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Clips from Modern Family - Pilot (S01E01)

"Come on!"
Modern Family
"¡Vamos, Manny! Kick it! Kick it!"
Modern Family
"Actually, no, I'm her husband."
Modern Family
"Hi."
Modern Family
"♪ Hey, hey Hey ♪♪"
Modern Family
"- Language! - They're only plastic BBs. It was an accident."
Modern Family
"And then- Oh, we gotta leave for that dinner thing at 5:00."
Modern Family
"Why do you have to do things like that?"
Modern Family
"Oh, yeah. 'Cause that's where you live, down here."
Modern Family
"But I live up here! Yeah, but you don't have to be so emotional all the time."
Modern Family
"But first I need to get my white shirt, the silk one."
Modern Family
"and declare your love for a 16-year-old,"
Modern Family
"where it retains nutrients- some sort of molecular physiology thing."
Modern Family
"Three. Okay."
Modern Family
"No, you're not. You're telling your family you adopted a baby, tonight."
Modern Family
"[Doorbell Rings] [Haley] Don't answer it! I'll get it!"
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"Yo. Yo."
Modern Family
"We'll be good."
Modern Family
"Hey, I'll give you 50 bucks not to do this."
Modern Family
"I'm 11 years old. What am I gonna do with money?"
Modern Family
"And I don't care what some jackass in a pair of ripped jeans thinks about me."
Modern Family
"I love you, and I don't care how old you are."
Modern Family
"So stop being a gloomy goose and stop being so hard on Manny."
Modern Family
"Lying on her bed, watching a movie."
Modern Family
"So, you know, if Haley got pregnant,"
Modern Family
"And I know you like to make trouble for your sister, but it's not gonna work this time."
Modern Family
"You know why? 'Cause your sister's a good girl."
Modern Family
"Uh, can you shut the door, please?"
Modern Family
"Actually, we're just gonna go ahead and leave that open."
Modern Family
"and the next you're lying underneath the air hockey table with your bra in your pocket."
Modern Family
"Would you get in the spirit of things? It's a celebration."
Modern Family
"Okay. Oh, hey- Phil."
Modern Family
"- So how was your trip? - It was good. It was good actually."
Modern Family
"But, um, about that, I- I have something that I need to tell you guys."
Modern Family
"- [Claire] Dad. - I hope he didn't embarrass you, Mom."
Modern Family
"Hey, where's Uncle Cameron? Thank you. Thank you."
Modern Family
"Her name is Lily. Oh."
Modern Family
"But, uh, what do I know?"
Modern Family
"Been trying all my life to get it right. I'm still screwing up."
Modern Family
"Well, it's- it's supposed to sound better in Spanish."
Modern Family
"I mean, I'd probably want to go, like, two out of three and just see what happens there, but-"
Modern Family
"[Claire] Kids, breakfast!"
Modern Family
"Kids? [Sighs] Phil, would you get them? [Video Game Sounds]"
Modern Family
"Yeah. Just a sec."
Modern Family
"Kids!"
Modern Family
"That is- Okay."
Modern Family
"Kids? Get down here!"
Modern Family
"Why are you guys yelling at us when we're way upstairs?"
Modern Family
"Just text me. All right. That's not gonna happen."
Modern Family
"And, wow! You're not wearing that outfit."
Modern Family
"What's wrong with it? Honey, do you have anything to say to your daughter..."
Modern Family
"about her skirt? Sorry."
Modern Family
"- Oh, yeah. That looks really cute, sweetheart. - Thanks."
Modern Family
"No. It's way too short. People know you're a girl. You don't need to prove it to them."
Modern Family
"Luke got his head stuck in the banister again."
Modern Family
"I got it. Where's the baby oil?"
Modern Family
"It's on our bedside tab- I don't know. Find it."
Modern Family
"I was out of control growing up."
Modern Family
"There, you know? I said it."
Modern Family
"I-I just don't want my kids..."
Modern Family
"to make the same bad mistakes I made."
Modern Family
"I-If Haley never wakes up on a beach in Florida, half-naked,"
Modern Family
"I've done my job."
Modern Family
"Our job. Right."
Modern Family
"I've done our job."
Modern Family
"Don't let him- Kick it!"
Modern Family
"Manny, go! ¡A la derecha! ¡A la derecha!"
Modern Family
"No! No, no."
Modern Family
"- He tripped him, Jay. Where's the penalty? - [Whistle Blows]"
Modern Family
"Gloria, they're 0 and 6. Let's take it down a notch."
Modern Family
"[Chuckles] We're very different."
Modern Family
"Jay's from the city."
Modern Family
"He has a big business."
Modern Family
"I come from a small village."
Modern Family
"Very poor but very, very beautiful."
Modern Family
"It's the number one village in all Colombia for all the-"
Modern Family
"What's the word?"
Modern Family
"Murders. Yes. The murders."
Modern Family
"Manny, stop him!"
Modern Family
"Stop him! You can do it!"
Modern Family
"[Boy] Damn it, Manny!"
Modern Family
"Come on, Coach. You gotta take that kid out."
Modern Family
"You wanna take him out? How about I take you out?"
Modern Family
"- Honey, honey. - Why don't you worry about your son?"
Modern Family
"He spent the first half with his hand in his pants!"
Modern Family
"[Mouths Word]"
Modern Family
"I've wanted to tell her off for the last six weeks."
Modern Family
"I'm Josh. Ryan's dad."
Modern Family
"Hi, I'm Gloria Pritchett. Manny's mother."
Modern Family
"- Oh, and this must be your dad. - Her dad?"
Modern Family
"Yeah. No, no. That's funny."
Modern Family
"Don't be fooled by the, uh-"
Modern Family
"Give me a second here."
Modern Family
"Who is a good girl? Who's that?"
Modern Family
"Who's that?"
Modern Family
"- Oh, she's adorable. - Oh, thank you."
Modern Family
"Hi, precious. Hello."
Modern Family
"[Blows Raspberry] Hi. Hi."
Modern Family
"Uh, we just, uh- We just adopted her from Vietnam."
Modern Family
"And we're bringing her home for the first time, huh?"
Modern Family
"She's an angel. You and your wife must be thrilled."
Modern Family
"Sorry, sorry, sorry. Daddy needed snacks."
Modern Family
"[Grunts] So, what are we talking about?"
Modern Family
"Uh, we have been together for-"
Modern Family
"guh, five- five years now?"
Modern Family
"And, uh, we just- we decided we really wanted to have a baby."
Modern Family
"So, we had initially asked one of our lesbian friends to be a surrogate, but-"
Modern Family
"Then we figured, they're already mean enough."
Modern Family
"Can you imagine one of 'em pregnant? Pregnant, no."
Modern Family
"No, thank you. Ick."
Modern Family
"You saw that, right? Everybody fawning over Lily,"
Modern Family
"and then you walk on and suddenly it's all,"
Modern Family
""Ooh, SkyMall."
Modern Family
"I gotta buy a motorized tie rack.""
Modern Family
"All right, you know, I'm gonna give the speech. You are not giving the speech."
Modern Family
"You're gonna be stuck with these people for the next five hours."
Modern Family
"You're right, you're right. Okay. I'm sorry."
Modern Family
"- Look at that baby with those cream puffs. - Okay. Excuse me."
Modern Family
"Excuse me."
Modern Family
"This baby would have grown up in a crowded orphanage if it wasn't for us "cream puffs.""
Modern Family
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