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Clips from Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000) - The Corpse-Sniffing Dog (S03E03)

"My mommy's next door. She'll be home soon."
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"And my daddy's at a hotel."
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"to talk to you."
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"Oh."
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"You know what? I think I'm gonna have this instead."
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"Okay."
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"I just want to try this wine."
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"Believe me, I know as much about this as the next guy."
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"Come on."
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"No. Too fruity."
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"And a tad on the oaky side."
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"What does "oaky" mean?"
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"It tastes a little like a tree."
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"Let's talk about your dad, okay?"
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"Isn't there another animal we could interest you in?"
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"Perhaps a little pussycat?"
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"How about a rabbit?"
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"- Um-mm. - Pony?"
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"I never heard of a little girl that didn't want a pony."
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"- Turtle? - Turtles scare me."
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"Put him in a cage and you can torture him a little bit."
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"- They're boring. - But you torture them."
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"It's not boring if you torture them."
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"Is that Oscar's whistle?"
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"Uh-huh."
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"I wouldn't blow it, he's asleep."
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"Oh. Look at this."
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"He came running out of the restaurant."
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"I don't understand how this thing works."
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"So..."
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"come on, Sammy. What do you say?"
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"I don't want Oscar."
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"I want Daddy."
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"Go home! It's all taken care of."
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"You're more than welcome."
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"What do you say, Oskie-boy?"
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"Are you excited about the Braudys? Come here, give me a kiss."
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"Ooh."
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"All right, look at your new home."
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"You're such a good boy."
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"Yeah, you're such a good boy!"
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"- Hello. - Hi."
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"This is the corpse-sniffing dog I was telling you about."
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"- Right. I remember dinner. - Oscar."
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"Yeah, all yours."
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"Do you have something to say to me, Larry?"
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"Yeah, congratulations."
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"I was surprised at how good it was, actually."
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"Very funny, that's very funny."
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"Look, I didn't want to make a big deal out of it,"
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"but you know how I feel about what happened at dinner."
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"I'm still waiting."
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"I guess you'll have to continue to wait"
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"Because a thank you is just a little more than you can handle."
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"No, it's not more than I can handle."
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"If you had paid for the meal,"
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"I would've thanked you as I told you."
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"It's extraordinary. It's a shame."
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"So am I to assume that you do not want the dog?"
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"Is this what you're saying to me?"
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"If you want to thank me for dinner, I will look at your dog."
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"I thank people when they deserve to be thanked."
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"Because you haven't worked a day since you got out of college."
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"- You've never held a job... - Hey, look it's a dog."
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"Leave the doggie alone. He's not our dog."
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"- His name's Oscar. - That's Larry's dog."
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"I wanted to give this dog to you, but your mommy doesn't want it."
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"Don't be silly, you weren't gonna give him to me."
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"We'll look for a dog someplace else."
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"Why look for one when there's one right here?"
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"- Please? - Oscar?"
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"Okay, okay, all right."
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"Hey, hey what do you say?"
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"- Thank you! - You're welcome."
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"He sleeps on my bed."
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"Oh, shit."
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"You sick fuck, Larry David!"
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"getting my kid drunk?!"
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"Drunk? What are you talking about?"
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"Oh, I poured some of your... I had poured some wine."
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"a seven-year-old kid drank some wine?"
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"It was... the glasses got..."
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"Do I look like a fucking idiot, that I'm gonna believe you?"
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"You got her drunk and stole the fucking dog, all right?!"
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"No, she told me I could have the dog."
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"She told you you could take the dog after you got her"
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"I thought she had a speech impediment."
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"That's what was so puzzling to me."
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"Oh, listen, you four-eyed fuck, you stole the dog!"
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"I don't know what you did to him."
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"I just want to thank you for dinner the other night."
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"You're married, you're a couple."
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"of course you get thanked. It's a 50/50 thing."
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"So what if he works and you don't?"
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"You're a housewife, you raise the kids."
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"You've got kids, that's a full time job."
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"You deserve a thank you. And I was dead wrong."
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"And I'm sorry."
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"Thank you."
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"I... that's great."
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"That wasn't easy to do and I really do appreciate it."
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"You know what? Once I realized the situation"
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"and how wrong I was, it was easy to do."
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"And listen..."
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"when you're wrong, you're wrong, you know?"
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"I didn't expect it. I just didn't, but thank you."
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"Good, good. Whew!"
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"How's the dog working out?"
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"The dog is actually great."
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"- Really? - Yeah, the kids are loving him."
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"They're loving him, he's sweet as can be."
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"Well-trained just like you said. He's terrific."
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"I'll tell you why I'm asking,"
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"because something's come up..."
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"and ahem..."
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"the owner of the dog actually wants the dog back."
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"I just left her,"
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"and her kid's pretty broken up about it."
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"What do you mean, what do you mean?"
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"Well, it's a long story,"
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