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Clips from How I Met Your Mother - The Ashtray (S08E08)

"♪ ♪ [Upbeat Pop]"
How I Met Your Mother
"[Ted Narrating] Kids, you remember the Captain."
How I Met Your Mother
"- [Beeps] - Ted. This is the Captain."
How I Met Your Mother
"Well, it was a few weeks after Zoey and I broke up..."
How I Met Your Mother
"and I kind of rekindled things with that girl, Becky."
How I Met Your Mother
"Boats, boats, boats!"
How I Met Your Mother
"- I like the way you tell it. - Please, I insist."
How I Met Your Mother
"What, Lily? Come on."
How I Met Your Mother
"Nope."
How I Met Your Mother
"Well, well. Ted Mosby, my old nemesis."
How I Met Your Mother
"- What are you doing here? - Um, well..."
How I Met Your Mother
"At ease."
How I Met Your Mother
"So, who wants to see that painting?"
How I Met Your Mother
"No scope."
How I Met Your Mother
"So I waited until everyone was out of the room. And then..."
How I Met Your Mother
"- What do I do? What do I do? - Okay, wait a second."
How I Met Your Mother
"[Whispering] Ted, ask about the boat."
How I Met Your Mother
"If it is a booty call, then Robin will just let him down easy."
How I Met Your Mother
"- You don't think she'll mind? - I don't think she'll mind."
How I Met Your Mother
"Boats! Boats! Boats! [Giggling]"
How I Met Your Mother
"Yeah? So? I hardly think that changes the story."
How I Met Your Mother
"♪ ♪ [Musical Sting]"
How I Met Your Mother
"- Well, well. - [High-pitched Scream]"
How I Met Your Mother
"Man, this guy is so rude."
How I Met Your Mother
"Hello, my darling, my one true love..."
How I Met Your Mother
"- [Snaps Fingers] - Zoey."
How I Met Your Mother
"- A remote control? - A remote control."
How I Met Your Mother
"[Whispers] Okay? Okay."
How I Met Your Mother
"Ted, I'm not mad at you."
How I Met Your Mother
"So, he invited me back to his bedroom to show me this painting, and..."
How I Met Your Mother
"and instead enjoy the company of multiple partners..."
How I Met Your Mother
"but just girls, not dudes..."
How I Met Your Mother
""Iceberg straight ahead!""
How I Met Your Mother
"It finally happened."
How I Met Your Mother
"Oh, God. Lily, if you tell me that you slept with the Captain for anything under 2.8..."
How I Met Your Mother
"No, it's nothing like that."
How I Met Your Mother
"- Daddy's... - [Robin, Ted] Nope."
How I Met Your Mother
"Okay, yeah. That's what happened."
How I Met Your Mother
"which is why I think she's gonna love this elephant painting."
How I Met Your Mother
"If you like art, you should see the painting I just acquired."
How I Met Your Mother
"- It's in my... - Manners!"
How I Met Your Mother
"In my apartment right upstairs."
How I Met Your Mother
"[Lily] Then, after I saved you from destroying a priceless crystal ashtray..."
How I Met Your Mother
"He was a jerk. He deserved to have that precious painting stolen."
How I Met Your Mother
"[Barney Chuckles]"
How I Met Your Mother
"A simple play you can do using two everyday household objects:"
How I Met Your Mother
"You are gonna return that ashtray..."
How I Met Your Mother
"- I am not taking it back. - Oh, my God! Lily!"
How I Met Your Mother
"And you're gonna... you're gonna go back and pick up..."
How I Met Your Mother
"and I'm gonna punch her in the face."
How I Met Your Mother
"Look, I promise you."
How I Met Your Mother
"I didn't even realize it was gone."
How I Met Your Mother
"- You should've been there. - Barney! Let her tell her story!"
How I Met Your Mother
"Thanks."
How I Met Your Mother
"That's weird. I have a message."
How I Met Your Mother
"That's weird. You still have an answering machine."
How I Met Your Mother
"- [Snickers] - [Beeps]"
How I Met Your Mother
"Ted, this is the Captain."
