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Clips from Curb Your Enthusiasm - The Black Swan (S07E07)

"( Yells in Spanish )"
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"I know they're good here."
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"Will you do me a favor and shut up about your food?"
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"- You can have fruit twice in one day. - You can't."
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"They have non-acidic fruit. You got papaya and mango and banana."
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"Hey, uh, what's that?"
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"- What do you think that is? - I don't know,"
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"We just buried the thing 20 minutes ago. They're not gonna find it already."
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"Oh no. Look."
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"Clubhouse!"
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"It was a bird. What were you so scared of?"
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"What could it have possibly done to you?"
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"- It could've killed me. - It's not a wild boar!"
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"You should've seen when it leaped in the air!"
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"( All clamoring )"
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"- ( Clamoring stops ) - Mr. Takahashi"
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"would like to see you all in his office now."
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"This is tee sheet."
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"and who did not play."
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"Only one other group played."
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"Course not crowded."
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"Respect for norm."
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"Why? You no respect norm?"
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"- No no, of course. - Absolutely."
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"Although he was a slow player."
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"What else you not respect?"
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"We adore swans!"
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"My beautiful black swan kyoko"
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"was killed, murdered."
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"Who killed kyoko?"
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"You. I don't know you."
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"If I may say, I think the food here is just great."
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"- I ordered some eggs with... - You kill swan?"
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"No, sir."
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"I'm from out of town. I have no reason to kill the swan."
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"- Thank you. - Yeah."
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"- You not kill swan. - Oh, no, sir."
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"But you know who kill swan."
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"- You like club? - I love this club."
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"You tell me, free dues."
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"No more dues."
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"- Valet parking? - Any time."
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"- Marty: Range balls? - All you want."
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"- You. - Hmm."
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"- You kill swan? - No, I'd never kill a swan."
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"- Why? You stupid. - I'm not stupid."
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"Yes. You marry big-mouth wife."
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"She does have a big mouth."
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"Yes, maybe I talk to her."
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"No, don't call her."
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"I don't even bring her around anymore out of respect."
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"Oh. Larry."
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"- How are you? - I'm good."
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"( Cell phone ringing )"
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"No cell phone in the clubhouse!"
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"Last warning!"
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"Now go! Go!"
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"- And tomorrow a funeral. - Oh my god."
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"Two days in a row. This is worse than playing behind him."
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"Anyway, I came in to thank you"
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"for your gracious offer for putting Skylar through college."
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"I mean, my wife and I were talking about it in bed last night."
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"And you know what Cassie said to me?"
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"She wants to go to cosmetology school."
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"So would you put her through cosmetology school?"
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"- What? - This is her calling."
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"Would I put her through cosmetology school?"
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"Oh my god, she was born to do this."
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"I have to say I'm very put off by this."
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"- Why? - I make this generous offer"
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"to pay for your daughter's education"
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"and now you want me to put your wife through cosmetology school?!"
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"- Yeah. - All of a sudden?"
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"No, I just think it's wrong."
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"- Don't you get that? - How irrational a man can you be?"
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"What's happening? You're saying no?"
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"- ( Stammers ) - yes, I'm saying no."
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"- She'd be perfect for it. - I thought I made my nice gesture"
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"- with your daughter. - We don't even know if Skylar's gonna go to college."
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"I'm not saying it wasn't a beautiful gesture,"
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"but who knows? She might be a drug addict."
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"I don't know what kind of people can do something like that."
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"What kind of people... you know what kind of people we're not?"
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"We're not the kind of people that kill swans."
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"We were in bed and we were... I was talking about that..."
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"I had to tell her, Larry."
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"Don't worry. She's not gonna say anything."
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"The two of you had better keep"
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"- Or what, Larry? Are you threatening me? - Yeah."
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"What are you gonna do? What will you do to me?"
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"- What can you do to me? - I'll open that closet door"
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"and take every one of those hats"
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"and destroy 'em."
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"The blue hat, the orange hat,"
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"You stop! You will not touch those hats!"
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"- I will destroy them. - You will not touch my hats!"
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"Keep your goddamn mouth shut!"
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"She will! You're not gonna ruin a hat."
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"And you! How dare you say something?!"
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"- Hey. - Hey, l.D."
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"I was just saying I feel so nostalgic."
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"- Well. - How's your dad?"
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"He's good. He's good."
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"Yeah, I'm changing the headstone."
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"Great. Great."
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"By the way, I was talking to the stonemason on the phone the other night?"
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"He butts in on a conversation that's none of his business,"
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"starts telling me how jeter's overrated."
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"What an ignorant moron."
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"Please, give me a break. There's not one person"
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"who's ever said that except this asshole."
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"Who are you?"
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"Ah."
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"What are you doing here?"
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"Did Marty's mom's headstone and his dad's headstone."
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"I hope I get to do yours real soon, prick."
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"See you later, Eddie."
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"Why didn't you tell me he was the stonemason?"
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"- Is that right? - Yeah."
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"What about your policy? No introductions."
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