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Clips from Chappelle's Show - Episode #2.9 (S02E02)

"Yeah, yeah."
Chappelle's Show
"(announcer) Dave Chappelle!"
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"Man."
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"You know, ah..."
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"And all this stuff."
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"because I'll think about anything"
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"Monkey."
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"Some good-ass cheese."
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"Bob Eubanks-lookin' motherfucker,"
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"the real Black Sheep"
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"I'm the Black Sheep, the real Black Sheep"
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"Waitress, get this nigga something to drink."
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"I would love to hear 'em."
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"All right, well, instead of calling him Colt 45,"
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"...instead of the space shuttle,"
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"(thinking) You know who I'd love to have sex with..."
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"Do-dl-le do-dl-le do-de-le-lo"
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"do-dl-le do-dl-le do-de-le-lo..."
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"(applauding)"
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"(ringing phone)"
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"Oh, hey what's up girl?"
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"But I'm going to need you to send me a ticket."
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"Oprah... I love you, baby."
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"the good news tomorrow,"
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"and I'll see you in Chicago."
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"(laughing)"
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"it's what's gotten into Oprah:"
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"Morgan."
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"It's Bruce Lee's brother."
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"(screaming)"
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"(Oprah) Hello."
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"Be out in a minute, sweetie."
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"I gettin' my turn at bat..."
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"Hey, everybody, it's the lady that made it all possible."
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"I'm gonna take it from the top."
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"Hello."
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"No, fuck that, I don't care what y'all had."
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"(Oprah) Dave, honey, who was that on the phone?"
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"Huh... baby, it's nobody."
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"Oprah! (echoing)"
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"We'll be right back with more Chappelle show."
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"friend of mine, Neal Brennan,"
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"we always have this on-going discussion."
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"is because I never think they're guilty."
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"To me, it's all about reasonable doubt."
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"What's reasonable doubt to a white person, you know,"
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"If they had me on jury selection"
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"Damn."
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"Detective Mark Fuhrman was one of the lead detectives"
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"I bet you can't."
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"But as a person who says "nigger" a lot,"
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"That nigga says "nigger" all the time."
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"Exactamundo!"
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"You're dismissed."
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"You gotta look in the eyes, not the noses."
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"What? Huh?"
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"but I bet you that I could describe it."
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"Whoa, how'd I know?"
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"So you do you think Michael Jackson"
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"He made Thriller..."
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"Like 80 times."
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"Look, look, check this out."
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"That piss was digital."
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"lovers wanna love..."
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"Aren't your doubts unreasonable?"
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"Look, we're talking about a justice system"
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"Nicole Simpson can't rap."
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"And that's from the heart."
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"and part of one of my favorite groups."
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"buried on Sunday"
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"an old man told me"
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"we can use some of that money"
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"assassinated on Saturday"
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"I'd get elected on Friday"
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"the children the truth"
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"That's good."
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"Chappelle's Show."
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"Oww."
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"Woo-hoo-hoo."
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"Woo-hoo."
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"What's up?"
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"What's up on the top."
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"there's two things that start happening to me a lot now,"
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"since I started the second season."
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"One, like, when I walk down the street,"
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"people always scream stuff out."
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"Like I'll be with my kids and people be like,"
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""I'm Rick James, bitch.""
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"The other thing that happens,"
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"and which I think is the worst,"
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"is when people come up to me and try to give me ideas"
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"for the show."
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"Send them shits through the proper channels, all right."
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"Now, I'm not saying I'm not open,"
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"just pick your spots."
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"As a matter of fact, if you knew"
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"what was going through my mind"
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"when you pitch me that kind of stuff,"
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"you wouldn't even talk to me,"
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"but what you're talking about."
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"For example..."
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"I love you, baby."
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"Oh, I know you do."
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"Come here girl, give me some."
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"Excuse me, I hate to interrupt,"
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"but I just had to say hello."
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"Hey, man, how you doing?"
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"Is this a bad time?"
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"You kinda caught me in the middle of something with..."
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"cool."
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"So, I'm sure you get this all the time,"
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"but I have the perfect idea for you."
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"It's a movie."
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"Is it cool if I sit down?"
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"This'll only take a minute."
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"I'm Frank Feldman."
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"You kind of caught me and the wife at a bad time."
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"We were just... it's a love story."
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"You play an underground street poet named Colt 45."
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"He's a rebel with a big heart."
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