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Clips from Curb Your Enthusiasm - The Black Swan (S07E07)

"You got the name of the stonemason?"
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"Yes, I have the name of the stonemason, yes."
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"I'm gonna spell it the right way."
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"And what about some blandishments on here?"
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"How about "devoted wife"? Some adjectives?"
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"You wanted maybe $6,000 more on the stone?"
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"Why not just "Adele David born, passed away"?"
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"How long do we have to stay here?"
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"- P-a-s-t past. - "Past away.""
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"- I don't believe it. - God only knows what that man has let go through."
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"Lucky he didn't put "beloved moth.""
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"( All chuckle )"
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"Hey hey hey. Norm's here. We've got to hurry up."
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"Let's eat. Let's order."
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"Let's order breakfast and beat him to the first tee."
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"- Yeah, come on. - What are we having?"
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"I'm gonna have egg whites with a bagel. Quickly, please."
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"- I'll have sunny-side eggs. - Just a fruit plate."
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"I don't want them limp. I really want them crispy."
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"Andy, Andy, do me a favor."
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"- You don't need to get crispy onions. - No, this is what I want."
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"Believe me. I've ordered this before. I know exactly what I want."
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"- I know, but they take a long time. - Thank you."
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"- Thank you very much. - It takes a long time."
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"- Stop it. You don't know what you're talking about. - I do know."
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"- I make onions at home. - So I'll only eat half."
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"- Don't worry. - You have never played behind norm."
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"- Hey, Jim. - What's going on?"
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"- How are you? - Not bad."
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"Yeah, taking a red-eye tonight."
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"- Good to see you. - Good to see you."
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"- Take care. - Take care."
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"It's a courteous thing to do."
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"- What, do you have to know his name? - I don't have to know it."
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"He has to know your name and shake your hand?"
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"It's a common courtesy when you're talking to someone."
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"It's a pointless and unnecessary social convention..."
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"Hello? Oh, hey, dad."
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"You shouldn't use the phone in here."
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"- Home for dinner tonight at 6:30. - Keep it down."
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"Come on. Tell him you'll call him back."
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"Great. I'll see you then."
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"Why you break rule?"
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"Oh. I'm sorry, Mr. Takahashi."
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"My father had a quadruple bypass surgery yesterday"
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"You do this all time."
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"Last warning."
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"Sorry."
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"- Who the hell is he? - Mr. Takahashi."
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"- He's the owner. - Of the club?"
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"- Yeah. - Oh boy."
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"Will you please finish shoveling that shit into your face?"
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"It's exactly how I wanted it done."
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"I told you those onions were gonna take 10-15 minutes."
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"A couple of minutes longer than you guys."
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"It wasn't a couple of minutes. We've been done for five."
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"- No, it's over. - Maybe they're going to the range."
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"No, they're not going to the range. They don't go to the range."
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"- Thanks, gentlemen. - Yeah, I got it. Don't worry."
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"- Thanks, larr. - You're welcome."
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"And then they have a space for an additional tip."
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"And then... what does it come out to? $2?"
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"I'm leaving an extra $2? That makes me look cheap."
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"I think that's all they expect."
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"I'm not leaving any more additional tips here. I'm protesting it."
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"I swear to you I'm gonna protest it."
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"- I don't think it's right. - Jeff: I'm gonna follow your lead."
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"- Marty: It's a good protest. - This is crazy."
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"- You ready? - Yeah, we're ready."
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"Let's go, let's go. Come on."
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"- Thanks again, guys. - Okay, thank you."
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"Have a good round."
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"Whoa. Was... was everything all right?"
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"- Yeah, good job. - Thanks."
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"Um, see, 'cause you didn't leave a tip."
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"And usually when I've provided excellent service,"
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"my customers like to tip me."
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"Well, there is an 18% tip included."
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"Generally, I do leave an additional tip,"
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"but you know what? I'm kind of protesting the additional tip."
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"Yes. Let 'em charge me 20%. Let 'em charge me 25%."
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"I'd rather be charged a 30% tip included"
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"than have to add up 18% to 20% to 25%... whatever."
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"- It's hard to get to 2%. - You take 1%, just move the decimal place two spots."
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"Okay, you have a system. I don't have a system"
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"to get to 2%."
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"You know, don't make me do math at the table."
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"So you're protesting math."
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"- Boy, this is ridiculous. - This is insane."
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"20 minutes he's looking for this ball."
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"Hey, norm, drop a ball."
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"Huh? - You've been looking for 20 minutes."
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"- Just drop a ball. - I haven't been looking for 20 minutes."
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"You don't play through. Out of the question!"
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"It's not right! It's very inconsiderate!"
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"I'm not inconsiderate! You're inconsiderate!"
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"- You're inconsiderate! - No, you are!"
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"- You want to do me a favor? - Yeah yeah."
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"Huh?! are you glad you had the onions?!"
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"I can't find the goddamn ball!"
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"- Let's go! - Don't be angry at me just 'cause you're angry at him."
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"- We'll come back tomorrow. - I come here to relax, to have a good time!"
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"Crispy onions! They have to be crispy!"
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""I can't eat breakfast"
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"unless I have crispy onions!""
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"- How's your wife? - Fuck you, norm!"
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"- That was a lot of fun. - Yeah, what a time."
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"Hey, you!"
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"Did you have to yell and scream at norm out there?"
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"You guys are the slowest foursome in the club."
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"You're very inconsiderate."
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"You don't yell at somebody who has high blood pressure."
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"I didn't know he has high blood pressure."
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"You know what happens when you yell at somebody with high blood pressure?"
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"They have a heart attack and they die."
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"That's right."
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"So you're blaming me?"
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"- Yes! - It's not my fault"
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"that he had a heart attack."
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"- Did you even know him? - I did know him somewhat."
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