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Clips from NewsRadio - Padded Suit (S05E05)

In my mind,

"In my mind,"

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I've already fired each of them a hundred times.

"I've already fired each of them a hundred times."

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I just wanted to inform you that your staff

"I just wanted to inform you that your staff"

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has completed their job descriptions.

"has completed their job descriptions."

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Really? Yes.

"Really? Yes."

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Oh.

"Oh."

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Hm-mm. Let's have a look.

"Hm-mm. Let's have a look."

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Ooh, jeez, I...

"Ooh, jeez, I..."

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Well, that's just mine.

"Well, that's just mine."

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Oh.

"Oh."

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Well, I like to be thorough.

"Well, I like to be thorough."

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And for more specifics on that,

"And for more specifics on that,"

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you can see pages 10 through 14.

"you can see pages 10 through 14."

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Ah-huh. Yes. Yes.

"Ah-huh. Yes. Yes."

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And, uh, what about the others?

"And, uh, what about the others?"

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They're coming.

"They're coming."

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But I just wanted to set an example and be first.

"But I just wanted to set an example and be first."

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Uh, yeah.

"Uh, yeah."

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why don't we, uh, have a staff meeting,

"why don't we, uh, have a staff meeting,"

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together as a group?

"together as a group?"

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Great, okey, I mean,

"Great, okey, I mean,"

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Uh, go through it.

"Uh, go through it."

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No, I'll say 10 minutes.

"No, I'll say 10 minutes."

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Great.

"Great."

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BETH: Why don't you dump them here on Dave's.

"BETH: Why don't you dump them here on Dave's."

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Amateur production of Fahrenheit 451?

"Amateur production of Fahrenheit 451?"

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No, Dave. These are all the Mother's Day cards

"No, Dave. These are all the Mother's Day cards"

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from the drug store downstairs.

"from the drug store downstairs."

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Sir, I had no idea you were that uncertain of your parentage.

"Sir, I had no idea you were that uncertain of your parentage."

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We're burning them.

"We're burning them."

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Do you know that Mr. James

"Do you know that Mr. James"

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has people across the country buying--

"has people across the country buying--"

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And destroying. Right.

"And destroying. Right."

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Every box of chocolates. Any floral arrangement.

"Every box of chocolates. Any floral arrangement."

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Sir, uh, I- I thought you were in favor of motherhood.

"Sir, uh, I- I thought you were in favor of motherhood."

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One hundred percent, USDA Prime Momma's boy right here.

"One hundred percent, USDA Prime Momma's boy right here."

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All right. Let me explain my plan to you.

"All right. Let me explain my plan to you."

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Step one: Get rid of Mother's Day.

"Step one: Get rid of Mother's Day."

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Step two: All the mommas cry.

"Step two: All the mommas cry."

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BOTH: They cry.

"BOTH: They cry."

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Then step three--

"Then step three--"

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This is the most important part.

"This is the most important part."

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--Everybody feels guilty.

"--Everybody feels guilty."

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They realize that they should honor their mothers every day.

"They realize that they should honor their mothers every day."

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Beth help me in there?

"Beth help me in there?"

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Oh, I need to talk to Dave for just a second.

"Oh, I need to talk to Dave for just a second."

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Okey-dokey. Okey.

"Okey-dokey. Okey."

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Yeah, that's right, Beth. I did.

"Yeah, that's right, Beth. I did."

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This is the entire job description?

"This is the entire job description?"

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Uh, yeah, I make a pot of coffee every morning.

"Uh, yeah, I make a pot of coffee every morning."

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Oh, come on, Beth. There has to be more to it than that.

"Oh, come on, Beth. There has to be more to it than that."

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Mm-hm. --I make a second pot.

"Mm-hm. --I make a second pot."

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that allow a person to see behind them,

"that allow a person to see behind them,"

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What happened to your eye?

"What happened to your eye?"

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That's not true.

"That's not true."

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Dave?

"Dave?"

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He did, in this memo.

"He did, in this memo."

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All right, it's your funeral.

"All right, it's your funeral."

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Are you insane?

"Are you insane?"

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[PANTING]

"[PANTING]"

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why don't you take some time to read that?

"why don't you take some time to read that?"

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And we have a staff meeting at say, 4:00?

"And we have a staff meeting at say, 4:00?"

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BOTH: Oh, destroying them.

"BOTH: Oh, destroying them."

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All right. Well, then destroying Mother's Day is--

"All right. Well, then destroying Mother's Day is--"

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This is, this is, this is it?

"This is, this is, this is it?"

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So what? It's better than learning

"So what? It's better than learning"

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How many would you like?

"How many would you like?"

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I mean, he's really, really fed up.

"I mean, he's really, really fed up."

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[♪]

"[♪]"

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"Mommas of the world unite.

""Mommas of the world unite."

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Um, everyone?

"Um, everyone?"

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Here you go, Dave.

"Here you go, Dave."

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I've described scenarios for firing them individually.

"I've described scenarios for firing them individually."

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It is thorough. It is logical. It is decisive.

"It is thorough. It is logical. It is decisive."

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Master Joe, help me.

"Master Joe, help me."

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Oh, wow, look at the break room.

"Oh, wow, look at the break room."

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folded up and put in your pocket

"folded up and put in your pocket"

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Ah.

"Ah."

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That tickled a little bit.

"That tickled a little bit."

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Hello.

"Hello."

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Dave?

"Dave?"

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[♪]

"[♪]"

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[♪]

"[♪]"

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Joe helped.

"Joe helped."

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Ah. Oh.

"Ah. Oh."

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I don't even know what a "collate" is.

"I don't even know what a "collate" is."

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Well, thanks for nothing.

"Well, thanks for nothing."

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My big padded suit.

"My big padded suit."

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Oh, my God, Dave. They've broken you.

"Oh, my God, Dave. They've broken you."

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Obnoxious mouthing off is the cornerstone of Joe-jitsu.

"Obnoxious mouthing off is the cornerstone of Joe-jitsu."

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And remember, Yo Momma March."

"And remember, Yo Momma March.""

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Sir--

"Sir--"

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Well, don't think it.

"Well, don't think it."

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It is really good. You know, Lisa,

"It is really good. You know, Lisa,"

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[♪]

"[♪]"

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Rage Against the Machine?

"Rage Against the Machine?"

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[SIGHS]

"[SIGHS]"

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Prolong the terror, yes.

"Prolong the terror, yes."

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[♪]

"[♪]"

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without even reading, and Matthew,

"without even reading, and Matthew,"

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You want me to teach you?

"You want me to teach you?"

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I gotta see how you fight.

"I gotta see how you fight."

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We got lots more holiday to destroy.

"We got lots more holiday to destroy."

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Ahh, Lisa said you wanted me to write up my job description.

"Ahh, Lisa said you wanted me to write up my job description."

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Oh, yeah, sometimes in the middle of the afternoon--

"Oh, yeah, sometimes in the middle of the afternoon--"

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Oh, God. Dave?

"Oh, God. Dave?"

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