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Clips from Taxi - Elaine and the Lame Duck (S01E01)

"( laughing )"
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"( yells )"
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"Listen, Nardo... if you ever grab me again"
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"in a non-erogenous zone, you're gone."
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"Ugh."
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"Alex, I need your advice."
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"What? Okay, look,"
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"unless it's about you and Walter,"
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"because I don't want to get in the middle of that."
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"It's about me and Walter."
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"All right. If you just want to talk and it's no big stuff..."
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"It's gigantic stuff."
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"You can't get more intimate."
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"In that case, shoot."
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"Well... I guess everybody's really curious"
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"about why I'm seeing him so much."
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"Well, I'm not. I understand."
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"Yeah?"
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"Yeah."
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"I guess like him for the same reason"
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"I'm drawn to that scrawny little puppy in the pet store"
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"you know, that nobody else wants."
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"Well, whatever your reasons,"
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"I really got to hand it to you, Elaine, you know?"
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"Dating you has really changed Walter."
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"He seems like he's got"
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"a lot more confidence in himself now."
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"You know that?"
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"I know. You're right."
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"Oh, he is such a sweet guy."
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"You know how some guys treat your kids nice?"
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"Yeah."
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"Well, Walter's not just treating them nice."
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"I mean, he really likes my kids."
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"Oh, yeah?"
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"The other day my daughter came home upset"
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"because three of her best friends"
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"were going to see The Nutcracker without her."
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"The mother couldn't get an extra ticket"
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"Well, I'm giving her this big lecture,"
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"telling her it's no big deal"
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"and you shouldn't be so upset about it,"
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"you know, but she wouldn't stop crying."
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"So I look over at Walter, and he's got tears in his eyes."
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"So then I got them both on my hands."
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"So, what'd you do?"
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"I took them both to see The Nutcracker."
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"What's your problem?"
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"I got to break up with him."
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"Oh, Elaine, no."
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"I know, Alex. I'm sorry, but I have no choice."
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"Walter's beginning to make certain suggestions."
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"Like what?"
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"Like, "How about a roll in the hay?""
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"Walter's suggestions seem to run toward the blunt, don't they?"
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"Yeah."
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"I mean, I like him,"
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"but there's just not that chemistry thing."
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"So what do you want me to say, I understand?"
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"I understand."
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"What are you getting so sore about?"
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"You want to break up with Walter, fine."
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"Just go on your own instincts,"
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"those same instincts that have gotten you this far--"
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"divorced, poor, working nights,"
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"holding two jobs."
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"Alex, will you calm down for a second?"
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"This man is coming over tonight."
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"We're gonna be alone."
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"My kids are with my ex-husband."
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"I don't know if I can handle this."
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"Elaine, do you really expect me to tell you"
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"whether you should roll in the hay or not with Walter?"
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"I guess you're right."
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"Oh, I got to do what I got to do."
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"I just know it's going to break his heart."
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"Oh. You're going to go to bed with him."
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"You're sure you don't want anything?"
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"Maybe just a little... applause."
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"No, I haven't got time."
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"I'll just have a cup of coffee..."
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"Babe."
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"Uh..."
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"Say, can we talk about..."
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"No, no."
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"I guess we shouldn't."
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"It's not a thing you talk about."
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"Walter, it's okay to talk about it."
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"I've never sweat so much in my entire life."
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"Elaine, be honest with me."
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"Did you let me stay last night because you wanted to,"
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"or because you felt sorry for me?"
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"Or did I just catch up with the law of averages?"
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"Isn't that reason enough?"
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"Yeah."
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"Elaine, I had a little time to think"
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"before you woke up this morning..."
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"seven, eight hours..."
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"I have a great idea."
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"Why don't you and I agree not to see anyone else."
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"Walter..."
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"Okay, okay, I'll just agree not to see anyone else,"
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"but when can I see you again?"
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"Well, now that we've done this,"
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"I want to know when I can see you"
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"and for how long,"
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"and can you write this down for me?"
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"Walter, listen to me."
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"This was just what I was afraid of."
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"I pushed too far, right?"
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"Well..."
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"All right, all right."
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"Don't worry about that, don't worry about that."
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"We don't have to go steady or anything"
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"but I'd appreciate it if you'd meet my parents."
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"I can make a call now."
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"There are flights leaving all hours."
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"Walter, you want to fly your parents to New York"
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"because of what we did last night?"
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"It's a shuttle."
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