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Clips from Scrubs - My Brother, Where Art Thou? (S03E03)

Not to me.

"Not to me."

Scrubs

- How are your chocolate chip flapjacks? - Good.

"- How are your chocolate chip flapjacks? - Good."

Scrubs

- More whipped cream, Christopher? - Bring it.

"- More whipped cream, Christopher? - Bring it."

Scrubs

Johnny, I know I don't say this nearly enough, but...

"Johnny, I know I don't say this nearly enough, but..."

Scrubs

I cannot afford to be suspended right now.

"I cannot afford to be suspended right now."

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- I'll have to resort to blackmail. - How we gonna blackmail Kelso?

"- I'll have to resort to blackmail. - How we gonna blackmail Kelso?"

Scrubs

Unless you take the fall, I tell Turk you're sleeping with someone.

"Unless you take the fall, I tell Turk you're sleeping with someone."

Scrubs

You saw nothing.

"You saw nothing."

Scrubs

Thanks for loaning me this shirt. I got compliments from the sisters.

"Thanks for loaning me this shirt. I got compliments from the sisters."

Scrubs

How many times I gotta tell you? Cracker: Bad.

"How many times I gotta tell you? Cracker: Bad."

Scrubs

You don't get it, man. Your family was there for you.

"You don't get it, man. Your family was there for you."

Scrubs

Kids of divorce swear they have the market cornered on family dysfunction.

"Kids of divorce swear they have the market cornered on family dysfunction."

Scrubs

Let me share a typical Thanksgiving at the Turk household.

"Let me share a typical Thanksgiving at the Turk household."

Scrubs

Mom yells at my sister for yelling at my grandmother,

"Mom yells at my sister for yelling at my grandmother,"

Scrubs

gives Dad attitude for using the word "black", referring to the turkey,

"gives Dad attitude for using the word "black", referring to the turkey,"

Scrubs

which got burnt when instead of turning the oven off,

"which got burnt when instead of turning the oven off,"

Scrubs

my bipolar Aunt Leslie tried to shove her head in it.

"my bipolar Aunt Leslie tried to shove her head in it."

Scrubs

But we kiss and we hug and we apologise for all the things we said,

"But we kiss and we hug and we apologise for all the things we said,"

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cos a month later we're gonna get together and do it again at Christmas.

"cos a month later we're gonna get together and do it again at Christmas."

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One nothing.

"One nothing."

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You're home now.

"You're home now."

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I paged Dr Kelso. Do you feel confident about this, Ted?

"I paged Dr Kelso. Do you feel confident about this, Ted?"

Scrubs

One, two, three. What a boy.

"One, two, three. What a boy."

Scrubs

Sir, about Nurse Espinoza and Dr Reid's suspensions,

"Sir, about Nurse Espinoza and Dr Reid's suspensions,"

Scrubs

there aren't any grounds to punish them for moonlighting.

"there aren't any grounds to punish them for moonlighting."

Scrubs

They weren't working with people, just animals.

"They weren't working with people, just animals."

Scrubs

Baxter, sit.

"Baxter, sit."

Scrubs

- Ted, you don't have to. - Shut up. I can win this.

"- Ted, you don't have to. - Shut up. I can win this."

Scrubs

Baxter, speak.

"Baxter, speak."

Scrubs

- Ted, speak. - Hello.

"- Ted, speak. - Hello."

Scrubs

Baxter, left foot.

"Baxter, left foot."

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Ted, left hand.

"Ted, left hand."

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- Left hand, Ted. - Hello.

"- Left hand, Ted. - Hello."

Scrubs

Baxter wins. He gets the desk. Baxter, go up.

"Baxter wins. He gets the desk. Baxter, go up."

Scrubs

- I'm waiting for my brother. - Isn't that perfect?

"- I'm waiting for my brother. - Isn't that perfect?"

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- Emergency room? - That way.

"- Emergency room? - That way."

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- So you taking off? - Yeah.

"- So you taking off? - Yeah."

Scrubs

I wanna apologise for everything I said.

"I wanna apologise for everything I said."

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- I really like having you around. - No, you don't.

"- I really like having you around. - No, you don't."

Scrubs

- Why are you here? - My boyfriend is in New Zealand.

"- Why are you here? - My boyfriend is in New Zealand."

Scrubs

If I don't moonlight, I'm never gonna see him.

