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Clips from Archer (2009) - Animation (S05E05)

"(buttons popping) Although that being said, it's better to be safe than"
Archer (2009)
"But only towels. KRIEGER: Hey, are there more towels?"
Archer (2009)
"getting towels! PAM: Who are you, Princess... hang on... Lana?"
Archer (2009)
"LANA: Well played. PAM: I've got crate lag. LANA: And where are you"
Archer (2009)
"some ice. KRIEGER: Oh, and if you see a housekeeping cart, can you grab"
Archer (2009)
"me some towels? PAM: Yep! KRIEGER: You're not going to,"
Archer (2009)
"CALDERÓN: Hmm. Hmm... Maybe to start?"
Archer (2009)
"MALORY: I... defer to you? CALDERÓN: Then yes, I think to start."
Archer (2009)
"(cork pops) Yes? MALORY: Oh."
Archer (2009)
"CALDERÓN: No, please, of course, I am willing to do whatever it takes."
Archer (2009)
"Anything. MALORY: Well, then that makes two of us."
Archer (2009)
"CALDERÓN: Wait, really? Anything? MALORY: Yes?"
Archer (2009)
"MALORY: Wha...? No! CALDERÓN: Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God, sorry, I'm"
Archer (2009)
"sorry, I'm sorry, I thought you... MALORY: No! For the... No!"
Archer (2009)
"CALDERÓN: I misunderstood. I apologize. MALORY: And well you should!"
Archer (2009)
"CALDERÓN: And well I do! Please forgive me. MALORY: I mean..."
Archer (2009)
"No, we're in Central America. (gasps) CHERLENE: Oh, my God!"
Archer (2009)
"We did it! We're free! PAM: Do...?"
Archer (2009)
"CHERLENE: Outlaw different country woooooo!"
Archer (2009)
"PAM: Sometimes I worry about her. CYRIL: Eh."
Archer (2009)
"KRIEGER: Ooh, hang on, maybe this is it. PAM: I don't know."
Archer (2009)
"It looks kind of... KRIEGER: Ugh, Pam, they can't leave valuable towels and ice"
Archer (2009)
"just lying around. Hotel profit margins are very thin."
Archer (2009)
"(gasps) Oh, oh, oh... (muffled yelling)"
Archer (2009)
"Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me. CYRIL: Krieger? What'd you, see a ghost?"
Archer (2009)
"that happy hour I smell? CALDERÓN: Yes, Mr. Archer. Please join us."
Archer (2009)
"Your mother and I are drinking wine that belonged to Benjamin Franklin."
Archer (2009)
"MALORY: We are? CALDERÓN: And discussing a shipment of four American tanks."
Archer (2009)
"MALORY: Oh, tanks! ARCHER: Thanks. Tanks? MALORY: We do tanks!"
Archer (2009)
"We can do anything, as long as you're willing to pay. CALDERÓN: Me... me pay?"
Archer (2009)
"Mother. CALDERÓN: No, no, no, I'm sorry, I-I thought this was why"
Archer (2009)
"the CIA was buying my cocaine. To sell to the American black people, to make the money to buy"
Archer (2009)
"and let me handle this. Because the problem, Gustavo... CALDERÓN: Ooh."
Archer (2009)
"MALORY: I'm sorry, may I call you Gustavo? CALDERÓN: No."
Archer (2009)
"MALORY: The problem, Señor Presidente, the problem, you see, the problem is..."
Archer (2009)
"is the White House has lost faith in your ability to win this war!"
Archer (2009)
"CALDERÓN: Ooh. MALORY: And so, if you want any more weapons, you'll have to"
Archer (2009)
"CALDERÓN: No, no, but I cannot afford to do this! MALORY: Oh, please."
