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Clips from Modern Family (2009) - The Late Show (S05E05)

"Someone's at the door."
Modern Family (2009)
"Luke, it's just your mom testing you."
Modern Family (2009)
"Don't worry, Mom. if I hear that while you're gone, I won't answer."
Modern Family (2009)
"I'll just hide where no one can find me."
Modern Family (2009)
"- Cam, come on. Let's go. - Two seconds."
Modern Family (2009)
"I thought that being with a man meant that I wouldn't have to wait around like this."
Modern Family (2009)
"I feel cheated. I do."
Modern Family (2009)
"Let's play dolls."
Modern Family (2009)
"Actually, I want to read you one of my favorite books."
Modern Family (2009)
"It's called Little Women, and it's about four sisters..."
Modern Family (2009)
"who overcome poverty and the patriarchy-"
Modern Family (2009)
"Nope! Dolls."
Modern Family (2009)
"This is Ashley. She's a wife."
Modern Family (2009)
"Well, I hope that's not the only thing that defines her."
Modern Family (2009)
"- Does she have a career? - Nope, she shops. Where's Haley?"
Modern Family (2009)
"How come it takes me five minutes to get ready, and you take forever?"
Modern Family (2009)
"Oh, please. I could get ready in five minutes too if I dressed like-"
Modern Family (2009)
"You did it again?"
Modern Family (2009)
"- Not changing. - Not changing."
Modern Family (2009)
"Fasten your seat belts. It's going to be a crazy night."
Modern Family (2009)
"No, honey. "it's gonna be a bumpy night.""
Modern Family (2009)
"Remember? You can't have two dads and make that mistake."
Modern Family (2009)
"- Bumpy night. - Okay, so how often does this happen?"
Modern Family (2009)
"- Too often. - Men just don't have that many options."
Modern Family (2009)
"I can't tell you the number of times I've walked by a women's boutique and just thought..."
Modern Family (2009)
""What I would do to have that many choices.""
Modern Family (2009)
"Don't ever say that again. I don't like any part of it."
Modern Family (2009)
"One of us has to change. We look like twin toddlers at church."
Modern Family (2009)
"Yeah, tell me about it. And this place we're going is supposed to be super hip."
Modern Family (2009)
"We're probably gonna run into someone."
Modern Family (2009)
"And come on. I don't have that many outfits."
Modern Family (2009)
"My clothes take up exactly one-quarter of the closet."
Modern Family (2009)
"That's not fair. My clothes are bigger than yours."
Modern Family (2009)
"I hate to play this card, but I was dressed first."
Modern Family (2009)
"Nope. I'm not doing this again. I can't."
Modern Family (2009)
"Fine. Alex."
Modern Family (2009)
"Uh, I don't know. Boys' clothes aren't really my thing."
Modern Family (2009)
"Really?"
Modern Family (2009)
"I don't get it. Doesn't the wine get the cow drunk?"
Modern Family (2009)
"- Thank you. - Honest to God."
Modern Family (2009)
"Have neither of you seen a cow? They're huge."
Modern Family (2009)
"I bet tequila would do it quicker."
Modern Family (2009)
"It's not the goal to get the cow drunk."
Modern Family (2009)
"You gotta be kidding me. Manny, see why your mother's taking so long."
Modern Family (2009)
"And don't tell her I sent you."
Modern Family (2009)
"- Mom, hurry! - Don't yell. I could have yelled."
Modern Family (2009)
"- Then why didn't you? - Because I didn't want to yell. I want you to go."
Modern Family (2009)
"- Why can't you go? - Why can't you do what I ask?"
Modern Family (2009)
"I'm trying to do something new here!"
Modern Family (2009)
"Stop yelling, Jay! I'm ready!"
Modern Family (2009)
"Oh, geez. Haley, Manny knows where all the baby stuff is..."
Modern Family (2009)
"and if Joe won't go to bed, just put on Gladys Knight and bounce him around a little bit."
Modern Family (2009)
"Oh, you still do that? I loved when you did that with us."
Modern Family (2009)
"How about that? Somebody in this family remembers a nice thing I did."
Modern Family (2009)
"You bought me this dress yesterday when you were working."
Modern Family (2009)
"- How do I look? - Gorgeous. Let's go."
Modern Family (2009)
"Well, "A," your hair looks amazing, like you just got off a horse."
Modern Family (2009)
"That's exactly what I was going for."
