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Clips from The Big Bang Theory - The Septum Deviation (S08E08)

"This is an easy one. You love this guy."
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"Still think it's me."
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"How about this:"
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"Oh, Tesla."
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"- Hi. - Hey! - Hello."
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"The doctor shoved a camera up into my sinuses."
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"in Willy Wonka."
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"The surgery to correct it is simple."
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"Because I can't breathe."
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"but I've gotten used to it."
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"I believe it was your turn in the game."
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"his nose mutilated with elective surgery"
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"I'm not even sure if that's a person or a typo."
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"♪ That all started with a big bang ♪"
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"Okay, why?"
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"then why are you sitting here staring at me"
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"waiting for you to fall asleep?"
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"And if you die during surgery..."
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"Buddy, w... Do you realize that that also means"
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"I suppose that's true."
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"Damn, can you imagine"
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"Not anymore."
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"Then my dad said based on their"
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"Hey. What're you working on?"
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"Remember when I said if you went through"
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"Great timing."
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"I bought for you to do the dishes?"
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"For the same reason I don't wear the apron or the hair net."
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"Fine. What about epilepsy?"
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"and I-I appreciate that, but I'm not going to die."
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"You don't know that. Well..."
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"Tell you what-- the surgery's not for a week,"
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"guarantee your death."
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"Yes. Okay."
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"I-I understand."
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"they said they are."
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"Dude, my parents just split up."
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"What?! Uh, that was my dad on the phone."
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"I mean, if you're not up to it, we don't have to go out,"
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"And Sheldon really believes we're at a public swimming pool?"
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"He was so busy figuring out how many parts per million"
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"And he's still doing it."
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"Well, thank you."
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"without his swim shirt."
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"we had to cut him out of it."
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"You're acting odd. Why?"
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"I'm odd all the time, everyone knows that."
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"28. Come on."
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"Fifty-six."
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"Don't get upset, but..."
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"I see."
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"Take me to Leonard."
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"Just go to work, he'll be fine."
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"Fine."
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"I do."
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"And I wouldn't be able to forgive myself,"
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"if something happened to him and I wasn't at his bedside"
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"to say, “I told you so.”"
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"I assume this medical center's already treated"
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"the burns on your bottom from the recent pants fire."
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"'Cause I'm a liar, liar?"
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"You had to tell him?"
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"He has on extra baby powder today."
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"He's gonna be all right."
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"That's a good idea."
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"because he's feeling... blue berry."
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"I would be devastated if my parents split up."
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"Well, at least he stuck around,"
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"I think, over time, they started to resent each other,"
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"and the hate just grew."
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"Oh, it's nice you got him that."
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"Oh, this isn't for Leonard, no."
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"Stubbed his toe on the revolving door on the way in."
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"Okay, the reason he deceived you is"
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"Sheldon, it was just a little tremor."
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"into a frontal lobotomy."
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"Oh, I don't care for this at all."
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"just got me a little worried about us."
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"sometimes... you're too..."
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"Okay, okay."
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"what we loved about one another."
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"I want to do that."
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"Thank you."
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"See, I am."
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"I told you not to get the surgery."
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"and secondly, I didn't even want you there."
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"my nose or my heart."
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"Well, I'm done speaking to you."
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"Don't be like that."
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"The minute you sneeze web, I'm moving out."
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"I never thought I'd say these words,"
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"You were so panicked"
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"Yeah, once he figures out how to work a door."
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"I was not panicked, and I am not overly attached to Leonard."
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"You love me."
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"those aren't the words of a man"
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"with a spider eating its way through his brain."
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"Amy, you're a neuroscientist."
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"Crack his skull open, spray some Raid in there."
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"I love that you're too good to pee in the kitchen sink."
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"I was on the phone with my mother."
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"Oh, how is she?"
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"She bought the book Eat, Pray, Love"
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"and used it to set my father's Mercedes on fire."
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"So, what's up with you guys?"
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"He thought he was right, but his roommate knew better.""
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"Me."
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"Come on, he's an underappreciated genius."
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"It's not you."
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"Now think, there's a car named after him."
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"The Mini Cooper, 'cause it's me."
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"he's a poor man's Sheldon Cooper."
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"How'd it go? Oh, not fun."
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"Yeah, I watched. It was like the scary boat tunnel"
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"It's a deviated septum."
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"He's gonna do it next week."
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"Why would you have surgery?"
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"I snore, I get sinus infections..."
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"Yeah, back off, he's all mine."
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"But you don't have a life-threatening condition."
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