"If I don't moonlight, I'm never gonna see him."

Scrubs

My wedding's costing twice as much as I thought, and I need the cash.

"My wedding's costing twice as much as I thought, and I need the cash."

Scrubs

Baxter won't get out of my chair.

"Baxter won't get out of my chair."

Scrubs

Even though we're understaffed and underpaid,

"Even though we're understaffed and underpaid,"

Scrubs

I've been working here for ten years.

"I've been working here for ten years."

Scrubs

All day long, all I hear is, "Carla, Carla, Carla."

"All day long, all I hear is, "Carla, Carla, Carla.""

Scrubs

Sir, what Carla is saying,

"Sir, what Carla is saying,"

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and not in any kind of crazy or rambling sort of way,

"and not in any kind of crazy or rambling sort of way,"

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is we work hard here, but it's not the only thing in our lives.

"is we work hard here, but it's not the only thing in our lives."

Scrubs

Get out of my office before I change my mind.

"Get out of my office before I change my mind."

Scrubs

For 25 years, we've been going through the motions.

"For 25 years, we've been going through the motions."

Scrubs

Once every few weeks we have sex, and then breakfast without saying a word.

"Once every few weeks we have sex, and then breakfast without saying a word."

Scrubs

I'm gonna take you to dinner and start telling you

"I'm gonna take you to dinner and start telling you"

Scrubs

all the things I haven't taken the time to say all these years.

"all the things I haven't taken the time to say all these years."

Scrubs

That was beautiful, sir.

"That was beautiful, sir."

Scrubs

Thanks, Ted. Call my wife. Tell her I won't be home tonight.

"Thanks, Ted. Call my wife. Tell her I won't be home tonight."

Scrubs

Here I'd been told you left. It made me happy.

"Here I'd been told you left. It made me happy."

Scrubs

You don't like me. People don't like me. You know why? I'm a screw-up.

"You don't like me. People don't like me. You know why? I'm a screw-up."

Scrubs

Always have been. Ever since we were kids.

"Always have been. Ever since we were kids."

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I had to walk Johnny to school first day every year.

"I had to walk Johnny to school first day every year."

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Boy, that's a great story. Really.

"Boy, that's a great story. Really."

Scrubs

And I'm sure you were a horrible big brother.

"And I'm sure you were a horrible big brother."

Scrubs

For instance, my father actually made the same mistake on his deathbed.

"For instance, my father actually made the same mistake on his deathbed."

Scrubs

Listen, no offence.

"Listen, no offence."

Scrubs

Yet somehow you've found a way to beat that out of him.

"Yet somehow you've found a way to beat that out of him."

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Johnny's never gonna look up to me.

"Johnny's never gonna look up to me."

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Ever. But he hangs on your every word.

"Ever. But he hangs on your every word."

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So I'm asking, I'm telling you, take that responsibility seriously,

"So I'm asking, I'm telling you, take that responsibility seriously,"

Scrubs

It was good seeing you, Dr Cox.

"It was good seeing you, Dr Cox."

Scrubs

Love can also give you courage.

"Love can also give you courage."

Scrubs

Mr Pickles, welcome back.

"Mr Pickles, welcome back."

Scrubs

I wouldn't trade it. What about you?

"I wouldn't trade it. What about you?"

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- Pickles. - Damn right, sir.

"- Pickles. - Damn right, sir."

Scrubs

As a doctor, it's important to make small talk.

"As a doctor, it's important to make small talk."

Scrubs

It's harder if your patient has dementia and can only say one word.

"It's harder if your patient has dementia and can only say one word."

Scrubs

Now for a thousand dollars and this bag of IV fluids,

"Now for a thousand dollars and this bag of IV fluids,"

Scrubs

guaranteed to make you feel like you're 190 again,

"guaranteed to make you feel like you're 190 again,"

Scrubs

what did Peter Piper pick a peck of?

"what did Peter Piper pick a peck of?"

Scrubs

- Pickles. - I'm sorry, Mr Bober.

"- Pickles. - I'm sorry, Mr Bober."

Scrubs

Newbie. Did I just walk in on you mocking an innocent patient?

"Newbie. Did I just walk in on you mocking an innocent patient?"

Scrubs

- Yes. - I've never felt closer to you.

"- Yes. - I've never felt closer to you."

Scrubs

The nursing home unload this gomer on us because they can't treat him.

