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Clips from The Simpsons (1989) - I, Carumbus (S32E32)

"How am I supposed to make things clean without human waste?"
The Simpsons (1989)
"This business has been failing for years"
The Simpsons (1989)
"because you've been phoning it in."
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"Figure it out."
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"We came up with an idea that"
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"All you got to do is put these jugs outside of taverns,"
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"and you'll get your urinus gratis."
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"Crowdsourcing a streaming service, eh?"
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"- I'm a genius! - (all huff)"
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"♪ ♪"
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"CURATOR: Stealing the idea of his indentured friends,"
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"Obeseus was soon flush"
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"And he was able to move his family"
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"to the more prosperous side of town."
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"("Movin' on Up" playing in Latin)"
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"Lennus, I'm fatigued."
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"Yawn for me?"
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"(yawns loudly)"
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"How about making good on your promise,"
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"and freeing us now?"
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"Guys, guys, guys, thank you so much"
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"for bringing this up."
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"I'm really lucky to own friends like you."
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"Tell you what, I'll have my accountant"
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"crunch the letters, and we'll circle back."
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"The important thing is"
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"we started a conversation."
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"(all grumble)"
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"And now let us thank Lord Jupiter"
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"for a bountiful harvest by draining the blood"
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"of this baby goat."
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"Aw, these seats suck."
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"Can't even see the entrails from here."
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"Well, they save all the best seats for the senators."
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"(Homer whines)"
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"Hmm."
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"I don't know. It sounds like a lot of work."
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"Sitting there all day,"
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"listening, voting on stuff with my thumb."
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"But think of the perks."
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"You'll get invited to fancier orgies."
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"- The kinds with women. - They have those?"
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"CURATOR: And with that, Obeseus marched down the Appian Way"
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"to plead his case to the emperor,"
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"confident that he would be welcomed into the senate."
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"(laughs) The pee guy, a senator?"
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"That would be an insult to the dignity of this office."
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"Now if you'll excuse me, Senator Horse and I"
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"are going shopping for lewd pottery."
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"Oh..."
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"Thinks he's great 'cause his bangs are so curly."
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"Oh, Majora's gonna be so mad."
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"I'd do anything to be a senator."
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"Anything, eh?"
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"You know, as the emperor's politically adopted son,"
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"I am next in line to the throne should anything happen to..."
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"(chuckles) Daddy."
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"Like, say, him slipping and falling back‐first"
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"onto a knife."
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"Oh, that happened to me once. Sucked."
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"(groans) Kill the emperor and I'll make you a senator."
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"(gasps) Kill the emperor to become senator?"
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"But what's in it for me?"
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"CURATOR: Jacta alea est."
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"♪ You play as the Romans play together. ♪"
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"Hey, get out of here, you."
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"This is my private vomitorium"
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"and I've got a belly full of hot figs. (heaves)"
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"- (groans) - Come on, you figs. (heaves)"
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"Et... tu... pee guy?"
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"‐(grunts) ‐(whimpers)"
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"(laughs) History rules!"
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"Poor Majora."
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"She wanted her husband to be more ambitious,"
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"but not like this."
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"Well, actually..."
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"Mm‐hmm. (exclaims)"
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"Give me a kiss, you big, stabby go‐getter."
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"CURATOR: Over the next ten years,"
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"Senator Obeseus' power grew vastly,"
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"as did his toga size."
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"And Majora reveled in the high status,"
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"hosting the town's elite"
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"at her lavish Saturnalia party."
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"(laughs) I love your holiday decorations."
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"It lets those pesky Christians know they aren't going to win"
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"the war on Saturnalia."
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"So, noble slaves,"
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"what gift do you desire from your benevolent master?"
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"Uh... our friggin' freedom."
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"Yeah, well, the thing about that is..."
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"Why do we even bother asking anymore?"
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"He's never gonna free us."
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"This has been building up for a while:"
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"you give slave owners a bad name."
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"- (sighs) What a giant jerk. - Ugh, he's the worst."
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"Dad, Bartigula's out of control."
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"Look what he's doing to Ptolemaic Book Guy."
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"- Ow. - Why are you flaying yourself?"
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"- Ow! - Why are you flaying yourself?"
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"An interesting paradox."
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"For does free will truly exist or... Ow!"
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"Growing up rich and spoiled"
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"has turned your son into a monster."
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"It's not my fault."
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"I never spend any time with him."
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"Aw."
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"My son's a maniac. My daughter's not a son."
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"My slaves hate me for some reason."
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"(sighs) Heavy lies the head"
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"Mm."
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"Just gonna take a bath in warm donkey milk and go to sleep."
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"I can't believe the emperor didn't even come to my party."
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"He wouldn't even be emperor if not for you."
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"Yeah, well, what do you want me to do about it‐‐"
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"kill the emperor?"
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"Well, if that's what you want."
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"You can even use the present I got you."
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"Sweet jumpin' Jupiter!"
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"What more do you want?"
The Simpsons (1989)
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