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Clips from Archer (2009) - Animation (S05E05)

"(thunder rumbling) (screaming) ARCHER: Goddamn it, Ray. Are you drunk?"
Archer (2009)
"LANA: Although not for lack of trying. ARCHER: Exactly, that's my"
Archer (2009)
"Krieger's the loose cannon, Judd Nelson, and Lana, you're... um..."
Archer (2009)
"LANA: Oh, my God. MALORY: What the hell are you talking about?"
Archer (2009)
"LANA: So, what, you think I'm Ally Sheedy? MALORY: Are you all just"
Archer (2009)
"pregnant in high school. KRIEGER: Had there been a sequel."
Archer (2009)
"don't shut up. MALORY (sighs): Pam, I know you're in there."
Archer (2009)
"So maybe keep that in mind when you're choosing godparents. (Lana laughs)"
Archer (2009)
"Slater sent us. LANA: Wait, wait, wait, wait. RAY: Tower, this is"
Archer (2009)
"ARCHER: Jesus, will you relax? (gulping)"
Archer (2009)
"could happen? (tires squealing) TROOPS: Get on the ground!"
Archer (2009)
"(indistinct shouting) ARCHER: Don't shoot! Don't shoot!"
Archer (2009)
"I... CALDERÓN: Not you, you baboon-faced baboon."
Archer (2009)
"I... no, not what, huh? Damn it, man, I was sleepwalking."
Archer (2009)
"CALDERÓN: Eh? (muttering in agreement) KRIEGER: Hey, what's"
Archer (2009)
"going on? CYRIL (sighs): Maybe you're their god."
Archer (2009)
"ALL: Wait, what?! ARCHER: Yeah, seriously, what?"
Archer (2009)
"CALDERÓN: "Outlaw Country," "Hoochie Coochie Coochie Man," "Travis County Limitado.""
Archer (2009)
"I am... I am your biggest fan. Please, we go to the presidential palace?"
Archer (2009)
"PAM (laughing): Holy dickballs! I mean, I mean, I mean, just"
Archer (2009)
"CALDERÓN: It's in the mountains far, far away where we will crush the communist rebel"
Archer (2009)
"dogs! Especially now that we are once again receiving weapons."
Archer (2009)
"our terms? CALDERÓN: I... but Cherlene? MALORY: Is exhausted."
Archer (2009)
"always get stuck together. But I kind of don't mind it. CYRIL: Hmm, actually I don't"
Archer (2009)
"either, now that I think... RAY: Queer! (laughs)"
Archer (2009)
"Helicopters We should sell those 'Cause I'm a ropper. ♪"
Archer (2009)
"I could get extremely used to this. Matt, Joel, hi, shut up."
Archer (2009)
"I... oh, got a, I got a... whoa, ho, ho, ho, oh, ho, ho, oh, no!"
Archer (2009)
"(metal clanging)"
Archer (2009)
"Hey, are there more towels? Hey, are there more...? CYRIL: You realize this"
Archer (2009)
"isn't a hotel, right? LANA: And even if it were, that is not how you'd go about"
Archer (2009)
"going with that? PAM: Ice machine. CIL: Ooh, hey, I could use"
Archer (2009)
"Ha, hee, cold, cold, cold... LANA: And there, but for the grace of..."
Archer (2009)
"Hey, get me fizzy water! (Pam farts, laughs) Thanks!"
Archer (2009)
"MALORY: I'm sorry? CALDERÓN: Tanks? MALORY: For?"
Archer (2009)
"Yes, please. CALDERÓN: But soon I think more, no?"
Archer (2009)
"PAM: What a frickin' clip joint. KRIEGER: No towels."
Archer (2009)
"PAM: Oh, my God, please say yes. ARCHER: All right, is"
Archer (2009)
"the weapons to give me to fight the comunistas. MALORY: Exactly."
