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Clips from The Big Bang Theory - The Jiminy Conjecture (S03E03)

"It was inappropriate to discuss Leonard and Penny's sex life..."
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"...in front of Leonard and Penny."
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"Now I can eat."
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"- What's that? - Sounds like a cricket."
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"Hang on."
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"Based on the number of chirps per minute and the temperature..."
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"...it is a snowy tree cricket."
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"Oh. Give me a fricking break. How could you possibly know that?"
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"In 1890, Emile Dolbear determined there was a fixed relationship..."
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"...between the number of chirps per minute and the ambient temperature."
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"A precise relationship that is not present with ordinary field crickets."
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"How do you know the temperature of this room?"
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"Under the terms of my roommate agreement I've had control..."
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"...of the thermostat ever since the sweaty night of '06."
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"Okay, you were right about Wolverine and bone claws..."
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"...but you're wrong about the cricket."
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"Howard, don't embarrass yourself. The science chirps for itself."
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"Humorous word play."
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"No, no. Not this time. I know insects, my friend."
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"I spent many childhood years capturing them with nets, putting them in jars..."
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"...sticking pins through them, mounting them on cardboard with labels..."
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"In Latin."
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"Oh. Dude, you are never getting a shiksa goddess."
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"I was done with Latin by fifth grade."
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"Okay. Tell you what."
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"I am willing to bet anything that's an ordinary field cricket."
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"- I can't take your money. - What's the matter, you chicken?"
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"I've always found that an inappropriate slur."
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"In fact, when I was young, my neighbor's chicken got loose..."
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"...and chased me up the big elm tree in front of our house."
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"- Chickens can't climb trees. - Thank God."
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"Okay, I believe a chicken made you his bitch."
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"The cricket thing, I don't buy. Bet me."
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"Fair enough."
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"What stakes do you propose?"
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"I will put up my Fantastic Four Number 48..."
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"...against your Flash 123, the classic "Flash of Two Worlds" issue."
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"All right, you have a wager."
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"Hmm."
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"There is no way to determine the species of the cricket without examining it."
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"I wonder what the non-pathetic people are doing tonight."
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"- More wine? - Hit me."
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"- I don't see anything. - Shh."
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"Hallway."
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"What was that?"
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"Indian food doesn't agree with me."
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"Ironic, isn't it?"
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"Elevator shaft."
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"Are you crazy? We can't go down an empty elevator shaft."
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"If you don't wanna proceed, then you forfeit the bet..."
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"...and I'll take possession of your Fantastic Four."
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"Let's open her up."
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"Are you bothered that I can so easily manipulate you?"
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"Don't push me, Sheldon."
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"I may be small, but I took kung fu when I was 13..."
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"...and I remember a good deal of it."
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"Oh, really?"
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"I grew up with an older brother and a very contentious twin sister."
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"And I could easily best you in any physical confrontation."
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"Be it noogies, swirlies or the classic, "Why are you hitting yourself?""
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"Ooh. Big talk from a man who was once treed by a chicken."
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"- Ahem. - What are we drinking now?"
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"Peppermint schnapps."
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"Because I like peppermint and it's fun to say "schnapps.""
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"- Hey, Leonard? - What?"
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"Schnapps."
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"Schnapps."
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"You're right, that is fun."
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"Be careful."
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"If I were not being careful..."
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"Stairwell."
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"Uh-oh. Flashlight went out. I need some batteries."
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"Fellas?"
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"Hello?"
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"It's really dark down here."
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"Oh, sweetie, you really can't hold your liquor, can you?"
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"I'm okay."
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"Just a little mouthwash and then I'm gonna rock your world."
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"Oh. Toby, what did you do in a past life to be so disgusting now?"
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"His name isn't Toby."
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"- What would you name him? - An appropriate cricket name."
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"For example, Jiminy."
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"All right, Sheldon, here we go."
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"Kleingast's Field Guide to North American Insects."
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"Hey, Toby."
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"See it? "The common field cricket, a.k.a. Gryllus assimilis"..."
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"...which is Latin for "suck it, you lose.""
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"Hang on."
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"...which is Latin for "I'll suck nothing.""
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"Of course, I'm joking, because the Latin for that is "nihil exsorbibo.""
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"That is not Toby, this is Toby."
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"Oh. I really don't care anymore."
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"- God, I had the most horrible night. - What happened?"
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"Obviously another carnal fiasco with the "shiksi" goddess."
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"Shiksa. Shiksa."
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"Forgive me. Yiddish was not spoken in East Texas."
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"And if it was, it wasn't spoken for long."
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"Yeah, fine, whatever. The point is you're wrong, again."
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"Let's go down to the Entomology Department..."
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"...and let Professor Crawley tell us what kind of cricket Toby is."
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"He's a snowy tree cricket. And his name is Jiminy."
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"I bet I could throw a rock in this room and come up with three better friends."
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"Holy crap."
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"It's like Silence of the Lambs down here."
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"Don't do that."
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"Don't be such a girl. They're just bugs."
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"I don't like bugs, okay? They freak me out."
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"Interesting."
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"You're afraid of insects and women."
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"It was a joke."
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"I made it to lessen your discomfort."
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"You're welcome."
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"Ha-ha. Don't knock. Just walk in."
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"Why be polite to the world's leading expert on the dung beetle?"
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"Excuse me, are you Professor Crawley?"
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"Who wants to know?"
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"I'm Dr. Cooper, from the Physics Department."
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"- Couldn't wait, huh? - I'm sorry?"
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"...for one of your godless laser machines."
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"No, you don't understand. We just wanna ask you a question."
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