taxi
"I never been good at speeches,"
Taxi
"but this is one of the great moments of my life."
Taxi
"I've never felt closer to a group of people,"
Taxi
"not even in the portable johns at Woodstock."
Taxi
"Well, uh, I'm off."
Taxi
"Oh, I'd like to request the honor"
Taxi
"of being your first passenger."
Taxi
"Okay."
Taxi
"Well, thank you."
Taxi
"Where are you headed?"
Taxi
"Uptown... cabby."
Taxi
"That'll be 90 cents."
Taxi
"( theme music playing )"
Taxi
"WOMAN: Night, Mr. Walters."
Taxi
"( grunts )"
Taxi
"It was a weird thing, Tommy."
Taxi
"Mm-hmm."
Taxi
"Yo!"
Taxi
"* I feel like a sex machine."
Taxi
"LOUIE: Hey, Wheeler!"
Taxi
"Do I sound like Judy to you?"
Taxi
"Where was I?"
Taxi
""Eyes.""
Taxi
"Is that so?"
Taxi
"fainting, or periods of loss of memory?""
Taxi
"How you doing, Banta?"
Taxi
"( all chuckling )"
Taxi
"901 looks nice."
Taxi
"Well, hop in."
Taxi