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Clips from Curb Your Enthusiasm - The Black Swan (S07E07)

"No no, you said they were a stupid social convention."
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"So I'm hoisted on my own petard."
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"Exactly."
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"Hmm."
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"Where's Jeff?"
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"Oh, he said he was gonna be late."
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"Look, he sent me this email."
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"He wants me to come clean about the swan."
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"- I think it's a good idea. - No, it's not a good idea. Keep your mouth shut."
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"Man: Everyone, if I could have your attention?"
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"If you'll please take your seats,"
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"we're about to get started."
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"Thank you all for coming. As you know, the funeral is tomorrow,"
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"but we wanted to do something special today,"
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"and that's celebrate norm's life"
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"in a special memorial service."
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"His beloved club."
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"Norm loved nothing more than coming here"
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"( Cell phone ringing )"
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"Please turn off your cell phones and pagers."
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"- What what what? - You killed him, Larry."
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"Oh, no. In fact, I have a theory I'd like to present to you."
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"May I tell you my theory?"
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"Okay. I believe this is what happened:"
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"Norm had the heart attack on the 12th hole"
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"near the pond, am I right?"
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"- Yeah. - Okay."
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"I think he was attacked by the black swan."
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"He's dead now. He was very much alive"
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"at the time norm had the heart attack"
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"Here, the two of them over here."
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"I had nothing to do with it. I'm on my way to the locker room."
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"I'm here. I'm over here."
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"Here's norm and the swan."
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"Here's norm. Kyoko the crazy black swan."
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"That's why norm died."
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"That black swan was a menace."
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"They should've put that swan away a long time ago."
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"I don't know who killed that black swan,"
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"A hero."
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"Ah, Mr. David, I believe this is yours."
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"Yeah."
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"That's some BlackBerry you got here. This wheel is amazing."
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"You can really just scroll right through those emails, huh?"
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"Yeah."
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"- Thanks. - It's always a pleasure serving you, sir."
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"There's no doubt that he read your email about the swan killing."
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"He's gonna tell Takahashi. We're screwed."
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"We're all screwed, there's no doubt about it."
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"There's, uh... there's an 18% gratuity included."
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"So..."
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"- That's a shakedown. - That's a shakedown."
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"This is as clear as can be."
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"I'll take care of this."
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"- All set? - Mm-hmm."
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"Great. We'll see you."
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"Is this, uh..."
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"Is this for real?"
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"Oh yeah."
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"Yeah, that's for real."
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"Mr. David, thank you so much."
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"- You're welcome. - This is so generous."
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"And let's... let's keep this between the two of us."
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"- No problem. - You know, like everything else."
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"Yeah. Yeah, like everything else."
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"You know, like everything... Everything else."
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"What a generous guy."
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"I don't think he knew what the fuck you were talking about."
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"He had the heart attack right by the pond. It was the swan."
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"Think about it. It's a theory."
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"Anyway, it was a lovely service. I'll see you at the club."
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"Larry, I'd like talk to you."
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"I heard about your big additional tip to waiter."
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"Such generosity."
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"You know, most people don't give additional tip."
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"Now I know a man so generous"
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"could not have killed my black swan, my kyoko."
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"Of course I didn't kill kyoko."
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"I was trying to tell you that."
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"You forgive me?"
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"Okay."
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"- I'll forgive you. - Thank you."
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"Lost a little face, didn't you?"
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"A little... oh, a lot. I lost a lot of face."
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"- Got your face back? - Yes yes yes."
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"- Oh, you going to car? - Actually, I'm going to see my mother's gravestone,"
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"but it's on the way to the parking lot."
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"- We walk together. - Let us walk together."
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"After you, sir. After you."
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"I have a couple things I wanted to discuss with you actually."
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"Let's get rid of that additional tip in the dining room."
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"Nobody wants to sit and do math after they eat to figure out"
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"- and additional tip. - No math."
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"Make it a 20% flat... Make it 25%."
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"- Yes, 25%. - 25%."
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"- Huh? You like that? - I love it."
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"- Okay, Mr. Takahashi. - I like that."
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"Last time you leave a big tip"
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"it always go to the waiter."
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"- All right, you take care. - Bye bye!"
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"Okay."
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"I can't talk here. I'm in the dining room."
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"No cell phone in dining room. Club rule."
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"You can't hold up the whole course like this! Let us play through!"
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"What did you hear? Tell me what you heard."
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"- Andy: Seriously?! - Yeah. Come on, pick it up."
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"I want to throw up. We should get out of here."
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"I mean, have you ever... what she does..."
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"That's the kind of people. We don't kill swans."
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"What an asshole this guy is."
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"I'd like the same thing... egg whites with lox and well-done onions."
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"Just leave the 18% and let's go."
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"( Ringing stops )"
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"And then I looked up and he started coming towards me."
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"I should've just had the eggs and onions."
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"Marty: He's the slowest golfer in the United States."
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"I have to start doing math in my head now?"
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"Hey! Hey!"
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"in the dining room."
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"but it's not what you're thinking."
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