Archer (2009)
"Look at you, drinking Ben Franklin's wine like it's Kool-Aid, surrounded by"
Archer (2009)
"priceless art... Not this one obviously, but... CALDERÓN: Oh, no, this one"
Archer (2009)
"cost 40 millions. MALORY AND ARCHER: What?! CALDERÓN: Yes, it is an Ivan"
Archer (2009)
"very bold colors here, and then the thick black lines are coming here, always drawing the eye to"
Archer (2009)
"here, and then, over everything... just white. Just layer after layer after"
Archer (2009)
"layer of pure white. Until you can see nothing of the painting below."
Archer (2009)
"Not even with an infrared camera. MALORY: So... what's the"
Archer (2009)
"point? CALDERÓN: The point? What is the point of a beautiful"
Archer (2009)
"CALDERÓN: My wife. (Archer grunting)"
Archer (2009)
"MALORY: Sterling! Where are your manners? ARCHER: Probably in my room,"
Archer (2009)
"so I should go there right now and find them. CALDERÓN: No, no, no, no,"
Archer (2009)
"no, please stay. Mi amor, may I present to you Sterling Archer, and also his charming mother Malory."
Archer (2009)
"JULIANA: Oh. MALORY: I'm sorry, may I call you..."
Archer (2009)
"JULIANA: Exhausting. ARCHER: Mmm."
Archer (2009)
"JULIANA: So hot and sweaty. To be honest, I'm ARCHER: Mmm."
Archer (2009)
"really quite sore. CALDERÓN: You see?"
Archer (2009)
"This is why I disapprove. Juliana sometimes goes among the servants, pretending to be a"
Archer (2009)
"maid, or working in the laundry, even one time helping to carry some rocks?"
Archer (2009)
"see, Mr. Archer? ARCHER: You know, so much that... I-I'm gonna go write"
Archer (2009)
"may crush the rebel dogs. Did they tell you what is for dinner?"
Archer (2009)
"find an ice machine? PAM: Huh-uh. Ow, hang on... (groans)"
Archer (2009)
"CYRIL: Krieger says-- ow, hold on... ARCHER: Goddamn it!"
Archer (2009)
"CYRIL: Krieger says he saw a bunch of clones! ARCHER: Of what?"
Archer (2009)
"KRIEGER: Of me! We're running to find them. PAM: Wait, what?"
Archer (2009)
"I thought we were running away from them! ARCHER: Hang on, shut up,"
Archer (2009)
"PAM: Not without a bunch of garlic and some wooden stakes. KRIEGER: What...?"
Archer (2009)
"KRIEGER: What're you... we can't kill them! PAM: Well, not now."
Archer (2009)
"We wait till morning and then murder them in their coffins. Cyril?"
Archer (2009)
"Thoughts? CYRIL: I just really wish I hadn't come on this stupid trip."
Archer (2009)
"But since I did... KRIEGER: Taaaaanks! You jerks."
Archer (2009)
"(muffled scream) (Lana sighs) LANA: Don't even want to"
Archer (2009)
"know. ARCHER: Lana! Lana!"
Archer (2009)
"Oh, my God, you gotta help me! LANA: Oh, for the... there is no ice machine!"
Archer (2009)
"maybe not in the hall, but it's not like they make ice with trays."
Archer (2009)
"B)... LANA: "B" is hey, shut up, because I want to talk to you"
Archer (2009)
"pretty serious about, by the way, but right now I want to talk about this other thing"
Archer (2009)
"where I just banged Calderón's wife. Lana?"
Archer (2009)
"Why would you do that?! ARCHER: I... I'm sorry, do you mean where?"
Archer (2009)
"LANA: No, Archer, I mean why! What happened to no more anonymous sex?"
Archer (2009)
"LANA: Why would you think that?! ARCHER: I'm sorry, do you"
Archer (2009)
"mean why? LANA: Wh... Yes! Why?!"
Archer (2009)
"ARCHER: Uniform, towels, the usual maid stuff! LANA: The... whoa-whoa-whoa-"
Archer (2009)
"whoa, back up. What is your definition of anonymous sex?"
