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Clips from How I Met Your Mother - The Pre-Nup (S08E08)

"Just if it shows up at the weekly Weigh-in."
How I Met Your Mother
"See, you can't do that."
How I Met Your Mother
"“Ms. Garvey must invent 12 new sexual positions per year..."
How I Met Your Mother
"at least 'lo of which involve her doing all or most of the work. ”"
How I Met Your Mother
"“Ms. Garvey's breasts must be enhanced..."
How I Met Your Mother
"- That's actually not bad. - I'll allow it."
How I Met Your Mother
"That's repulsive."
How I Met Your Mother
"And, sidebar, why do men think Women like to be honka-honka-ed?"
How I Met Your Mother
"What Woman wants her breasts squeezed like a seal horn?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Um, totally."
How I Met Your Mother
"Lily like-a like-a the honka-honka."
How I Met Your Mother
"Hey, you're gonna be thanking me..."
How I Met Your Mother
"for that hair loss during the Weigh-in."
How I Met Your Mother
"“Ms. Garveys parents may stay at our place as long as they like.”"
How I Met Your Mother
"Well, at least that ones nice."
How I Met Your Mother
"“Provided they each arrive in an urn.”"
How I Met Your Mother
"- “Wives two through eight will make a weekly chore wheel.” - Oh, sorry."
How I Met Your Mother
"I borrowed a few sections from a prenup I did for a Saudi Arabian sultan."
How I Met Your Mother
"I'll cross out the “extra wives” stuff."
How I Met Your Mother
"- Unless- - Cross it out."
How I Met Your Mother
"Just a healthy, modern-day marriage..."
How I Met Your Mother
"Ready for your Wake-up lap dance, master?"
How I Met Your Mother
"- Aren't you forgetting something? - [ Gasps ]"
How I Met Your Mother
"Oh, my God. it's 9:00 am."
How I Met Your Mother
"Legally mandated morning pillow-fight time!"
How I Met Your Mother
"[All Chanting] Best husband ever!"
How I Met Your Mother
"Best husband ever. Ow!"
How I Met Your Mother
"Best husband ev-"
How I Met Your Mother
"Sorry. Sorry. We crossed out the “Wives two through eight” stuff."
How I Met Your Mother
"- Unless- - Nope."
How I Met Your Mother
"- Okay. - Don't worry. I crossed it out."
How I Met Your Mother
"- I didn't really cross it out. - I can hear you."
How I Met Your Mother
"I'll cross it out."
How I Met Your Mother
"[ Stammers ]"
How I Met Your Mother
"Hey, guys. Whats up?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Oh, Quinn's pissed because Barney wants her to sign a crazy prenup."
How I Met Your Mother
"- [ Marshall, Ted ] Yes. - I'm new to this, but guessing yes."
How I Met Your Mother
"Okay, look."
How I Met Your Mother
"Did I go a speck of sand, a fairy eyelash, a unicorn whisper too far?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Perhaps."
How I Met Your Mother
"But can you tell me there's nothing..."
How I Met Your Mother
"in any of your relationships you'd Want to change?"
How I Met Your Mother
"No behavior you'd Want to outlaw?"
How I Met Your Mother
"No terms you'd Want to renegotiate?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Look me in the eye and tell me I'm crazy."
How I Met Your Mother
"[ Together ] You're crazy."
How I Met Your Mother
"[ Ted Narrating ] But a funny thigh happened that night"
How I Met Your Mother
"[All Chattering ]"
How I Met Your Mother
"Look, I'm not saying he's right, but Barney does have a little bit of a point."
How I Met Your Mother
"But on this one, he may have a point. I mean, look."
How I Met Your Mother
"The idea of renegotiating the terms of the relationship, that's valid."
How I Met Your Mother
"[Chuckling ] No. There isn't anything about you that I'd wanna change."
How I Met Your Mother
"Well, okay, maybe a couple of things."
How I Met Your Mother
"[ Women, Together] Like What?"
How I Met Your Mother
"[ Ted Narrating ] And just like that..."