Archer (2009)
"ARCHER: Wait, what? Why wouldn't they just...? MALORY: Sterling, shut up"
Archer (2009)
"pay for them in cash. CALDERÓN: Ooh! MALORY: Starting now."
Archer (2009)
"Blitko. So we have, in this area, these very geometric shapes, in these"
Archer (2009)
"CALDERÓN: I was just showing them the Blitko. JULIANA: Do you like what you"
Archer (2009)
"CYRIL: Clones? KRIEGER: Yes, clones! My God, it was like looking"
Archer (2009)
"ARCHER: Okay, not that, but A) a palace this big definitely has an ice machine,"
Archer (2009)
"LANA: Uh, hang on. Okay. (clears throat)"
Archer (2009)
"ARCHER: It wasn't anonymous, Lana. I thought she was the maid."
Archer (2009)
"ARCHER: Or a woman you literally bump into on the train."
Archer (2009)
"ARCHER: Hang on. Yes? LANA: Okay. So."
Archer (2009)
"yes, yes, come, come, come, come, come, come, because I am pulling out!"
Archer (2009)
"Come on, move it, up, up, up! MALORY: Well, of all the... CALDERÓN: Please, Cherlene."
Archer (2009)
"this for a fact-- her debut album has now officially sold one million copies!"
Archer (2009)
"Amazing! A toast. CHERLENE: No, like literally"
Archer (2009)
"how! A toast! PAM: Hear, hear!"
Archer (2009)
"♪ I'll burn it down"
Archer (2009)
"I'll burn it down to the ground"
Archer (2009)
"RAY: No, dumbass, are you? ARCHER: No."
Archer (2009)
"whole point. (retching) CYRIL: Oh, how can you drink"
Archer (2009)
"rum with all this turbulence? ARCHER: Oh, my God! That's my whole point!"
Archer (2009)
"MALORY: Enough already! My God, are you people paid by the word?"
Archer (2009)
"It's bad enough I'm packed into this flying boxcar with you... (gasping)"
Archer (2009)
"bus with the worst driver on the planet! (Ray muttering)"
Archer (2009)
"What was that? ARCHER: It is kind of like a school bus."
Archer (2009)
"We've got the whole Breakfast Club in here. I'm Emilio Estevez."
Archer (2009)
"LANA: Wait, seriously? Molly Ringwald. ALL: Eh..."
Archer (2009)
"ARCHER: God forbid. KRIEGER: Right? CYRIL: And as for who's the"
Archer (2009)
"hot one... LANA: Wait, what, of us? I'm the hot one!"
Archer (2009)
"yourself! (muttering) PAM: Shh! Will you shut up?"
Archer (2009)
"PAM: No, we're not. But if we are, which I don't admit to, which Breakfast"
Archer (2009)
"Clubber am I? ARCHER: Hmm, I guess the janitor everybody thinks is"
Archer (2009)
"that you take that as a compliment. (farts)"
Archer (2009)
"we've arrived at a pause in the idiocy, let's recap the plan for when we land in San Marcos."
Archer (2009)
"LANA: Yeah, because I'm curious how we tell Calderón we turned six million dollars'"
Archer (2009)
"MALORY: That's the CIA's problem. Calderón doesn't care."
Archer (2009)
"myself. MALORY: All that matters is that Calderón pays us for this"
Archer (2009)
"shitty. ARCHER: Yeah, Cyril! AIR TRAFFIC CONTROLLER: Tower"
Archer (2009)
"Identify yourself. RAY: Uh, guys? ARCHER: Just tell them Slater"
Archer (2009)
"sent us. LANA: You think that's a good idea, flying into a war zone,"
Archer (2009)
"telling them we're with the CIA? ARCHER: If Slater even was CIA."
Archer (2009)
"ARCHER (scoffs): Beanbagged. MALORY: Oh, whichever. ARCHER: It's a fairly"
Archer (2009)
"important distinction. LANA: Sorry, can I be a nag for a second?"
