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Clips from Night Court - Bull's Baby (S01E01)

"- What happened? - He fell asleep. Then he fell over."
Night Court
"How could anybody fall asleep standing on their feet like that?"
Night Court
"- He's out like a light. - You better check under him for survivors."
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"- Let's get him into your office. - We should cover him up."
Night Court
"- Oh, here. Use my coat. - No!"
Night Court
"Thanks for giving us a hand with Bull. We really needed the help. Thank you."
Night Court
"Thank you. Thanks a lot. Thank you. Thank you very much."
Night Court
"Thank you. You might wanna see a doctor about that. Thank you."
Night Court
"- What...? Where? - It's okay, Bull. You just fell asleep."
Night Court
"You're in my office. We're all here: Selma, Charlie, Liz..."
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"And Toto too."
Night Court
"Remember what he did to the candy machine?"
Night Court
"You guys need anything while we're out?"
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"- Are you all right? - Yeah, I'm fine."
Night Court
"Don't lie to me."
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"Come on. Not in front of everybody."
Night Court
"Bull, I know that your private life is just that: It's private."
Night Court
"But when you've got a problem interfering with your job..."
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"...l'd like to know what's wrong."
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"Listen, everybody. I appreciate your concern, I really do."
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"But it's something I don't wanna talk about now. Can't you understand that?"
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"Bull, it's true I don't know you very well..."
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"...and... Well, maybe it's not my place..."
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"...but I find that when I have a problem, sometimes it really lifts my spirits..."
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"...just to do something nice for myself..."
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"...like have a manicure, buy a new dress..."
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"...have my hair done."
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"I hate to keep pressing the point, but until I find out what's going on..."
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"...l'm afraid I might... - Bull? It's for you."
Night Court
"Your Honor, I can't! My baby needs me!"
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"If some girl got him in trouble, she's gonna answer to me."
Night Court
"I wonder which one is Bull's."
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"No, let me guess."
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"- Who is it? - Harry."
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"- Go away. - Open up before I kick it in."
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"I decorated it myself."
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"Very..."
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"- Bull. - He's right over here."
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"His name's Ernie."
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"You don't know where babies come from?"
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"- A friend's. - Bull."
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"- When was that? - Friday."
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"- Now look what you've done. - Come on. I didn't do anything."
Night Court
"You guys watch him, okay?"
Night Court
"I don't know nothing about watching no babies."
Night Court
"I'll go to the store. What do you need?"
Night Court
"Just some baby food. Assorted vegetables, fruits, that kind of thing."
Night Court
"- Bull, he's crying. - Perhaps he needs to be changed."
Night Court
"Yeah. That's it, all right."
Night Court
"- Then change him. - Oh, you gotta be kidding."
Night Court
"Guilt. Good move."
Night Court
"Okay, what's first?"
Night Court
"- Take off the soiled diaper. - Yeah, I saw that coming."
Night Court
"Okay, Ernie. I'm just gonna undo these pins..."
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"...and we'll..."
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"Oh, my God. I got it. I got it. I got it!"
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"- You all right, judge? - Yeah. What's next?"
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"See the Didie Wipes?"
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"- Yeah. - Take one."
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"What now?"
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"Clean the baby with it."
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"Powder his bottom, affix the new diaper, and you're done."
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"Powder his bottom..."
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"...affix the new diaper, and I'm done."
Night Court
"Okay."
Night Court
"Clean the baby."
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"Powder his bottom."
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"Oh, there you are. Okay."
Night Court
"Affix a new..."
Night Court
"Okay, Ernie. I think we got it here. One."
Night Court
"And two."
Night Court
"I haven't bought strained peas since 1966."
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"- Oh, yeah? Who was the little critter? - Dad."
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"Come on, little munchkin. Chow time."
Night Court
"Bull, we've gotta talk about that child."
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"- There's nothing to talk about. - Bull..."
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"- Get that, would you, Your Honor? - Yeah. Sure."
Night Court
"- Hi, gang. - I can't wait to see his bath towels."
Night Court
"That was five days ago, and she hasn't been back since."
Night Court
"- She abandoned it. - Right."
Night Court
"My, my. This is very nice."
Night Court
"Hey, would you look at this? He's got cable."
Night Court
"- What's the matter? - Your sofa's a little hard."
Night Court
"It's concrete."
Night Court
"He's got a 16-slice toaster out there."
Night Court
"- Where? - Over there, just left of the grain elevator."
Night Court
"Dan, please."
Night Court
"- The patio. - Yeah? Great view."
Night Court
"Close the door."
Night Court
"Bull, I'm afraid that Ernie is susceptible to more than just drafts."
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"Bull, you..."
Night Court
"You work in a courtroom. You see this all the time."
Night Court
"There are desperate, emotionally stressed people..."
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"...capable of doing things they would not do if they were healthy."
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"That goes for me too."
Night Court
"- What's that? - What's what?"
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"- I hear it too. - Is it thunder?"
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"That rumbling? That's just a train."
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"- Dan? - Did I mention the door sticks?"
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"Oh, Dan! Are you all right?!"
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"I think I swallowed my eyes."
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"No. They're still there."
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"- Bathroom. - Down the hall."
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"No, he's used to it."
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"- Yep. - Bull, Mary is not coming back."
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"And I know she's coming back."
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"All right. Suppose for a moment that she isn't. Then what?"
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"Then I..."
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"Then you'll what? You're gonna go on with this for 18 years?"
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"What do you want me to do?"
Night Court
"...I better get Mr. Boogee."
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"- Where is it? - Mary's place."
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"- I got a key to her apartment here. - Give it to me. I'll go."
Night Court
"Around the corner, number two. Mr. Boogee's in the playpen."
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"I'll be right back."
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"I'm going in the kitchen to have a cigarette."
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"- Dan, are you okay? - Yeah, I'm fine."
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"You have gotta see that tub."
Night Court
"Bull, the life preserver, that's for guests, right?"
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"Oh, no."
Night Court
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