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Clips from Taxi - Louie Sees the Light (S01E01)

"Louie, I had an accident."
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"You had an ac-ac..."
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"You had an acc..."
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"An accident?"
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"Yeah... an accident."
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"I'll be darned."
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"Well, I don't want you to worry, Bob."
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"Some careless drunk just rams into your car, what can you do?"
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"Um... it wasn't any careless drunk."
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"See, it was my fault."
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"I... I ran a stop sign."
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"You ran a stop sign?"
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"Yeah. You see, uh... I couldn't see it."
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"I forgot to turn on my headlights."
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"Oh..."
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"Excuse me."
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"( growling )"
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"Oh, well, accidents happen."
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"Sorry, Bob."
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"You win, Alex."
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"You-you win."
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"I don't believe it. You..."
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"ALEX: I told you."
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"BOB: Yeah, but I don't believe it."
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"I... I... Wow."
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"What's that you're saying, Bob?"
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"Well, I got to hand it to you, Louie."
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"I didn't really think you could change."
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"I mean, I even bet Alex that you couldn't be a nice guy"
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"( chuckling )"
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"Oh..."
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"Oh, I see."
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"Then there wasn't any accident after all."
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"( laughing )"
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"Yeah, that's right."
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"( laughing harder )"
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"You were just testing me."
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"Playing a little game with me."
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"Yeah."
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"You were testing me"
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"to see if I could break my pact with God."
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"I guess it was like that,"
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"but, uh, man, you wouldn't crack."
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"You're great. I..."
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"Well...Alex?"
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"10, 20... 40, 50, 60, 70..."
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"80, 90... 5... 6..."
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"Louie, what, what are you doing?"
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"Louie, what are you... Louie, what are you..."
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"Louie, what the heck are you doing?!"
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"Stop it now!"
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"Stop it right now!"
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"Louie!"
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"Louie, what are you doing?"
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"You scum!"
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"You lowlife!"
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"You cretin!"
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"I'm going to make you regret the day you were born!"
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"I'm gonna make sure that every night"
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"you get the dirtiest"
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"smelliest cab in the garage,"
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"and if there isn't one that's dirty and smelly,"
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"then I'm gonna get in and smelly and dirty it up myself."
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"In the wintertime, your cab will have no heater."
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"In the summertime, your windows won't roll down."
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"I'm gonna make you the second most miserable cab driver"
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"in all of New York City."
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"The most miserable cab driver in all of New York City"
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"is whoever lets him down or feeds him."
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"Looks like you won the bet, Bob."
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"What are you doing?"
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"Alex."
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"Hey, come on."
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"Hi, Louie."
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"You believe in hell, Alex?"
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"Believe in it?"
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"I work there."
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"And I don't mean I broke a promise"
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"to some clown like yourself."
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"I broke a promise with Him."
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"I don't do nothing halfway, do I?"
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"Oh, come on, Louie."
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"Will you stop being so hard on yourself?"
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"Anybody could see you tried."
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"Now, come on, it's time to go home."
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"I ain't leaving here, Alex."
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"Why not?"
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"'Cause God's waiting for me outside."
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"He's rolled up His sleeves."
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"He's got His brass knuckles on."
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"He's getting ready for me."
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"Come on, Louie, I didn't see anybody outside."
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"Let's go home, huh?"
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"It's no use, Alex."
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"I committed the biggest sin in the book."
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"I welshed on God."
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"You know, Louie..."
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"I don't think you really did."
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"What are you talking about?"
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"You heard the promise I made to Him."
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"Yeah, that's just what I mean."
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"I mean, do you remember the exact words you said?"
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"I mean, what exactly did you say?"
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"I promised I'd be a good person."
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"No. I think your exact words were"
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""I'm going to be the best person I can possibly be.""
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"So what?"
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"Well, Louie, maybe the best person that you can possibly be"
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"is a rat."
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"What are you talking about?"
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"Well, you can't be something you're not."
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"I mean God made you what you are."
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"And if God made you the way you are,"
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"But we can be sure that just as He had a reason"
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"for creating snakes and lice and vermin..."
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"He had a reason for creating you, too."
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"That's a beautiful thought, Alex."
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"You... you really think"
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"He could forgive me for what I did?"
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"that He understands me being the way I am:"
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