"The nursing home unload this gomer on us because they can't treat him."

Scrubs

So we get his temperature below 100 and then turf him right back

"So we get his temperature below 100 and then turf him right back"

Scrubs

and robbing the bastards blind, they bounce him back to us.

"and robbing the bastards blind, they bounce him back to us."

Scrubs

I could just give you a hug. Of course I never would.

"I could just give you a hug. Of course I never would."

Scrubs

I could, but I never would. God save me.

"I could, but I never would. God save me."

Scrubs

- You know what I love? - What?

"- You know what I love? - What?"

Scrubs

I'm bummed out about Elliot. I just needed someone to talk to.

"I'm bummed out about Elliot. I just needed someone to talk to."

Scrubs

Boo-frickin-hoo. I'm glad you called.

"Boo-frickin-hoo. I'm glad you called."

Scrubs

Mom's getting remarried for the seventh time. This is such a hassle for me.

"Mom's getting remarried for the seventh time. This is such a hassle for me."

Scrubs

- This Mom thing doesn't bother you? - Yes, it's killing me.

"- This Mom thing doesn't bother you? - Yes, it's killing me."

Scrubs

- So much so that I have to go. - All right, buddy. I'll see you soon.

"- So much so that I have to go. - All right, buddy. I'll see you soon."

Scrubs

- Real soon. - Wait.

"- Real soon. - Wait."

Scrubs

- What's up, Dan? - Christopher.

"- What's up, Dan? - Christopher."

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- We have the makings of a dog pile. - Don't.

"- We have the makings of a dog pile. - Don't."

Scrubs

Sorry, dude. I gotta.

"Sorry, dude. I gotta."

Scrubs

I miss Sean. This long-distance thing is killing me.

"I miss Sean. This long-distance thing is killing me."

Scrubs

- Are you having phone sex? - Gross.

"- Are you having phone sex? - Gross."

Scrubs

Have you and Turk ever done it?

"Have you and Turk ever done it?"

Scrubs

Last year when he went home for the holidays I gave him a call.

"Last year when he went home for the holidays I gave him a call."

Scrubs

I'm not doing it here. That guy next door listens to everything I say.

"I'm not doing it here. That guy next door listens to everything I say."

Scrubs

Hi, sweetie. Are you naked?

"Hi, sweetie. Are you naked?"

Scrubs

Good. Now I'm at your chest and my tongue starts to...

"Good. Now I'm at your chest and my tongue starts to..."

Scrubs

Your nipples. Nipples, Sean. I'm licking your nipples.

"Your nipples. Nipples, Sean. I'm licking your nipples."

Scrubs

Look, Oliver.

"Look, Oliver."

Scrubs

I did not just drop a toothbrush in the toilet.

"I did not just drop a toothbrush in the toilet."

Scrubs

- Was it blue? - Yellow.

"- Was it blue? - Yellow."

Scrubs

- The audacity. - I know. But this is gonna be great.

"- The audacity. - I know. But this is gonna be great."

Scrubs

Like when I came down to see you guys in med school.

"Like when I came down to see you guys in med school."

Scrubs

Turk and I are working on our harmonizing.

"Turk and I are working on our harmonizing."

Scrubs

Don't put your skivvies in the freezer. My Popsicles taste like fabric softener.

"Don't put your skivvies in the freezer. My Popsicles taste like fabric softener."

Scrubs

Make sure you're dry, otherwise you get a "tongue on the flagpole" situation.

"Make sure you're dry, otherwise you get a "tongue on the flagpole" situation."

Scrubs

You were only born cos Mom bounced a cheque.

"You were only born cos Mom bounced a cheque."

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I guess you're only here because Mom wrecked the car.

"I guess you're only here because Mom wrecked the car."

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I've gotta scrape some cash together to see Sean.

"I've gotta scrape some cash together to see Sean."

Scrubs

It came to my attention that Dr Brogan here

"It came to my attention that Dr Brogan here"

Scrubs

If he were to kill someone there, great.

"If he were to kill someone there, great."

Scrubs

But if he were to make a mistake here because of how tired he was,

"But if he were to make a mistake here because of how tired he was,"

Scrubs

then my hospital would be liable.

"then my hospital would be liable."

Scrubs

So, Ted, why don't you tell everyone what my policy on moonlighting is?

"So, Ted, why don't you tell everyone what my policy on moonlighting is?"

Scrubs

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