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Clips from The Simpsons - Tales from the Public Domain (S13E13)

"D'oh!"
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"That minivan had the biggest cup holders."
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""to destroy the Trojans once and for all. ""
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"this war has gone on for too long."
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"they'll think of Trojans."
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"What are you laughing at, Dad?"
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"Anyway, "As night fell, the Greek soldiers crept from the wooden horse. ""
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"Remember, just 'cause their heads are off, it don't mean they're dead."
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"No sacrifice? We'll teach that mortal to trifle with the gods."
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""Greece" is the word."
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"Is it "vase" or "vase"?"
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"Our hot sex Will leave you perspiring"
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"The feta is cheesy The Sirens are easy"
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"On the island"
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"We'll sex you up"
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"Someone gouge my eyes!"
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"It's been so many years since I've seen your father."
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"I'll leave you guys alone."
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"Out of the way, slim."
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"Yes. I've been saying that for hours."
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"It's not so easy."
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"Okay. It has been 20 years, and you suitors have been very patient."
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"Well, look who the fates dragged in."
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"Oh, I can't stay mad at you."
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"Brave Odysseus, it's been 20 long years."
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"It's never Joan Van Ark."
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"Morning bells are ringing. Morning bells are ringing."
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"And please bless Mama and Papa and Bartrand and Coco Chanel."
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"But I'm just a little girl."
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"No, un. You know, French for "one. ""
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"What's all this then? It's a little bird with a knife, isn't it?"
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"We welcome our savior, Joan of Arc."
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"Just because you keep saying it doesn't make it so."
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"Well, I never thought the two of you"
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"That was weird."
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"Don't burn her! She's just an innocent child!"
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"Don't worry, beloved parents. God won't let anything happen to me."
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"Of course they didn't, honey."
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"Well, that's easier to chew than that Bambi video."
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"And if your idea of a first date is burning down her village,"
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"Hey, nonny nonny, with a hoo and a haw, and a nonny nonny hey!"
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"I hide behind curtains 'cause I have a fear of getting stabbed."
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"I like revenging!"
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"I'm gonna kill Hamlet. Here's my mad face."
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"Booyah!"
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"Oh, boy!"
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"And now to celebrate life! Whoa! Bloody floor!"
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"The Simpsons"
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"Bill, bill..."
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"Bill. Homer, you got a letter. Hmm. It's from the library."
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"Overdue book? This is the biggest frame-up since O.J."
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"Wait a minute. Blood in the Bronco, the cuts on his hands,"
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"those Jay Leno monologues! Oh, my God! He did it!"
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"Here's the book."
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""Classics for Children"?"
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"Yeah. I checked that out when Bart was born."
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"I was gonna read to him every day."
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"What happened?"
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"Stuff kept coming up. Mostly car-related. Piece of crap."
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"Why don't you read to us now?"
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"I decide who reads and when!"
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"How about now? Mmm."
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"Homer's Odyssey. Is this about that minivan I rented once?"
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"No, Dad. It's an epic tale from ancient Greece."
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"And change slots for every coin, from penny to quarter."
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"Dad, I loved it, too, but it was seven years ago."
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"Fine."
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""It was the end of the Trojan War."
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""Clever Odysseus had come up with a plan"
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"Hi, odiddily-Odysseus!"
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"Stupid king of Troy."
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"I think I speak for all the Greeks when I say"
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"I'll say. I'd really like to go out and get the mail."
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"Anyway, over torture, one of your soldiers mentioned"
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"that you collect giant wooden animals."
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"We hope you don't have a horse."
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"Well, I don't have one from you."
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"Bring it in!"
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"Trojans."
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"If I'm laughing at what I think I am, it's very funny."
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"Aw, look at them. Sleeping like little angels."
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"Now I can return to Ithaca and my sweet wife, Penelope."
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"Odysseus, do not forget to thank the gods for our victory"
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"with an appropriate animal sacrifice."
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"Forget it!"
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"Sacrificing animals is barbaric."
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"Now have the slaves kill the wounded."
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"I got it."
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"You fat lush. You just destroyed Atlantis."
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"You used to be fun."
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"Where's the Zeus who used to turn into a cow"
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"and pick up chicks?"
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"He grew up. Maybe you should, too."
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"Poseidon, you take care of Odysseus."
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"Yarr. I'll send him far. Off course."
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"You gonna be asking that the whole trip?"
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"Gentlemen, I must be wasted,"
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"'cause it looks like that cloud is mad at me."
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"Yarr!"
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"Yarr!"
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"It's coming from that island. Let's steer heedlessly towards it."
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"Heedlessly it is."
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"Boy, if they kiss as good as they lure, wow!"
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"Island of Sirens"
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"Oh, God! They're hideous!"
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"Save me from the ladies!"
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"I hope he's still the magnificent"
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"physical specimen he was when he left."
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"Mom, maybe it's time to choose a suitor."
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"Discus Stu was talking to you."
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"Oh, where could your father be?"
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"Almost home."
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"Ain't I a stinker?"
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"Welcome to my island. I am Circe, the sorceress."
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"You must be thirsty. Drink from my cauldron."
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"Well, I was in the mood for something bubbling."
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"Thanks for your help with the anchor, guys. Guys?"
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"That pig looks like Lenny."
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"Hey!"
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"Mmm. That's the next best thing to eating Lenny."
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