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Clips from NewsRadio - Padded Suit (S05E05)

"No, no, no offense, Joe."
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"But, I mean, I got the big padded suit."
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"Joe-jitsu's not gay."
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"Thanks a lot for your time, Joe."
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"But I'm not requiring your services any longer."
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"Hey, who's gonna be my dojo buddy?"
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"[♪]"
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"Yeah, see how it feels, Lisa? To have no one listen to you?"
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"I don't even understand why we have to write"
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"these so-called "job descriptions" anyway."
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"I mean, you know what we do, Dave."
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"True. Oh, and if you don't know,"
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"well, then perhaps you're the one"
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"that's a bit of a goldbricker."
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"Again with the clipboard."
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"You guys, really. I mean, is it so much to ask?"
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"No, it is not so much to ask."
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"Well, why does he need them?"
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"Well, for three reasons. First of all,"
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"no one here seems to know"
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"what they're supposed to do or how to do it."
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"Secondly, it's standard business procedure."
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"And third, because he said so."
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"Is that it? Three reasons? That's not very many."
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"Well, I don't know. But three?"
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"I mean, as far as numbers go, that's like the third smallest."
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"I don't think you guys are getting this. It's very serious."
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"He told me that by the end of the day"
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"he's gonna fire somebody."
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"ALL: It's gonna be Matthew."
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"Wait, hold it. He can't fire me."
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"Because I got the suit."
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"I'm invincible."
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"Sorry to interrupt your tae kwon Joe session but--"
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"Tae kwon what?"
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"It's called Joe-jitsu, Lisa."
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"The 15-fold path to enlightenment."
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"Well, I don't think I'm cut out for this."
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"I'm gonna have to ask you. Really it's beg you"
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"one last time, will you please--"
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"Lisa, again with the job descriptions."
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"I mean, come on. Even if Dave goes totally psycho"
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"you don't think he'll fire somebody, do you?"
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"Well, what if he does? Well, what if it's you?"
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"What are you, high?"
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"I would feel really stupid"
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"if the one thing that would prevent you"
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"from getting fired is a simple little job description."
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"So just please do it."
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"Well, prepare to feel stupid."
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"Good one, Max."
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"A stalled truck is blocking traffic"
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"in the left lane of the Manhattan Bridge."
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"More after this."
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"What are you doing?"
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"Shh, shh."
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"[CLEARS THROAT]"
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""Mother's Day is a sham. I say, a sham"
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""perpetrated by bad children. I repeat, bad children."
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""So let's give America a spanking, shall we?"
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""Join me, Jimmy James, on this so-called Mother's Day"
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"in the first annual Million Mommas March.""
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""Marching Mommas meet at 2:00 at the Capitol Dome."
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"This is WNYX. More after this."
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"See, Lisa, the dream lives on."
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"Mother's Day will be abolished in our lifetimes."
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"A million marching mommas can't be wrong."
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"Well, sir, do you know how you're gonna handle the details?"
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"Like the food and lodging, facilities--"
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"Yeah. That's the genius of my plan, see?"
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"The mommas do all that."
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"Yeah, they love figuring all that stuff out."
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"And then when it's all over, they clean up."
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"The job descriptions."
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"Ah, good. More fuel for my wrath."
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"No, no. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised."
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"You didn't write these, did you?"
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"Do what? Well, see, I just,"
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"I'd hate to think that a highly-motivated"
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"go-getter like yourself was wasting her time"
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"covering for ne'er-do-wells."
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"Mm-hm. All right."
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"Well, what do you say we go check these out?"
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"Sure. Go ahead. I'm gonna go."
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"I don't care. Go ahead. All right. Sure. Okay."
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"Hey. Come on. Hey."
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"Hey, hey, everybody."
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"I just want to apologize, you know?"
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"I obviously got you guys all wrong. I mean, these,"
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"these detailed and articulate job descriptions"
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"clearly show your professionalism"
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"and your dedication to the work."
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"I mean, I don't know what I can say except bravo."
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"And for you, Max, brava."
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"Thank you. I worked very hard on that."
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"Well, that much is clear, Max."
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"And now that you are all warmed up,"
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"what do you say you cart those promos for me, huh?"
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"Cart? What? You know?"
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"Oh, yes. Cart the promos."
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"Yes, I can do that."
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"Oh, I know you can, Max."
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"And, uh, Beth?"
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"More coffee, Dave? No, got one."
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"Beth, why don't you just do"
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"numbers one through five on your list, okay?"
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"Yeah, okay. I'll get right on that."
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"Terrific. Terrific."
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"You guys can start at the top of your lists."
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"Start working your way down and I'll get back to you, okay?"
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"Thanks, everybody."
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"He was going to randomly fire somebody."
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"You know, Lisa, usually we go along"
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"with your little harebrained schemes."
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"But collate invoices?"
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"[♪]"
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"What's the matter? Did you run out of lighter fluid?"
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"No. You know Yo Momma March? It ain't happening."
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"Well, apparently"
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"mommas like Mother's Day."
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