Modern Family (2009)
"- But if I had one thought- - Nope! No thoughts."
Modern Family (2009)
"Are those for sure the best earrings?"
Modern Family (2009)
"They seem to be kind of getting lost."
Modern Family (2009)
"- I have the same color in a bigger size. - How much bigger?"
Modern Family (2009)
"- Like a meter. - A meter? That's like a foot."
Modern Family (2009)
"- Actually, it's like a yard. - Oh, sorry- it's like a millimeter."
Modern Family (2009)
"- You mean a centimeter. - All this math. Just show me."
Modern Family (2009)
"Okay."
Modern Family (2009)
"- Gloria! - What?"
Modern Family (2009)
"I think the new earrings are really gonna tie your whole outfit together."
Modern Family (2009)
"You're so sweet."
Modern Family (2009)
"Wow. That was very mature of you."
Modern Family (2009)
"Yeah, well, I'm a lot older now than when she started getting dressed."
Modern Family (2009)
"That's the doorbell."
Modern Family (2009)
"That other sound was the smoke alarm."
Modern Family (2009)
"- Got it. - Okay, and if you're hungry, don't order a pizza."
Modern Family (2009)
"They don't screen those delivery guys."
Modern Family (2009)
"- Half of them are ex-cons. - Stop it. You're gonna scare him."
Modern Family (2009)
"- It's gonna be fine. - But if you do choke, you've gotta throw yourself..."
Modern Family (2009)
"- against the back of a chair to get the food out. - He'll just drink stuff."
Modern Family (2009)
"- Nothing from under the sink. - Even if it's lemony?"
Modern Family (2009)
"I'm just messing with you."
Modern Family (2009)
"In case of fire, go low and get out."
Modern Family (2009)
"- In case of earthquake- - Wait. You think there could be an earthquake?"
Modern Family (2009)
"Last time we had one, that big cabinet fell on me."
Modern Family (2009)
"- No, it didn't. - It did?"
Modern Family (2009)
"- Let's go. - Bye, honey. We love you. Do you have the keys?"
Modern Family (2009)
"We're gonna check in. I promise!"
Modern Family (2009)
"Uh, what's going on?"
Modern Family (2009)
"- New suit? - This old thing?"
Modern Family (2009)
"- Yes, it is. - Huh."
Modern Family (2009)
"I got it at this hipster place downtown."
Modern Family (2009)
"- You like it? - It's tight."
Modern Family (2009)
"Well, the salesman said it was the style..."
Modern Family (2009)
"and he looked like a Mumford & Son, so I think he'd know."
Modern Family (2009)
"Mmm. Let's go."
Modern Family (2009)
"Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down, FloJo."
Modern Family (2009)
"You know what? We don't have time for this. I'll just change."
Modern Family (2009)
"Well, now I feel bad. Let's both just change. That's the fair thing to do."
Modern Family (2009)
"Okay, fine. But quickly, please."
Modern Family (2009)
"Okay."
Modern Family (2009)
"Uh-"
Modern Family (2009)
"I don't know."
Modern Family (2009)
"It's blue."
Modern Family (2009)
"Yeah, this one's so yellow."
Modern Family (2009)
"Oh, you know what? I have a stain on this one. I can't wear it."
Modern Family (2009)
"Oh, paisley, yeah. I don't know."
Modern Family (2009)
"- Are you kidding me right now? - What?"
Modern Family (2009)
"I know this trick, Cam. You take forever to pick out an outfit..."
Modern Family (2009)
"knowing very well that I'll say, "Let's just go," because we're late."
Modern Family (2009)
"Meantime, you get credit for offering to change while I'm the one who actually does."
Modern Family (2009)
"- As usual. - Excuse me."
Modern Family (2009)
"- Are you accusing me of manipulating you to get my way? - Actually-"
Modern Family (2009)
"Because that's what my mother used to accuse me of..."
Modern Family (2009)
"and I gotta say that brings up a lot of stuff with me."
Modern Family (2009)
"- You're crying without tears. - Give me a minute."
Modern Family (2009)
""'Christmas won't be Christmas without any presents,' grumbled Jo."
Modern Family (2009)
"'It's so dreadful to be poor,' sighed"-"
Modern Family (2009)
"Stop. I hate this."
Modern Family (2009)
"Can I put makeup on you?"
Modern Family (2009)
"Why does everyone ask me that?"
Modern Family (2009)
"Let's just have a good time tonight, all right?"
Modern Family (2009)
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