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Clips from Curb Your Enthusiasm - The Table Read (S07E07)

"- Is he insane? - ( Cell phone chimes )"
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""Do you watch 'wizards of waverly place'"?"
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""No, I don't watch 'wizards of waverly place.'""
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"why would you do that, Larry?"
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"- What? - What were you thinking?"
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"- Wh-what are you talking about? - Why did you yell at Emma?"
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"- Yell? I didn't yell at Emma. - Yes, you did."
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"- No no, that's not yelling. - Yes, it is!"
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"No, I was being emphatic. I wasn't yelling."
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"What were you thinking?"
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"I was thinking maybe I can get her to stop texting me."
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"Larry, I need you to make this right, okay?"
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"- Great. - All right, okay."
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"We're going to lunch at 1:00."
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"I think it would be really nice if you took her out to lunch."
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"- You'll bring her a little present. - We have to go to lunch?"
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"- Yeah, 1:00 lunch, okay? - Couldn't we have a little snack upstairs?"
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"Waiter: Monsieur David, how many with you for lunch?"
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"- Three. - Right this way."
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"- Are you on a regime? - Oh no, I just kind of watch it, you know."
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"Always wonderful. Bon appã©tit."
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"Thank you, thank you."
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"- Have a good meal. - Okay."
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"And, um, I hope you enjoy everything."
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"If you need anything, call me."
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"Monsieur David..."
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"Are you unhappy with the table?"
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"Okay, I see your problem here."
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"you took $20 out of my hand."
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"Mais non, you gave it to me."
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"- Gave it to you? - Oui."
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"Why... why would I give you $20?"
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"I assumed it for the other day..."
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"The wonderful service, the dinner."
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"I already paid you for that service."
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"Well, what were you giving it to me for?"
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"- I wasn't giving it to you. - Why else would I have it?"
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"- You think I was waiting for you to come? - I-i have no idea."
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"I gave you $20 yesterday and you're not getting"
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"another penny out of me, okay?"
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"Fine. Bon appã©tit."
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"Okay, first of all..."
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"I just want to apologize for the..."
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"with all the capital letters,"
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"the bad bad caps."
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"- You don't seem sorry. - Well, I said I was sorry."
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"Just because you say it doesn't mean you mean it."
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"Larry, do you remember when you were a little boy?"
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"- No. - Emma: If you can remember."
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"- No, I don't. - Stacy: You probably don't."
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"S-sir?"
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"Obviously they're ignoring me on purpose."
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"- Well, I can't imagine why. - I know why."
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"- Really? - Yeah, I know why."
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"Why?"
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"Excuse me, could you please get us some menus over here?"
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"This little girl, she's got an appointment with the doctor."
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"She's got a rash on her pussy."
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"Oh my god. Look, I made a mistake."
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"It's been three years. Don't hurt me, please."
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"Oh no no no no. I'm Danny duberstein, cpa."
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"- You're duberstein? - I'm Danny duberstein."
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"Come in, I want to talk to you."
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"No, I got to talk to you. This is very important."
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"- Stop looking at your watch. - No, I have to be out of here by 2:00."
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"Something that Emma likes? Presents?"
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"I heard somebody wants to be a writer."
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"- Stacy: Aw, you remembered! - What do you write with?"
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"Somebody gave this to me, and I'm giving it to you."
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"- Huh? - Yeah, I forgive you."
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"Give him a hug and some sugar."
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"Yay, Larry, that was thoughtful."
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"- Okay. - Aw."
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"I love it. Okay."
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"Michael: So "duberstein"..."
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"I was adopted by some lovely Jews."
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"- And you were bar mitzvahed? - Oh, yeah yeah. Three times."
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"The last time was a few months ago in Atlantic city."
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"You know, when you're 13 years old?"
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"- No no no no, you misunderstood. - What?"
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"It's once every 13 years, you know."
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"so you always keep your mitzvah kind of full, at capacity."
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""Capacitme..." mitzvah capacity."
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"I don't know."
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"Well, everything I ate tasted like peaches."
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"And I forgot how to multiply."
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"I could subtract, but I couldn't multiply."
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"Was it 10? Was it 130?"
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"Was it 16? I was tripping out."
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"That's some weird stuff, man."
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"Pssh, you're telling me."
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"That's math and fucking."
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"But how did you beat the groat's?"
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"( Laughing )"
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"You know what?"
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"This hat."
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"This hat saved my life."
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"Tell... tell me about the hat."
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"Look who the fuck shows up. What happened?!"
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"I'm so sorry. I got held up."
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"You missed the whole fucking show."
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"I'm in that fucking room busting my ass for you."
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"What's with these suits? You look like farrakhan."
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"Look, I was trying to fuck this Muslim girl. I had to join up for a month."
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"This the whitest shit I got right here."
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"What... what happened?"
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"What the fuck you think happened in there?"
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"I went in that room and whited that shit the fuck up."
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"I had that fucking dude rolling with me."
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"I don't know what the fuck a groat's disease is,"
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"but I'm going to tell you one thing: That man in that room..."
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"That goofy motherfucking man in that room will survive that shit."
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"- You better believe it. - And he bought it?"
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"Let me tell you how fucking well he bought it."
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"He's going to give me $200,000 to invest for his ass."
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"- You know what I mean? - Good man. I got a rehearsal."
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"- Let's go. - Good job."
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"Elaine, Clark Kent didn't know"
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"who his real father was until he was 16,"
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"and I think he turned out okay."
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