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Clips from Veep - Baseball (S01E01)

"Ken, is this where I should be?"
Veep
"So if you could just move a little bit..."
Veep
"-Yeah, a little bit so we're not all on one side. -Just so we're not all on one side."
Veep
"-Let's get moving! -Let's get moving!"
Veep
"KEN: All right, how about another one?"
Veep
"Another one where we say, Awesome avocado!"
Veep
"Construction hit a gas main."
Veep
"There's a serious leak. Everybody must stay in here until it's made safe."
Veep
"Sorry. Because of the danger, we need everybody to stay in the room."
Veep
"We'll update you."
Veep
"Listen, but I can get out of here, right?"
Veep
"We're so excited about the Vice President's visit."
Veep
"Oh, we're very excited, too. Amy's practically having a baby about it."
Veep
"DAN: Hey, kids. Good afternoon."
Veep
"-Good afternoon. -Good afternoon."
Veep
"And we work for the Vice President of the United States of America."
Veep
"-Pretty cool, right? Yeah. -KIDS: Yay."
Veep
"Really? What position?"
Veep
"Trade Policy Executive."
Veep
"So he knows Roger Aldrige?"
Veep
"Uh... I don't know."
Veep
"Are you networking with an eight-year-old?"
Veep
"So..."
Veep
"Selina's gonna be delayed at least an hour."
Veep
"You'll be such a great dad."
Veep
"That's how I was raised."
Veep
"Sean, why don't we start with your question,"
Veep
"before you get the DTs and you can't write in your notebook?"
Veep
"SEAN: Can you brief on the new health initiative?"
Veep
"You its poster boy, Mikey?"
Veep
"You know, we were on the campaign trail and we saw a woman with a very large boy."
Veep
"And the Vice President turned to me and said,"
Veep
"Anybody else?"
Veep
"A source tells me that the VP shit-canned a Secret Service agent just for smiling at her."
Veep
"Can you give me a yes or no on that, please?"
Veep
"It was Paco Rabanne."
Veep
"I mean, this is not the '80s anymore, right?"
Veep
"Nobody wears that stuff. Sean might."
Veep
"You'd probably rather drink it, though. Right, Sean?"
Veep
"That's necessary. Thank you, yes."
Veep
"MIKE: I've seen you. SEAN: I'm a drunk."
Veep
"I believe you asked a boring question, Leon, and I gave a boring answer."
Veep
"That's like carbon offsetting."
Veep
"(ALL LAUGHING)"
Veep
"You understand my point?"
Veep
"You don't find it repugnant that Selina Meyer let a Secret Service agent go for smiling?"
Veep
"-MIKE: Repugnant? -Yes."
Veep
"Well, if we get trapped here another minute, I'm gonna kill you and eat you,"
Veep
"Hey, Jimmy fucking Olsen,"
Veep
"get lost before I shove that thing up your ass"
Veep
"What is going on out there with those two?"
Veep
"-Do you know? -Yeah, he's all pissed off."
Veep
"They've been complaining all day"
Veep
"-You can lip read? -Yeah."
Veep
"Could you lip read earlier when I was talking about you to Amy?"
Veep
"-Thank you. -Oh, sure."
Veep
"-Amy. -God, that is a lot of snot."
Veep
"I just wanna warn you, on top of everything else... Smile story."
Veep
"Can I get the pen cap, too? This came with a pen cap."
Veep
"Okay, I just wanna give you a heads-up, all right?"
Veep
"-Hi. -AMY: I have just had a phone call from Mike."
Veep
"He said that the press is saying you are pregnant."
Veep
"What are you talking about? Nobody knows."
Veep
"He said that Leon West"
Veep
"said that you're pregnant."
Veep
"I can't move my lips."
Veep
"Don't tell Gary."
Veep
"My dad needs a picture."
Veep
"Okay, I need you to get a pregnancy test for the Veep."
Veep
"Oh, my... Oh, my God."
Veep
"I can carry the baby around in a little sling or something like that."
Veep
"Indeed, and this is strictly need-to-know."
Veep
"Hey. So what's the intel on the baby?"
Veep
"ls Jonah the dad?"
Veep
"They're gonna be pulling that kid out of you in shifts."
Veep
"-Jonah? -Yes, ma'am."
Veep
"We gotta get rid of this whole prison-yard-vibe feeling."
Veep
"I forgot to find out something about the players."
Veep
"-I don't know what to say to them. -I can help you along."
Veep
"-You can be my Gary? -Yeah."
Veep
"Yeah. Give me their numbers."
Veep
"-I’ll go off that. -Hold on. Let me see."
Veep
"34."
Veep
"On his left is number 39, Tommy Hunter. He's a starting pitcher."
Veep
"-Wait, he's the starting pitcher? -Yes."
Veep
"The next gentleman... Oh, that’s Jim Palmer."
Veep
"Now, he's a hall of famer."
Veep
"-That guy's a legend. -Right."
Veep
"He's a starting pitcher as well."
Veep
"You don't have multiple starting pitchers."
Veep
"There's one pitcher's mound."
Veep
"You see one mound or three mounds?"
Veep
"-I see one mound. -That’s how you play baseball."
Veep
"You don't have any idea what you're talking about."
Veep
"Fucking idiot."
Veep
"-Honor to meet you, ma'am. -And you are Jake."
Veep
"-Yes, ma'am. -Oh, how nice."
Veep
"And you're the starting pitcher."
Veep
"Okay. Wonderful."
Veep
"-So you must be Tommy. -I am. I am."
Veep
"Are you a starting pitcher?"
Veep
"-I am, lam, lam. -You are a starting..."
Veep
"I'm with the team. My playas."
Veep
"I will get you that pic, man."
Veep
"I hope you get the result you're looking for."
Veep
"No, it's not for me."
Veep
"-It's my sister. -I'm sorry?"
Veep
"I just... Did you see that?"
Veep
"See what?"
Veep
"Okay, I just..."
Veep
"Is there any other stuff I should get for my sister?"
Veep
"Like, um, maternity underwear?"
Veep
"I do know, however, that the past few weeks she has been pretty busy. (CHUCKLES)"
Veep
"-I'd hold off on the maternity underwear. -Okay. Okay."
Veep
"-Thank you. -(CELL PHONE RINGING)"
Veep
"I've got the Treasury Secretary calling."
Veep
"Let me take this and I'm gonna be right back. I'm so sorry. Pardon me."
Veep
"Hello? Hello, Ted?"
Veep
"Hey. So are you looking for"
Veep
"-a little afternoon delight? -No."
Veep
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