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Clips from How I Met Your Mother (2005) - Romance (S01E01)

"Okay. I'm psyched about this. But if I'm gonna mentor you,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I need to know you're psyched about this, too."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Oh, I am. I'm psyched."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Yeah, but it's one thing to say it. It's another thing to show it."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Show it."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"What was that?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Marshall, I should feel tremors of psychetude"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"rock my body like a seizure."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Wow, that was really specific. - Show me you're psyched!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Let's do this!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- That hurt! - So badly!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"And then you slip it to the guy with a discreet handshake,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- and he'll get it done. - Right."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Whatever. - Cool. And what guy is this?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- There's always a guy. - Okay. All right. I, uh..."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- I think I'm ready. - You sure?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You want to practice your story one more time?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"All right."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"So, dude, check it. I'm in San Diego with two of my brosephs from Kappa,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"and they're all, "Yo, Eriksen, let's roll to the strip clubs!""
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"So, I'm like, "A-snappa-doo!""
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"So we find this choice nudie nest near the airport."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"And that is when the bouncer kicked us out."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Now, I have no idea if Svetlana ever got her green card,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"but, dudes, fake diamond ring?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Worth every penny, bro."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Awesome, bro. - Yeah. Yeah."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Get out! - Great story."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"OLDER TED; The next morning, I was about to buy my ticket to Germany,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"when I got an e-mail,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Uh-oh."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
""Hey, Ted. Sorry I missed your call last night."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
""This long-distance thing sucks, huh?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
""Listen, I've been thinking and I really need to talk to you tonight."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
""I'll call you at 11:00. Victoria.""
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- So? - So, she's gonna dump me."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"and then followed it up with something good?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"It's not like, "Listen, I've been thinking, Nutter Butters are an underrated cookie.""
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"What could she possibly have to say to me that she couldn't write in an e-mail?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I cut off all my fingers."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Ted, you're a great guy. I know it. You know it. She knows it."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I would bet you a floppity jillion dollars that she's not calling to break up with you."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Thanks. You're right. I'm being crazy."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"So I should still buy that plane ticket, right?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I'd wait."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"MARSHALL: 'Sup, Blauman. E-Bomb here."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"We still on for karaoke?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Dope!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I'm gonna rock you on the mike so hard your ears are gonna bleed gravy."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Catch you on the flip, butt puppet."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- What do you think? - Steak sauce."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Yeah, look, you know,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"whatever anthropology you do at work is your business."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"But, please, don't act like that around here."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Lily, when Doctor Aurelia Birnholz..."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"No, when Dr. Australia Birdbath-Vaseline came home from the gorillas,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"she didn't run around picking nits out of people's hair"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"and throwing feces."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I'm begging you. Just leave it at the office."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Why?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Because you're acting like one of those guys,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"and those guys are lame."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Okay, those guys were mean at first, yes. But they're actually good guys,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Look, come karaoke with us tonight,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"and you'll see how totally not that lame they are."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"But, wait. Knock, knock, back door."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"What do you do? Go."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Dude, Scarlett Johansson with no arms any day of the week!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You're right. They're delightful."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"So, Barney, you gonna sing anything?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(EXCLAIMS)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I'm so over karaoke."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Oh, don't get me wrong. I'm good. The best, really."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"But it's the greatest samurai who lets his sword rust in its scabbard."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Oh, baby, they have our song. Let's do Don't Go Breaking My Heart,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"What?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Don't Go Breaking My Heart, Elton John. Kiki Dee."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"No way."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Well, actually, Marshall and I have this little dance routine we do..."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Iron Man, I could do Iron Man,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Steak sauce. - Steak sauce, dude."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Should we tell him?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"All right, Eriksen, I've got some good news."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"On Monday, Bilson and I are gonna talk to Montague in HR."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"When you graduate, we want you working with us."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"What do you say?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Yes! - My man!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- I told you he would. - BILSON: We are gonna have a hoot."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- We're gonna own the office. - Steak sauce."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Okay, that was gross."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"When were you gonna tell me you changed your entire career path?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Nothing has changed, okay? I still want to help the environment."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I just thought that maybe I can make some money for a few years."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"We could buy an apartment, send our kids to good schools."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"but I love you and I want to give it to you anyway."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I want to give you the package."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You've already given me the package. You've got a great package, Marshall."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I love your package."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Lily, you're the most incredible woman I know"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"and you deserve a big package."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"but you've got a huge package."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(MUSIC PLAYING)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Yeah."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Hello? - Why hasn't she called yet?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Okay, you're making yourself crazy."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"It's Saturday night. Go out and do something."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"No, what's the point of going out? I got a girlfriend. For now."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Besides, if I go out, who's gonna watch the news?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I'm like half your viewership."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Oh, I'm flattered you think we have two viewers."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"She's not gonna break up with you, Ted. You're awesome."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Thanks. Anyway, it's almost 11:00. I should let you go."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Break a leg."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"OLDER TED; And so, as I sat at home, waiting for the phone to ring,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"something occurred to me,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I'm actually sitting at home, waiting for the phone to ring."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(MAN SINGING)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Marshall. - Hey."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Dude, I feel like I haven't seen you in a month."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Yeah."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
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