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Clips from Peep Show - Wedding (S04E04)

"I'm not sick but I'm not well"
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"'How do I feel? Empty? Check. Scared? Check."
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"'Very funny."
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"I'm so glad I didn't attend almost any of it."
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"Did you slink off to bed before we did the melon-off?"
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"first melon to fall off loses."
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"One brown, one white. White's the pudding, yeah?"
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"but how about a cream cracker and a Ryvita?"
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"- A cream cracker and a Ryvita? - Bit the same."
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"- Really? - Well..."
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"really does that sort of thing, but I would, if you wanted."
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"Hey, Nance, how was the sofa?"
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"but I told him where to get off."
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"So, looking forward to the wedding?"
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"Oh, right. Listen, Mark, I'm gonna have to miss it, I'm sorry."
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"Oh, shit, I forgot we got married."
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"My dad's just in town, he wants me to move back to the States."
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"Right, so, listen, Mark, you must be so excited?"
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"It's such a big commitment."
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"What?"
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"The best man's speech, I need to fact check it."
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"Don't you see? None of this works, Mark."
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"BANG"
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"RETCHING"
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"Sorry, dude."
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"OK, so I thought I'd start with, "I will now do my best to give Mark"
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"It does not sound like you're going to attack her."
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"Jeremy, he's by my cummerbund. Pull over immediately!"
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"Right, so me, hat and shoes. You, speech."
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"You're really doing this, aren't you, you maniac?"
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"'not like I was marching to the gulag for an undetermined crime.'"
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"'God, look at her. I would break my own fingers"
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"'Might as well ask.'"
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"You probably don't want to, I just thought I'd check."
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"'How can I buy some time?"
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"'No badgers."
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"You could have had my legs off, you piss kidney."
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"Are you OK?"
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"OK, right. That is maybe a sign that everything isn't totally groovy."
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"I shouldn't marry Sophie, I should call it off."
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"Brilliant! Let's call this mother off, the old dude brothers are back."
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"God, no, no, it's not a jilting. I'm gonna tell her right away."
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"Hello."
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"- Jez, wrong way, mate. - Oh, it's a short cut."
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"We're just making a little detour."
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"Just tell her on the phone."
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"We're going to Nancy's."
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"You'll get us killed for the sake of your legacy. Stop it!"
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"No, of course not."
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"Yeah, I'm glad we've cleared the air."
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"So, here we are, the House of Pain."
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"Nancy's coming after all - Super Hans is giving her a lift!"
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"Count the kisses, Mark. She's happy and she wants to kiss me, four times."
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"OK, I promise. Release the gold."
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"You're my best friend and you copped off with my fiancee?"
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"You lovely bastard! This is dynamite!"
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"Well, I thought you might be angry."
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"Look, I am very sorry."
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"You're not just saying this,"
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"you wouldn't just make this up, would you, to try and keep me happy?"
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"- I just need to see her. - You can't see the bride!"
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"It's bad luck."
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"Maybe I can sort it out."
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"We had a snog. I mean, these things happen, Penny."
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"Would that have been so very hard?"
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"I don't know,"
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"I don't wanna end up on my own, like Miss Haversham,"
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"There are strong arguments on both sides."
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"I think we should leave a note and get the fuck out."
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"I just don't know, Jez."
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"Yeah, well, you need to decide cos I'm going for a piss."
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"'He's gonna get married and never let me forget the kiss"
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"'and Sophie will never forgive me for telling him."
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"- Sophie's dad's coming! - Shit! Hide."
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"'Oh, "Hold it in," he says. This is like a Japanese game show."
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"CHURCH ORGAN PLAYS"
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"God, I am dying for a piss."
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"It's like someone's inflating a balloon full of urine inside me,"
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"We'd still be OK to go down there now, just."
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"Why still no lovely Nancy? Oh, fuck! Sophie!"
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"(Mark) Oh, my God. There she is. She looks so beautiful."
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"That's bullshit. I've got 73. Right. Shit, I need to sort this."
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"Cos, personally, I have no idea."
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"Do you know what? I think I might toss a coin."
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"Yes, exactly, best of three."
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"Great. Let's get out of here. I am busting."
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"- No, I'm not getting married. - You're over-ruling the coin?"
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"when it told me to marry makes me think I definitely shouldn't."
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"A text?"
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"I'm eating chips and mayonnaise. I'm on the edge."
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"Maybe we'll have a wedding in a couple of weeks, but I'm on the edge, stress that."
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"You want me to send all that to everyone?"
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"Let me piss in that prayer bucket."
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"OK, I'm gonna creep up to the bucket."
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"You're telling me to piss myself?"
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"Yes, piss yourself."
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"When are you gonna stop?"
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"Oh, "Piss yourself. Stop pissing yourself." The floodgates are open."
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"Shit! >"
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"Oh, shit, shit! Oh, my god! This has gotta be a dream."
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"SHE SOBS"
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"'Hortensia!"
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"BOTH SOB"
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"'now and for the rest of our miserable lives.'"
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"Ow!"
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"IMITATES FOGHORN"
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"'OK, it's happened, he's gone."
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"'This is a disaster. I need to take stock."
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"'Oh, fuck! '"
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"I just feel terrible. I feel like I've been shot in the stomach."
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"Don't say that, Sophs."
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"'a prostitute... just for the night?"
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"Are you OK, man?"
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"So, Nancy, did she not show up?"
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"Well, I suppose I should apologise for not letting you go and get her."
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"Just say you never met me"
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"Cos I'm in hell."
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"'OK, here we go, wedding day, I'm heading for a wedding."
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"'AIone? Check."
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"'Just another ordinary day. (Chuckles)"
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