How I Met Your Mother
"one of these four couples would break up the very next day"
How I Met Your Mother
"Okay, it wasn't Lily and Marshall"
How I Met Your Mother
"One of these three couples would break up the very next day"
How I Met Your Mother
"- What happened? - [ Groans ]"
How I Met Your Mother
"of the blah-blah-blah and the blah-blah-blah.”"
How I Met Your Mother
"And Marshall was all like, “Huh."
How I Met Your Mother
"I wanna blah of the blah of the blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.”"
How I Met Your Mother
"I'm just saying you've forbidden certain things that I might like to revisit."
How I Met Your Mother
"Marshall, you are not going on a Sasquatch hunt in Oregon with a bunch of loonies."
How I Met Your Mother
"Loonies?"
How I Met Your Mother
"You're too precious with the baby."
How I Met Your Mother
"Welcome home, buddy."
How I Met Your Mother
"Was it really that high?"
How I Met Your Mother
"I don't know. I was hormonal."
How I Met Your Mother
"And suddenly, this primal, protective-mother voice came out of me."
How I Met Your Mother
"I seriously think one was coming from my vagina."
How I Met Your Mother
"[ Distorted Voice ] Never do that again."
How I Met Your Mother
"Whoa, whoa, Whoa. What is the big deal?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Welcome home, Marshall."
How I Met Your Mother
"Hi."
How I Met Your Mother
"Boys, go long."
How I Met Your Mother
"- [ Baby Laughs] - [ Boys Laughing]"
How I Met Your Mother
"Stop! Not in the house."
How I Met Your Mother
"That's how lamps break."
How I Met Your Mother
"Now go pass that baby around outside."
How I Met Your Mother
"And I turned out perfectly fine."
How I Met Your Mother
"Marshall, this morning you thought a ghost made your toast."
How I Met Your Mother
"I didn't put the bread in."
How I Met Your Mother
"You didn't put the bread in."
How I Met Your Mother
"And you know What else?"
How I Met Your Mother
"You can honka-honka yourself tonight."
How I Met Your Mother
"Okay, uh, What behavior of mine don't you like?"
How I Met Your Mother
"I'm talking about the TV thing."
How I Met Your Mother
"Okay. The TV thing is an argument from, like, three Weeks ago."
How I Met Your Mother
"[Cooing Chuckling]"
How I Met Your Mother
"Didn't realize it takes 42 inches to keep you satisfied."
How I Met Your Mother
"The TV happened to be on."
How I Met Your Mother
"I happened to glance at it. Does that make me so weird?"
How I Met Your Mother
"- No. - Not at all."
How I Met Your Mother
"Thank you."
How I Met Your Mother
"I get turned on watching myself do the news during sex."
How I Met Your Mother
"Yeah, that's a little Weird."
How I Met Your Mother
"Look, seeing myself on TV makes me feel confident and sexy..."
How I Met Your Mother
"and that is nothing to be ashamed of."
How I Met Your Mother
"Right, sisters? [ Chuckles ]"
How I Met Your Mother
"- Never speak of this. - Ever."
How I Met Your Mother
"Yes. Of course. Yeah."
How I Met Your Mother
"There's more."
How I Met Your Mother
"[ TV: No Audio]"
How I Met Your Mother
"Wait. So when you're doing the news live at 7:00..."
How I Met Your Mother
"you wink to future you watching the rebroadcast at 11:00?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Maybe."
How I Met Your Mother
"- Never speak of this. - Ever."
How I Met Your Mother
"You said you were happy to help him out."
How I Met Your Mother
"Well, now I'm changing my mind."
How I Met Your Mother
"Sorry to interrupt, roomie, but I'm trying to make sausage."
How I Met Your Mother
"Where do you keep your pig intestines?"
How I Met Your Mother
"What's your ex-fiancé doing at Teds?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Since we broke up, he lost his job."
How I Met Your Mother
"If could just take a quick whore's bath in your kitchen sink..."
How I Met Your Mother
"then I will skedaddle."
How I Met Your Mother
"Shh."
How I Met Your Mother
"Think of this as our apartment."
How I Met Your Mother
"Ah, danke schon, roomie."
How I Met Your Mother
"I will go and get my things. Das ist super duper, duper."
How I Met Your Mother
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