How I Met Your Mother
"Please call me back at your earliest convenience."
How I Met Your Mother
"Oh, crap."
How I Met Your Mother
"♪ ♪ [Ends]"
How I Met Your Mother
"He was one of the richest men in New York."
How I Met Your Mother
"And when I met him, he was married to Zoey, who I ended up... befriending."
How I Met Your Mother
"Oh, man. He seems pissed."
How I Met Your Mother
"- Does he? - Yes! Listen."
How I Met Your Mother
"- [Beeps] - Ted? This is the Captain."
How I Met Your Mother
"Please call me back at your earliest convenience."
How I Met Your Mother
"Oh, I hear it now."
How I Met Your Mother
"- What? I don't know. - Listen again."
How I Met Your Mother
"[Metal Blade Rings]"
How I Met Your Mother
"- He sounds pissed. - Yeah, and I think I know why."
How I Met Your Mother
"It has to do with the last time I saw him."
How I Met Your Mother
"It was, um... It was, like, a year and a half ago."
How I Met Your Mother
"Oh, boy, that was a crazy story."
How I Met Your Mother
"[Laughing] Oh, boy. Yeah, I remember."
How I Met Your Mother
"You weren't there."
How I Met Your Mother
"Ted. Bubeleh."
How I Met Your Mother
"If you have a crazy story, I was there."
How I Met Your Mother
"It's just a law of the universe."
How I Met Your Mother
"So what happened?"
How I Met Your Mother
"and I was on the rebound..."
How I Met Your Mother
"- Becky? - Boats, boats, boats."
How I Met Your Mother
"Boats!"
How I Met Your Mother
"What's this a commercial for again?"
How I Met Your Mother
"- [Laughing] - I can't quite..."
How I Met Your Mother
"- Boats, boats! - Oh, get a room, you two."
How I Met Your Mother
"- [Ted] You weren't there! - I was too!"
How I Met Your Mother
"All right. You were there. Tell me the story."
How I Met Your Mother
"Okay. We'll tell it together."
How I Met Your Mother
"- Okay. Lily... - Lily..."
How I Met Your Mother
"- had invited us... - had invited us..."
How I Met Your Mother
"- to an art... - Garfunkel concert!"
How I Met Your Mother
"Gallery opening."
How I Met Your Mother
"An Art Garfunkel gallery opening concert."
How I Met Your Mother
"Go on, Ted. You're doing great."
How I Met Your Mother
"Anyway, I get to the gallery."
How I Met Your Mother
"This place is so fancy."
How I Met Your Mother
"I hope I don't embarrass myself."
How I Met Your Mother
"You got nothing to be embarrassed about."
How I Met Your Mother
"Dude, look who it is."
How I Met Your Mother
"Daddy's home."
How I Met Your Mother
"- Lily saw an ad for this... - Gallery?"
How I Met Your Mother
"- So, we came to check out the... - Artwork."
How I Met Your Mother
"- And then we ran into... - Me."
How I Met Your Mother
"[Ted Thinking] Man, this guy's so rude."
How I Met Your Mother
"I mean, I get why he's mad. I did stick it to his ex-wife."
How I Met Your Mother
"Repeatedly."
How I Met Your Mother
"Still, he's being a jerk."
How I Met Your Mother
"Someone needs to bring him down a peg."
How I Met Your Mother
"- I'm sorry. Where are my... - Manners."
How I Met Your Mother
"That's how that feels."
How I Met Your Mother
"Art consultant. What's that?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Oh, Shelly helps the Captain select artwork..."
How I Met Your Mother
"based on its aesthetic appeal and value as an investment."
How I Met Your Mother
"[Mouthing Words]"
How I Met Your Mother
"That's why I think she's gonna love this elephant painting."
How I Met Your Mother
"Well, I should go. Captain, we'll talk tomorrow?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Hey, if you like art, you should see the painting I just acquired."
How I Met Your Mother
"It's in my apartment just upstairs."
How I Met Your Mother
"Anyone with this kind of ashtray money..."
How I Met Your Mother
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