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Clips from Brooklyn Nine-Nine (2013) - Ding Dong (S07E07)

"That's right, I'm bringing all three of them"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine (2013)
"in the state of New York this Saturday."
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"Wait. He's taking the kids for us?"
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"but she didn't win. I did."
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"Finally beat the old fishwife."
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"- Sir, does that make you sad?"
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"to feel a little down about her death."
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"- Because of her ratty hair."
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"No, it's not the same."
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"a helpless dead person. - You are."
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"- Well, it's time for my speech."
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"- I don't know."
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"but I've come to realize"
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"Cheddar's doggy toothpaste has shipped."
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"and apparently, it isn't."
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"Is everything okay? - Yeah."
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"She did have one guess as to what might be causing it."
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"And, um, she was right."
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"[laughs] - [exhales]"
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"- What's this meeting about?"
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"Did someone find my meatball sub?"
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"- A, we would never have a meeting about that."
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"B, you are holding it. - Oh."
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"[chuckles] Meeting adjourned."
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"- Meeting's not over, dummy."
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"of Commissioner Wuntch. - [groans]"
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"What does that human blister want now?"
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"Does she intend to demote me even further?"
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"Or perhaps she'll transfer me to the swamps of New Jersey"
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"so I can patrol the sinkhole where she was spawned."
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"- Or it's possible the announcement has nothing"
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"to do with you. - Oh, good thinking, Peralta."
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"You're right."
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"Maybe Madeline wants to inform"
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"us all that she's a Cheuksin."
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"A Korean toilet ghost, lives in an outhouse,"
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"wraps her hair around your throat and chokes you to death"
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"while you move your bowels. - You know what?"
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"I will give you $6,000 if the announcement"
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"is she's a Cheuksin."
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"- That Madeline Wuntch is a Korean toilet ghost?"
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"Boring. We already knew that."
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"- Madeline Wuntch is dead."
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"- Say what now?"
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"- Wait, Wuntch is dead? - Yeah."
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"The Commissioner's office just notified us."
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"- No way that's true."
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"As Wuntch says when she sees deodorant,"
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""I'm not buying it." - [laughs]"
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"- Sir, she's dead. - Oh, Terry."
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"Zombies can't die. This is some sort of scam."
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"If she were dead,"
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"we would be hearing the sounds of children"
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"singing in the streets. - I don't know, sir."
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"You didn't believe it when we told you"
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"the Disco Strangler died, either."
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"- And I was right. He was faking it."
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"- Maybe she's alive."
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"- The same reason she visits Mexico once a year"
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"and sucks the blood from all the goats."
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"For kicks."
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"- Look, I don't know what to tell you,"
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"but she's dead. What do you want?"
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"To open up her coffin and check for yourself?"
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"- Oh, she's very dead."
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"Guess who's walking the red carpet this Saturday?"
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"- Chord Overstreet. - Who?"
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"- Sam Evans from "Glee." - No, me."
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"Why would you guess that? I was clearly talking about me."
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"- Okay, but for the record,"
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"I bet Chord Overstreet will also be walking one."
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"- Stop talking about Chord Overstreet."
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"No, I'm going to the world premiere"
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"of "Kwazy Kupcakes: The Movie.""
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"- Whoa! How'd you get the invite?"
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"- Oh, your ska friend? Did he work on the movie?"
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"- No, he submitted an unsolicited script"
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"that a producer accidentally opened"
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"so legally they had to give him a "story by" credit,"
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"and now I've got four tickets."
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"- Wow. So who you bringing?"
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"- You know, Cagney and Lacey love "Kwazy Kupcakes.""
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"They are crazy Kwazy fans. - Huh, cool."
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"Well, if you guys are free this Saturday--"
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"means a lot to Nikolaj."
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"- Touching, but Cagney and Lacey"
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"don't have any friends at all."
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"- No, Boyle's right. Whose kids do you like more?"
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"I like all of your kids an equal amount."
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"Just give me some space and I'll figure out"
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"who I'm gonna take. - Okay, backing off."
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"- Stepping away. - Making room."
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"- Letting you breathe. - Thank you."
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"[cell phone chimes]"
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"Did you both just send me pictures of your kids crying?"
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"both: No."
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"Bagels for everyone!"
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"- So I guess you believe it now."
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"- Yep. Wanna see the selfies I took?"
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"- Actually, yes. - I'll share the album with you."
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"- Oh, my God!"
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"I just heard about Wuntch!"
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"She was so young!"
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"- For a redwood tree."
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"I feel sad. - That's insane."
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"You don't feel sad when a monster dies"
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"in a monster movie."
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"In "E.T.,""
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"do you feel sad when E.T. dies?"
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"- Yes. - He wasn't a monster."
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"- He caused a real commotion. - It isn't just Wuntch."
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"and she has me taking hormones to help with ovulation"
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"and my emotions are in overdrive."
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"- Well, I know just the thing to cheer you up."
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"Wuntch is dead! Bagel!"
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"Bagel! Bagel!"
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"- Sir, I am loving this color on you,"
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"but don't you think you should tone it down?"
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"- Why, in case I run into her family?"
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"I'm not planning any trips to the Bronx Zoo."
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