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Clips from NewsRadio - Padded Suit (S05E05)

"I-I hate my job. I hate them."
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"And I hate myself."
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"[SIGHING]: No."
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"The only question that remains, Lisa, is..."
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"Which one to fire?"
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"Okay."
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"For argument's sake, which one were you thinking of?"
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"Matthew,"
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"Beth would be great. I could fire--"
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"Sorry, Dave, I was wondering if I could borrow"
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"five dollars for lunch."
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"I would treat myself to a glass of wine, heh, heh."
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"Beth? Yeah?"
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"Why don't you just--"
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"Oh, okay. That's nice, thank you."
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"Take as much you want. Great."
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"Actually, what about the wine in your drawer?"
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"Touch that wine, I'll break your arm. Okay."
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"of dealing with this."
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"I prefer terror."
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"Look, why don't you just"
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"give them all a simple task?"
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"Say, writing up a job description."
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"And then hold them to it."
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"Well, it requires them to think about what they have to do."
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"And it helps you."
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"Ah-huh, what if they fail?"
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"Then you can fire them."
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"Fire them all. But they won't fail."
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"I won't let them, okay?"
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"Ah-huh, yes. That's delightful."
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"The axe hangs, but it does not fall."
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"Not yet."
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"Oh, you mean like, eh,"
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"defective marshmallow finder?"
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"No. Not your dream job."
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"You guys need to just write down"
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"descriptions of your real jobs."
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"If Dave wants us to write our job descriptions,"
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"why doesn't he ask us himself?"
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"[SIGHS]"
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"seems to have drawn a smiley face on his,"
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"and for some reason"
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"pinned it to the back of his shirt."
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"Okay, Joe, listen. You know my style, right?"
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"I mean, I darted, I weaved, I dodged."
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"Finessed your eye right upside some little girl's fist."
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"[CHUCKLES]"
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"For the last time, Joe, she wasn't little."
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"She was 15, okay?"
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"Maybe 14. All right. Yeah."
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"O-or a very tall 13, but..."
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"All right. All right. Whatever."
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"[SCREAMS]"
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"It's not karate."
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"Well, yeah. It's kung fu."
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"It's not kung fu."
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"No? What is it?"
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"Joe-jitsu?"
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"Yes."
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"It's a special blend"
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"of three unrelated martial arts."
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"Plus some other crap I made up."
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"Let's clear the table-- Yeah. Me, too."
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"I got into a bit of a scrape"
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"at a Stevie Nick'' concert."
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"What? No. No."
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"No, I've got a rule against teaching my friends."
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"Sooner or later they think they can take on the master."
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"Then I have to slap them down."
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"Lilith Fair is just around the corner."
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"[♪]"
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"Mother's Day chocolate?"
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"B-but you, uh."
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"It's a little early, but okay."
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"Yeah, okay. Good."
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"Mother's Day is a joke. Ah."
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"All right, all right, all year long."
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"Our mothers, they give and they give, and they give,"
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"and what do we give back? What?"
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"Cheap chocolates?"
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"That's right. You got that right."
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"We try to buy them off."
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"With, with a cheap holiday"
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"and then ignore them the rest of the year."
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"It's a crutch, Dave."
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"It is a crutch,"
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"with a metal spike on the end that pierces"
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"It has got to stop, Dave."
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"Sir? Yeah?"
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"You can, you can be a good son every damn day,"
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"not just one day."
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"No, do it right now."
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"No, I said now. Okey, here he is."
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"What?"
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"Yes. Yes, please. All right."
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"Fine, from now on, you will no longer refer to me"
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"as Joe Garelli, your co-worker."
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"BOTH: Yes, Master Joe."
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"Good. Now fight."
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"Oh, don't, don't. Oh."
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"I think it's well documented we both fight like girls."
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"Actually, I fight"
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"a little bit worse than a girl, heh."
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"Look, if I want to design a course of study appropriate"
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"for your specific needs, I've to see you fight."
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"I understand."
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"[SIGHS]"
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"for the stinging blades--"
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"What? What?"
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"--of the windmill."
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"Oh, my Gooo..."
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"Come on, Max. Fight."
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"Can't."
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"[PANTING]"
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"Heart...pounding."
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"Joe?"
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"[♪]"
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"Time to stop the evil scheming,"
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"Dr. Nefarious."
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