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Clips from Gilligan's Island - Diogenes, Won't You Please Go Home? (S01E01)

"But others are captured too. So now, I shoot you."
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"Someone will rescue me because that's the American way."
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"I will save you, Gilligan."
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"Ooh, American movie star has come for the rescue."
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"Oh! That's ridiculous."
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"You think I'm just a movie star, don't you?"
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"There's something behind that greasepaint we don't know about?"
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"I'm Secret Agent 372536."
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"372536?"
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"Oh, mama-san, that's no secret?"
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"- I am a Judo expert. - And I'm no rookie. Ha!"
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"You Judo expert. Alright, what's your rank?"
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"- Holder of the black belt. - Hurray."
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"Thank you, Gilligan."
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"En garde."
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"[yelling in Japanese]"
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"[thud]"
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"[yelling in Japanese]"
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"So much for him."
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"Ginger, I mean 372536, you were great."
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"Oh, thanks, Gilligan."
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"I've gotta free the others. I shall return."
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"And after you ran off into the jungle"
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"how did I get out of the tree?"
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"I haven't got into that part yet, Gilligan."
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"Come back in an hour, I'll have it for you."
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"Okay, Ginger. Thanks a lot, Ginger."
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"Everybody look. I found it. I found it."
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"- What? - Gilligan's diary."
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"It can't be. He threw it in the lagoon."
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"Oh, the tide must've washed it back."
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"What's that miserable wretch has to say about this?"
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"- I'll hear that too. - You better read it, dear."
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"Alright, listen to this, Mr. Howell."
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""I'm on the island with Mr. Thurston Howell III."
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""I don't have to say who he is"
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""because he's so rich that everybody knows him."
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""Only, money isn't important to him."
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""He treats me like I'm just as good as he is."
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""Which shows what a wonderful person he is."
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""And his wife Mrs. Howell, when they made up the word 'lady'"
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""that's who they were talking about."
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""The Skipper, well, he proved what a captain should be."
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""If it wasn't for him, we all would've drowned."
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""He piloted the ship, and he kept us all safe"
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""and I wouldn't be writing this if it weren't for him."
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""And then there's a real live movie star with us."
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""Boy, I'd have been afraid to ask for her autograph"
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"'"let alone talk to her, but she's like a real person'"
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"and everybody loves her because she's so good.""
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"Well, there is more."
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"Hi, everybody. Still mad at me?"
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"- Oh, Gilligan, little buddy. - Little buddy?"
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"Whenever has it been anything else?"
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"A while ago, you told me--"
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"Skipper, why don't you give Gilligan a chair."
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"Of course, Gilligan, Sit down."
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"Gilligan, my boy I'd.."
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"...like you to accept my humble apologies."
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"Oh, well, you're gonna apologize to me, Mr. Howell?"
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"Absolutely."
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"Would you like some coconut juice, Gilligan?"
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"Thank you. Oh, my diary."
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"Oh, gee, I'd like to write all this down in my diary."
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"Well, I guess it's just a dream."
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"- No, don't! - Oh, not that one, we won't."
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"That book must be preserved at any cost."
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"- I don't understand. - What he means, Gilligan, is.."
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"We see ourselves as we are, and you see us"
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"'as we would like to be.'"
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"You got me more mixed up now."
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"Let me try. Gilligan, what he's trying to say is that"
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"the book means more to us, than it does to you."
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""A Boy Scout's Guide Through New Jersey"?"
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"We thought it was your diary."
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"- Oh, no, I hid that. - Good."
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"And someday, I'll remember where I hid it."
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"* Now this is the tale of our castaways *"
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"* There here for a long long time *"
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"* They'll have to make the best of things *"
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"* It's an uphill climb *"
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"* The first mate and his skipper too *"
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"* Will do their very best *"
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"* To make the others comfortable *"
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"* In their tropic island nest *"
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"* No phone, no lights, no motor car *"
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"* Not a single luxury *"
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"* Like Robinson Crusoe *"
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"* As primitive as can be *"
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"* So join us here each week my friends *"
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"* You're sure to get a smile *"
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"* For seven stranded castaways *"
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"* Here on Gilligan's Isle *"
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"'Gilligan!'"
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"Five-year-old bottle of scotch?"
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"Gilligan, I order you to stay here."
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"Thanks, Gilligan."
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