Archer (2009)
"ARCHER: Oh, my God, Lana, I've had only, like, eight drinks."
Archer (2009)
"LANA: Okay, not that, but wait, really? ARCHER: Yeah, I've totally"
Archer (2009)
"cut back, and not that it's any of your beeswax, but I've also cut back on... you know."
Archer (2009)
"MALORY: On what? Sterling, with you, that could almost literally be anything."
Archer (2009)
"ARCHER: Anonymous sex, if you must know. MALORY: Ew!"
Archer (2009)
"LANA: Really? ARCHER: I've totally, relatively cleaned up my act."
Archer (2009)
"LANA: I will, Archer. I really will. AIR TRAFFIC CONTROLLER:"
Archer (2009)
"Beechcraft, identify. RAY: Guys! ARCHER: Goddamn it, tell him"
Archer (2009)
"Beechcraft. LANA: Ray! RAY: Uh, Slater sent us?"
Archer (2009)
"(belches) (groans) (sighs) What's the worst that"
Archer (2009)
"I am obviously talking to these gringos, and also, if I am here, then you are obviously not in"
Archer (2009)
"who is in charge here? ARCHER: That would be... CALDERÓN: Because they are to"
Archer (2009)
"down there with the more or less permanent scowl. MALORY: Señor Presidente, it"
Archer (2009)
"MALORY (chuckles): Well, thank you. Anyhoo, hello?"
Archer (2009)
"CALDERÓN: So, the stories are true. KRIEGER: What stories?"
Archer (2009)
"(gasps) CALDERÓN: Okay, all but him, arrest."
Archer (2009)
"(indistinct talking) MALORY: Without even checking the merchandise?"
Archer (2009)
"(snapping) (groaning) Although not that particular"
Archer (2009)
"CHERLENE: Goddamn it! Who the hell drilled my box?! ARCHER: So, we're just done"
Archer (2009)
"with phrasing, right? That's not a thing anymore? (gasps)"
Archer (2009)
"PAM: I'm fine, too, by the way. ARCHER: Oh, great."
Archer (2009)
"LANA: That's good. CALDERÓN: Please, come, come. Come, come, come, come, come."
Archer (2009)
"ARCHER: So, phrasing's just dead then? LANA: What is your...?"
Archer (2009)
"Wait, are you drunk? ARCHER (scoffs): Please. Off 12 drinks?"
Archer (2009)
"CALDERÓN: Viva Cherlene! Viva Cherlene! TROOPS (chanting): Cherlene!"
Archer (2009)
"Cherlene! LANA: Wait a minute, you said eight drinks!"
Archer (2009)
"TROOPS: Cherlene! Cherlene!"
Archer (2009)
"holy.... LANA: Dickballs. Yes, Pam, I got it."
Archer (2009)
"CALDERÓN: I-I cannot believe it is actually you."
Archer (2009)
"Here in my palace, I mean... CHERLENE: Yeah, it's blowing your mind, huh?"
Archer (2009)
"CALDERÓN: Boom! (laughing): Yeah. Can I please bring you anything?"
Archer (2009)
"CHERLENE: Don't you, like, have a war to go to? (scoffs)"
Archer (2009)
"MALORY: Yoo-hoo! And about that, I was hoping that you and I could discuss"
Archer (2009)
"As is my drink. (sighs) CYRIL: Why do we always have"
Archer (2009)
"to share a room? RAY: The sinister gay cabal, Cyril, you have fallen victim to"
Archer (2009)
"the sinister gay cabal. CYRIL: Okay, you know... RAY: I don't know why we"
Archer (2009)
"(rhythmic zipping) (rhythmic shaking) ARCHER: ♪ Apache"
Archer (2009)
"Let's set up lunch with Adnan Khashoggi, I... (knocking)"
Archer (2009)
"(clears throat) Uh, may I help you? MAID: I'm sorry to bother"
Archer (2009)
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