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Clips from Schitt's Creek - Carl's Funeral (S01E01)

"Tsk, tsk, tsk."
Schitt's Creek
"I don't know Carl."
Schitt's Creek
"We barely know Bob."
Schitt's Creek
"Carl thought so highly of you, Johnny."
Schitt's Creek
"Oh... really. Well, that's nice."
Schitt's Creek
"No, I honestly don't know the man."
Schitt's Creek
"Well, understandably, Bob is uh..."
Schitt's Creek
"Pretty broken up by all of this"
Schitt's Creek
"be a pallbearer at Carl's funeral."
Schitt's Creek
"A pallbearer... Mm-hmm."
Schitt's Creek
"at Carl's funeral. Well, I don't, um..."
Schitt's Creek
"I, you know, I-I'm flattered."
Schitt's Creek
"It's-it's quite an honour to be-"
Schitt's Creek
"- I knew he would say yes. - Yeah."
Schitt's Creek
"And-and normally I would... I would."
Schitt's Creek
"I-I-I, you know, but my back. I have uh..."
Schitt's Creek
"I... I-I have back issues."
Schitt's Creek
"- The thing with my back. - Your back!"
Schitt's Creek
"Oh, it's... it's terrible."
Schitt's Creek
"Yeah, yeah, we're just talking about my back, sweetheart."
Schitt's Creek
"It's awful."
Schitt's Creek
"He's gonna be so disappointed."
Schitt's Creek
"Yeah... yeah. Well, life can kick you in the teeth sometimes."
Schitt's Creek
"Mm. Well, that's not gonna help Bob out too much there, Johnny."
Schitt's Creek
"Mm. Yeah. Shouldn't bother Carl."
Schitt's Creek
"I said bring the goddamn diaper bag!"
Schitt's Creek
"Uh, babe, I'm getting the cooler right now"
Schitt's Creek
"in case you didn't notice."
Schitt's Creek
"Well, Denim has needed a diaper change"
Schitt's Creek
"since before we left the house!"
Schitt's Creek
"Oh my God."
Schitt's Creek
"Some townie douchebag is moving in next door."
Schitt's Creek
"They've got a baby."
Schitt's Creek
"Agh!"
Schitt's Creek
"Is there a gun?"
Schitt's Creek
"- Oh... no. - Jesus! What the hell did you"
Schitt's Creek
"- throw that for?! - It's still too hot."
Schitt's Creek
"It's 20 seconds in the microwave not 20 minutes, you tool!"
Schitt's Creek
"You've lost it. You've lost it."
Schitt's Creek
"What the hell are you so rattled about?"
Schitt's Creek
"- What are you doing? - Um, I'm gonna go stay at Ted's"
Schitt's Creek
"because I've been on enough spring breaks"
Schitt's Creek
"to know how this is gonna end, and it's not... not good."
Schitt's Creek
"You're just gonna leave me here with these people?!"
Schitt's Creek
"Yeah. Like I don't feel good about it."
Schitt's Creek
"Um, hello! Hello!"
Schitt's Creek
"Is anybody in that hollow chest?"
Schitt's Creek
"Hey, Bob. How are you holding up?"
Schitt's Creek
"Oh... you know. Not bad."
Schitt's Creek
"You know, they say death is just life"
Schitt's Creek
"except you're not here."
Schitt's Creek
"You're somewhere else, you know? But..."
Schitt's Creek
"you know? But when does..."
Schitt's Creek
"When does somewhere become there?"
Schitt's Creek
"- And I... it - Just, just a coffee, please."
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"- For here? - Yeah."
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"Okay."
Schitt's Creek
"Bob."
Schitt's Creek
"- Hi, Johnny. - Oh, hi... hi."
Schitt's Creek
"You mind if I join you?"
Schitt's Creek
"I could use a little company today."
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"Oh, no, no. You-you stay where you are"
Schitt's Creek
"and I'll... I'll come over there."
Schitt's Creek
"Oh! Ooh, baby."
Schitt's Creek
"Yikes! That's... That hurts today."
Schitt's Creek
"Yeah, Roland, he told me about your back and I..."
Schitt's Creek
"I am so sorry."
Schitt's Creek
"Well... well, I'm the one who's sorry, Bob."
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"You know, hearing about your, uh, brother... C-C-Chris-"
Schitt's Creek
"- Carl. - Carl. Yeah, he was a good man."
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"A good man. He admired you, Johnny."
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"And I him."
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"Listen, uh, I understand about your back..."
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"Yeah..."
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"And... I was just uh.. Just wondering"
Schitt's Creek
"if, uh, maybe you could say a few words at the funeral?"
Schitt's Creek
"I-I-I don't feel I deserve that... honor."
Schitt's Creek
"Oh, see, I'm uh... I'm no good at these things."
Schitt's Creek
"You know, you, you're... You're polished."
Schitt's Creek
"You know, you're... You're well-spoken."
Schitt's Creek
"Oh no. No, no. Not really. Not really."
Schitt's Creek
"but not-not good in a public situation."
Schitt's Creek
"I clam up pret-pretty good."
Schitt's Creek
"As a favor, Johnny."
Schitt's Creek
"He must have had a few close friends,"
Schitt's Creek
"- somebody that - No one."
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"Well, sure. Sure. I can say a few words, Bob."
Schitt's Creek
"I'll say a few words."
Schitt's Creek
"Have you seen the couple that checked in?"
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"who happened to produce a child"
Schitt's Creek
"No, I can't. It's too early."
Schitt's Creek
"- They're my cousins. - Oh! Well, the um..."
Schitt's Creek
"No, no they're definitely skaggy."
Schitt's Creek
"Not genetically."
Schitt's Creek
"My mom's sister was married to Carl. Carl is Sean's step-dad."
Schitt's Creek
"And was that a factor in the cause of death?"
Schitt's Creek
"I wouldn't be surprised."
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"They broke up just before Sean got Bree pregnant."
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"Or someone got Bree pregnant."
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"I mean, Bree's not exactly fussy"
Schitt's Creek
"when it comes to introducing men to her vagina."
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"Mm. Charming."
Schitt's Creek
"Tell me it's not always this clean in here."
Schitt's Creek
"No, it's-it's always this clean."
Schitt's Creek
"Uh... that's the Febreeze."
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"I was... I was eating Indian last night, so..."
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"So much better than the motel."
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"Oh, ho-oh! Oh..."
Schitt's Creek
"Hey, come on now, you two, Oh, hi! Hi."
Schitt's Creek
"- Come on. - Hi there. Ooh!"
Schitt's Creek
"Oh-ho-ho... there's a good girl. There's a good girl!"
Schitt's Creek
"- They're so... - Well, Macy and Fifer are just staying with me"
Schitt's Creek
"for a couple of weeks until they get back on their feet."
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"Yeah, your worms are almost all gone, aren't they?"
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"Yeah..."
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"Yup. Oh! You know what though? Whoa -'kay. This is just..."
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"This is because she's... She's... She's scared right now."
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"But don't worry."
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"I can tell that you are gonna win them over."
Schitt's Creek
"- Yeah... ? - Yeah."
Schitt's Creek
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