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Clips from All in the Family - Writing the President (S01E01)

"[ Archie, Edith ] ♪ gee, our old lasalle ran great ♪"
All in the Family
"Edith ! Yeah ?"
All in the Family
"You gotta watch out for that "rigid-idness.""
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"If he wants to unpollute somethin',"
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"Meeting adjourned."
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"Archie !"
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"From now on I wanna know what's in everything I buy."
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"- What ? - That's right. They just did a study."
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"And I mean the all-time all-timers."
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"And you know what you can do with your John Wayne. What about John Wayne ?"
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"You got a very wharfed sense of humor."
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"pollution, race relations, the war in Vietnam."
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"You left-wing, radical, liberal, meatheaded polack !"
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"This letter gets mailed from this house over my dead body."
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"That's the company I used to work for before we was married."
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"You're a dingbat."
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"Yeah, come on over."
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"Oh, Archie, oh, I don't know."
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"[ With feeling ] "Dear Mr. president,"
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"wrong ! What ?"
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"Uh, we don't solicit aid in commercial institutions."
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"It must've been a different nun. You do look alike."
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""we came up off the mat before when the goin' was tough,"
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"[ Door opens ] You finish your letter yet, daddy ?"
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"Now, wait a minute. Hold your horses, everybody."
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"Come on. The last pickup is 4:30. We'll be late."
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"That was so thrilling."
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"Did you jiggle ? What ?"
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"Can't I rely on you to do nothin' right ? The man that mails, jiggles !"
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"[ Announcer ] From television city in Hollywood."
All in the Family
"♪ Boy, the way Glenn Miller played ♪"
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"♪ guys like us we had it made ♪"
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"[ together ] ♪ those were the days ♪"
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"♪ and you knew where you were then ♪"
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"[ Archie ] ♪ girls were girls and men were men ♪"
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"[ Archie, Edith ] ♪ mister, we could use a man ♪"
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"♪ like Herbert hoover again ♪"
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"[ Archie ] ♪ didn't need no welfare state ♪"
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"[ Edith ] ♪ everybody pulled his weight ♪"
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"♪ those were the days ♪"
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"Why are you cookin' garments ?"
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"Gloria's boilin' one of Mike's shirts."
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"The dye in it was giving him a rash."
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"Why don't you boil him instead ?"
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"Dye. Give me somethin' to take the taste out of my mouth."
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"What'd you make here, instant coffee ?"
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"No, it's fresh perked. Well, it tastes like instant."
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"It's fresh perked, though. Okay, it's fresh perked, but it tastes like instant."
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"I heard you. But it's fresh perked."
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"I accept that it's fresh perked !"
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"But it tastes like instant, huh ?"
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"We got nothin' for lunch but crackers here ? Gloria went to the market."
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"You know we always do a big shopping every Saturday morning."
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"Every Saturday. God forbid one week you do it on a Friday."
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"It'll wharf your whole personality."
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"Hey, you. Get away from that tv set."
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"You know I watch football highlights every week at this time."
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"I know, but channel 13 is rerunning that special on pollution with Jack lemmon."
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"When I want to learn anything about pollution,"
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"I don't have to learn it from no millionaire actor who's got nothin' better to do..."
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"Than sit on his duff dreamin' up causes."
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"let him unpollute the movies-- all them nudies."
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"Archie, you're always watching football."
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"I think it's important that we learn about our polluted environment."
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"You're pollutin' my environment."
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"Now, get away from my set."
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"Can't we at least sit down like rational people and discuss this ?"
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"Discuss. Why with you has always everything gotta be like a meetin' ?"
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"Because in a meeting people sit down together and exchange ideas."
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"Okay. Okay. Sit down, then, huh ?"
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"Now, let me hear your idea again. Okay."
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"I want us to watch Jack lemmon and a group of famous scientists..."
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"Discuss pollution and ecology on channel 13."
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"Good. And I wanna watch football highlights on channel 2."
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"Now, guess what's gonna happen."
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"Hey, Edith, let me have some beer in here."
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"[ Edith ] What do you want, bottle or can ?"
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"We never buy bottles."
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"I'll bring you a can."
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"Oh, what a dingbat."
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"All right, now, here it is. Now, keep quiet. [ Tv: Crowd cheering ]"
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"The giants and the rams."
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"There they go-- hey! Hey ! Hey ! Look at that spook run !"
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"Can they move ! It's in their blood."
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"If you're talkin' about a black man, would you call him that, huh ?"
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"- And what do you mean, running like that is in his blood ? - Well, it is."
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"He got that from his forefathers when he was runnin' through the jungle."
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"You know ? Through thorns and thickets, barefooted, with a tiger on his butt."
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"You know everything about the black man, boy."
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"Well, more than you."
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"I used to know a whole flock of them in the old neighborhood."
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"There was a guy, roundtree cumberbatch,"
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"him and me used to be close buddies."
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"You never knew anybody by that name."
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"You just made it up."
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"I made up a name like roundtree cumberbatch ? Yeah. Yeah."
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"You made it up to put down a black man. What are you tellin' me ?"
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"That some of your coloreds don't have funny names ? Oh, yeah, sure they do."
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"Like Roy Wilkins, uh, Whitney young, uh, James Baldwin."
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"Yeah, or al jolson."
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"I heard of all them guys."
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"They got plenty of your roundtree cumberbatches too."
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"They named 'em after Pullman cars and railroad stations."
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"Come on. You don't believe me ? It's a fact. Look it up."
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"All right, Edith, leave it there."
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"Hi. I'm back. It's about time."
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"Let me help you. Wait till you see what I got here."
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"That rash you got from the dye, Michael ? That decided me."
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"So I stopped off at the health food store and got some natural foods."
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"Anything for sandwiches ? You can't get anything more natural than baloney."
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"What do you got here ?"
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""Organic eggs" ?"
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""Tiger's milk." What's that ?"
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""Wheat germ oil.""
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""Decimated liver--""
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"what is all this garbage ?"
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"Where's my crunchy cereal with the animal cutouts on the box ?"
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"They say there's no nutritional value in that cereal, daddy."
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"Nutritionally, that cereal-- zilch."
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"Zilch, huh ? Have you any idea the famous athletes and coaches that were brung up on that ?"
All in the Family
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