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Clips from The Simpsons - Mother Simpson (S07E07)

"Oh!"
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"You awful, awful man!"
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"- Get out of my son's grave! - I hate to rain on your parade, lady."
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"But this is my grave. Hey-Wait a minute!"
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"- Mom? - Homer?"
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"- I thought you were dead. - I thought you were dead."
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"Well, dang blast it! Isn't anybody in this dad-gummed cemetery dead?"
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"I didn't want to cause a fuss, but now that you mention it."
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"Oh."
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"Some people say I look like Dan Aykroyd."
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"I can't believe you're here."
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"Dad always told me you died while I was at the movies."
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"Oh! Oh, my poor baby."
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"You must've been so upset."
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"But I suppose Abe had his reasons."
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"Yeah. Well, where have you been all this time?"
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"Let's just enjoy this moment."
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"Mom, there's something you should know about me."
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"I almost always spoil the moment."
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"- I'm sorry. - That's okay, darling."
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"It wasn't your fault."
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"Hey, everybody! I got a big surprise for you!"
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"Presenting... my mother!"
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"- Can you believe it? - I thought she was-"
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"- Hello. - This is so weird."
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"It's like something out of Dickens. Or Melrose Place."
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"Where have you been, Granny? They freeze you or something?"
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"Oh, my! Such clever grandchildren."
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"So full of questions and bright, shiny eyes."
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"I don't know what to say. I finally have a mother-in-law."
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"No more living vicariously through my girlfriends."
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"Hey!"
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"Since you were a no-show at all the big moments of my life..."
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"you owe me years of back presents!"
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"Christmases, birthdays, Easters, Kwanzaas, good report cards."
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"Hmm, 75 bucks a pop plus interest and penalties."
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"You owe me... $22,000."
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"I'll Kwanzaa you.!"
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"Homer, don't be so hard on little-"
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"What is his name?"
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"This is my room. This is my dresser."
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"It's where I keep my shirts when I'm not wearing them."
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"Oh, yes. Right in the drawers."
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"Oh, I've missed moments like this..."
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"I saw all your awards, Lisa. They're mighty impressive."
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"Aw, I just keep 'em out to bug Bart."
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"Don't be bashful. When I was your age..."
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"kids made fun of me because I read at the ninth-grade level."
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"- Me too! - Hey, Mom!"
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"Look at me! Look at what I can do!"
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"I see you, Homer. That's very nice."
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"Although, I hardly consider A Separate Peace the ninth-grade level."
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"Yeah, more like preschool."
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"- I hateJohn Knowles. - Me too."
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"Mom, you're not looking!"
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"You know, Lisa, I feel like I have an instant rapport with you."
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"You didn't dumb it down."
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"You said "rapport. ""
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"Gotta run! Grandma stuff!"
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"Huh?"
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"- What? - All right. We don't need the dryer."
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"- What? - Just shut up and listen!"
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"There's something fishy about Grandma."
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"Whenever we ask her where she's been all this time, she changes the subject."
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"Yeah, I don't trust her either."
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"I was going through her purse. Look what I found."
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""Mona Simpson. Mona Stevens."
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""Martha Stewart. Penelope Olsen."
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"Muddy Mae Suggins?""
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"I never realized how much I missed her."
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"- She's nice. - But?"
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"about the woman who abandoned you for 25 years."
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"- You could get hurt again. - First, it wasn't 25 years."
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"It was 27 years. And second, she had a very good reason."
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"- Which was? - I don't know."
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"I guess I was just a horrible son and no mother would want me."
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"Come on! You're a sweet, kind, loving man."
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"I'm sure you were a wonderful son."
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"- Then why did she leave me? - Let's find out."
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"Mother Simpson, we'd like to ask you a few questions about your past."
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"Can't reminisce. Sleeping."
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"Spill it, Muddy Mae, or we're calling the cops!"
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"- Please don't! - All right. Then we'll call your husband."
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"- Grampa! - No! I'll talk!"
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"I'll tell you everything. I've wanted to tell you."
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"It all started in the '60s."
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"Mom! Mom!"
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"Mom!"
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"Oh, my little Homie Bear."
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"- Time for bed. - Sing me my bedtime song, Mom."
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"Mm."
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"Darn tootin'!"
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"Here's the tricky part."
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"Abe, isn't Homer cute?"
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"Probably. I'm trying to watch the Super Bowl."
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"If people don't support this thing, it might not make it."
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"Joe Willie Namath swaggering off the field..."
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"his sideburns an apogee of sculpted "sartorium"-"
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"the foppish follicles pioneered by Ambrose Burnside..."
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"His wild, untamed facial hair..."
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"revealed a new world of rebellion, of change-"
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"But Abe was stuck in his button-down..."
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"Look at them sideburns! He looks like a girl."
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"Now, Johnny Unitas- there's a haircut you could set your watch to."
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"So, Mother Simpson, where did your newfound sense of irresponsibility take you?"
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"Anthrax, gangrene, swimmer's ear."
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"Get your germ lab out of here!"
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"- Now! Now! How could I not become a radical..."
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"when we were fighting a force of pure evil?"
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"Hey, hey, Mr. Burns.! Enough already with the germs."
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"Ptooh their flower power-"
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"it's no match for my glower power."
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"We'd met the enemy, and it was Montgomery Burns."
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"Drastic action had to be taken to stop his war machine."
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"I put Homer to bed, Abe. And now I'm going out."
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"- It could be a late night. I'm meeting my destiny. - So long."
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"When this baby goes off, Burns's lab is gonna be history, man!"
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"Germ history!"
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"Oh, man! I got the munchies."
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"Acne... remains. But asthma disappearing."
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