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Clips from The Simpsons - Sleeping with the Enemy (S16E16)

"I know. It's such an unrealistic standard for young..."
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"Planing down the thighs,"
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"I make four bucks an hour planing down the thighs."
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"I don't look so bad."
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"Don't worry, Lisa. You can still find someone to love you."
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"Now you've got no choice."
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"He sure is..."
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"if he can keep up with these party animals."
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"Aunt Patty, Aunt Selma, Grandma Bouvier and..."
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"Grampa."
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"Plus your school-yard chums:"
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"Bart's my bestest boyfriend."
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"Oh Mom, this guest list sucks."
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"It's the best I could do on such short notice."
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"He's got the measles."
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"But we've got him on speakerphone."
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"Rock on."
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"You know, the first time I met Bart was at recess in first grade..."
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"Oh, I told him to use a land line."
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"Okay, gang, let's get this party started."
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"or should I say Barted?"
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"For our first game,"
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"I need everyone to draw a picture of President Eisenhower."
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"Their relationship was frosty at best."
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"Duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck,..."
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"Say "goose," you stupid freak."
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"Oh, Mom, this was the worst party ever."
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"Honey, sit down. Have a big slice of cake."
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"How could you say that to me?"
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"Lisa, wait..."
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"Hello? Hello?"
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"I had to leave 'cause my French bread pizza dinged."
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"Duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck,..."
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"So what? It's not like he gives us such great gifts."
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"What was that?"
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"That was crap."
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"The kids don't appreciate me anymore."
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"hundreds of thousands of hours,"
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"No!"
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"No, I've got a lot more mothering left in me."
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"Then I'll take you to the zoo."
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"We can eat fries out of a safari hat!"
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"No, thanks. I'm going to stay in the library and do a little reading."
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"Mom, after that lame party you threw,"
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"I'd rather hang out with thunder-thighs here."
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"They grow up so fast."
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"If a child doesn't do it now, it may never happen."
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"Seymour! Do you want your vitamin in applesauce?"
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"Stop struggling and get in my mouth, jerks!"
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"Oh, yeah. Bart Simpson."
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"Technically, brunch."
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"Well, here, take this."
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"My daughter didn't want the lunch I made."
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"This sandwich rocks."
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"My tadpoles seem crude by comparison."
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"You're nocturnal."
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"You don't have to impress me by making fun of others."
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"I already like you."
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"I'm starting to let down my guard."
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"Thanks, Mrs. S."
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"Today didn't totally suck nard."
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"Whatever."
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"Mom?!"
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"Nelson? I thought you were sleeping in the park tonight."
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"Oh, that's okay, the kid don't bother me none."
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"Hey, Nelson, say hello to Moe."
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"He said he'd take you camping sometime."
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"Hey, kids,"
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"You know what that means?"
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"Whaddya say?"
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"Bart, Lisa and..."
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"Mom."
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"Mom, when I want lame and needy, I'll call Milhouse."
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"Fine!"
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"I'll take my mothering elsewhere."
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"Wow, hot dogs are awesome!"
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"No, but I saw some in a catalog once."
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"People in sweaters were eating them at a picnic."
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"but her dream is to go to Vegas and work in a real strip club."
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"And, uh, where's your dad in all this?"
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"He went out for a pack of cigarettes and never came back."
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"He said "smell ya later,""
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"but he never smelled me again."
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"I have some odd jobs my kids won't do."
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"Yeah."
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"I get the feeling Bart isn't everything he could be in the son department."
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"Sometimes I think he's more interested in his "Itchy and Mitchy" cartoons than me."
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"I'm sure it's just a phase,"
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"That's how we get our Kaypro."
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"64, 65, 66..."
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"Are you counting how many days it takes to wash your big butt?"
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"I can't hear you."
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"Neither does your butt."
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"I know this obsession with thinness is unhealthy.."
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"and anti-feminist..."
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"Now, I know there's a handsome young man behind all that hair and dirt."
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"Maybe not,"
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"I mean, ma'am."
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"Lisa, just take a bite."
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"One bite... That's all I ask!"
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"Now, I can't have toothpaste tonight."
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"Here's the money you gave my son."
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"We don't want your charity."
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"I didn't give your son charity."
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"Self-respect, huh?"
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"No wonder he came home with his vest all buttoned..."
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"like he was somebody."
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"and try not to have intercourse on the way!"
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"Nelson, what are you doing out this late?"
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"My mom ditched me!"
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"She went to Hollywood to be an actress,"
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"but her range is limited!"
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"She's still your mother."
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"Cow milk?!"
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"What are you doing in my jammies?"
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"I'm your new roommate. I call top bunk."
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"the reason God invented dead bolts..."
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"Bart, have you ever eaten a Tootsie Pop?"
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"You know, there's a tough, crunchy shell,"
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"but if you lick it, there's a delicious sweetness inside."
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