Archer (2009)
"ARCHER: I don't know, bird masks? LANA: What?"
Archer (2009)
"Or the ferry. Or in a port-a-john at the Preakness that time, but not"
Archer (2009)
"somebody who works directly for a president, I can tell you that."
Archer (2009)
"thorough vetting process for... that... you know... LANA: You done?"
Archer (2009)
"Here's my advice. (grunts, moans) Do with it as you will."
Archer (2009)
"(Archer moans, coughs) (groaning) CHERLENE: Hey, are you going"
Archer (2009)
"to this dinner? (retches) Or did you already eat..."
Archer (2009)
"crayons? JULIANA: Should we not just start?"
Archer (2009)
"(clears throat) CALDERÓN: Not until the guest of honor arrives."
Archer (2009)
"CALDERÓN: Okay, you sit there. Uh... you."
Archer (2009)
"Up. MALORY: I beg your pardon? CALDERÓN: Get up."
Archer (2009)
"Everyone, raise a glass, and join me to toast Cherlene! Because-- and I happen to know"
Archer (2009)
"(Malory shrieks) (others cheering) CYRIL: Yay!"
Archer (2009)
"CHERLENE: How? It came out, like, yesterday. CALDERÓN: Yes!"
Archer (2009)
"yesterday. CALDERÓN: And now it is platinum."
Archer (2009)
"A toast! CHERLENE: I just don't see how it's possible."
Archer (2009)
"(forklift beeping) (many forklifts beeping) CALDERÓN: It doesn't matter"
Archer (2009)
"out there, fighting those rebel dogs, far away! PAM: And plus that one right"
Archer (2009)
"there. COMANDANTE: Señor Presidente! The rebels have broken through"
Archer (2009)
"- Cherlenemania! - It's a mortar attack! - I know!"
Archer (2009)
"Cyril's obviously Anthony Michael Nerd. Mother, you're Paul Gleason."
Archer (2009)
"PAM: So, can we get out of the crate now? MALORY: No, but as it seems"
Archer (2009)
"to unidentified aircraft, you are now entering restricted San Marcos airspace."
Archer (2009)
"AIR TRAFFIC CONTROLLER: Beechcraft, please identify. RAY: Guys?"
Archer (2009)
"landing. LANA: Thank you for hearing my concerns."
Archer (2009)
"(shouting continues) LANA: Way to go, Gilligan. (gunshot)"
Archer (2009)
"CALDERÓN: Silencio! Who is in charge here? COMANDANTE: Señor Presidente,"
Archer (2009)
"(chuckles) ARCHER: I lied. I mean, yes, eight."
Archer (2009)
"A freshly squeezed juice, a cocktail, a sandwich of your own choosing?"
Archer (2009)
"(door opens) Whoa, whoa, uh, uh, oh, I ju... oh, ah, I just... (chuckles)"
Archer (2009)
"PAM: No ice machine. (Cherlene screams) CHERLENE: No towel machine?!"
Archer (2009)
"Wait, are we still in New York, or...? CYRIL: What?"
Archer (2009)
"MALORY: Good, then it's settled. ARCHER: If you say so,"
Archer (2009)
"JULIANA: Juliana Calderón. MALORY: A pleasure to meet you, Juliana."
Archer (2009)
"about it in my art journal! CALDERÓN: She is going to bring us some tanks, so that we"
Archer (2009)
"gotta stitch... oh... ARCHER: Damn it, I don't have time for... wait, Pam, did you"
Archer (2009)
"They're clones, not vampires! PAM: It doesn't matter to the stake!"
Archer (2009)
"I mean, we're talking major security clearance, so you got to assume there's a pretty"
Archer (2009)
"CHERLENE: Woooooo-hoo! (Calderón gasps) CALDERÓN: Yes, yes, yes, yes,"
Archer (2009)
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