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Clips from Three's Company - It's Only Money (S01E01)

"Yes, loans is the key."
Three's Company
"He's really flipped out."
Three's Company
"Should I call a doctor or get a net?"
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"Why didn't I think of that before?"
Three's Company
"I'm such an idiot."
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"[ Laughter ]"
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"[ Applause ]"
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"That's the answer; there is a financial aid"
Three's Company
"department at my school."
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"They give loans to students in need."
Three's Company
"Fantastic."
Three's Company
"They have to make up a really sad story."
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"Well, you've got one."
Three's Company
"Hum?"
Three's Company
"You were robbed, weren't you?"
Three's Company
"Yeah."
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"And if you don't pay the rent, they're going to throw you out"
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"In the street."
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"And just to clinch it, tell them you've got"
Three's Company
"Two weak girls depending on you."
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"Yeah."
Three's Company
"Well, what are you waiting for?"
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"Get out of here."
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"Now, there's just a few questions."
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"Uh, what did you want this money for?"
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"Well, the rent money was stolen, our apartment was burgled,"
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"They just smashed right in."
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"just to leave the front door open."
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"We'd probably be safer that way."
Three's Company
"I mean, burglars would think it was a trick and not come in."
Three's Company
"[ Laughter ]"
Three's Company
"There's one thing I’d like to mention, Mr. Travis,"
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"I don't have any collateral."
Three's Company
"Jack, as a student here all you have to prove is need."
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"Oh, we need, we need."
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"That's good enough for me."
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"You share the apartment?"
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"With a couple of roommates who don't have any money either"
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"And since it's harder for a woman to get a loan then a man,"
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"I decided it was up to me, so here I am."
Three's Company
"You're living with a woman?"
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"Oh, um, yeah, but that won't hurt my application, will it?"
Three's Company
"Jack, Jack, this is the '70s, for heaven's sake."
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"I mean, this is a college, not a monastery."
Three's Company
"Oh, good."
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"Oh, no, she's a typist."
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"Oh."
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"Yes, uh, well, that's all right."
Three's Company
"Oh, uh, she works in a flower shop."
Three's Company
"[ Laughter ]"
Three's Company
"I really appreciate this, Mr. Travis."
Three's Company
"You live with two girls?"
Three's Company
"You know, what's so nice is that you seem to have"
Three's Company
"A terrific understanding of my problems."
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"It's a real load off my mind, believe me."
Three's Company
"Two girls?"
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"[ Laughter ]"
Three's Company
"That's right."
Three's Company
"Well, now, uh, well, uh, how long did you want"
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"To take to pay this off, I mean, six, twelve,"
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"Eighteen months?"
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"Oh, may as well go for the eighteen, huh?"
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"May as well."
Three's Company
"[ Laughter ]"
Three's Company
"You live with two girls?"
Three's Company
"[ Laughter ]"
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"They're lovely, hard working."
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"Oh, yes, yes, yes, now--"
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"[ Laughter ]"
Three's Company
"$300, are you sure this is going to be enough?"
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"[ Laughter ]"
Three's Company
"I don't believe in biting off more than I can chew."
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"[ Laughter ]"
Three's Company
"You don't?"
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"I figure, what, $300."
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"If I can save $20 a--"
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"Two girls?"
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"[ Laughter ]"
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"I promise I’ll pay back the loan."
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"I know I work a six hour school day and I have to study"
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"All night, but I also find time to pick up part-time jobs."
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"When? When?"
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"About my father and that ruined it."
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"Are you illegitimate?"
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"[ Laughter ]"
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"No."
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"He wanted to know how much my father made for a living."
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"Oh, oh, I see."
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"So he could be sure you'd pay the loan back."
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"No, so he could be sure I couldn't."
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"I don't get it."
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"Neither did I."
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"You see, my father earns over $6,000 a year,"
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"Which means I am not a hardship case."
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"How about that?"
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"If my father were poor and starving,"
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"We'd all be sitting pretty."
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"What a lousy break."
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"What are we going to do now?"
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"I've got a thought."
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"We mustn't despair."
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"Well, what's your thought?"
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"That's it, we mustn't despair."
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"[ Laughter ]"
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"[ Doorbell ringing ]"
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"We don't need philosophy, Jack, we need money."
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"It's the Ropers."
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"I'm taking a shower."
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"[ Laughter ]"
Three's Company
"Are you kidding?"
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"Keep him out?"
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"He'll be back as soon as he figures it out."
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"It's the pub for us again."
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"Grab your coats and let's get out of here."
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"Okay."
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"How'd they get away this time?"
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"Hold it."
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"Hold it."
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"Come back here."
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"Helen, lock that door."
Three's Company
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