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Clips from What We Do in the Shadows - Ghosts (S02E02)

"(Nadja gasps)"
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"Oh, yes."
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"Jeff... Jesk."
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"So you are a ghost now, yes?"
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"My Nadja."
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"For an eternity, I have longed to hear"
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"your sweet, angelic voice say my name again."
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"Well, it's only been a few months since you died,"
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"but that's... Thank you, very nice."
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"I have missed you so."
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"Sorry, can I just stop you?"
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"It's really weird with you down there."
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"If you could-- Sorry, the head."
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"Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah."
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"-Put it back on the neck. Sorry, it's just... -Right, right, right, right."
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"-Duh. Ew. -Ugh. (chuckles)"
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"This is better, huh?"
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"So much better."
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"-Thanks. -So, Jesk, what can I..."
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"Um, sorry for not taking you seriously, my darling."
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"(scoffs) And what do you think about it now?"
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"What do I think about what?"
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"Jesk, say something."
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"Hey, thanks for cutting my head off."
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"-Again. You dick. -NADJA: Now, now."
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"He was just doing his husbandly duties."
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"Who are you talking to, my darling?"
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"Can't you see him?"
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"There's nobody there, my dear. Are you okay?"
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"-He's sitting right there. -There's no one there."
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"-But he's... -I'll, uh,"
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"just go back inside and leave you"
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"to, uh, talking to the air."
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"Shit."
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"Nandor!"
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"-There's a fucking ghost on the front lawn. -What?"
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"-Not you, too. -I couldn't believe it myself."
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"But what mine own eyes have seen, mine own eyes have seen."
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"I pretended I couldn't see it,"
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"which will give us the element of surprise."
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"-Okay. Okay. -We must act quickly."
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"Take the large one."
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"Yes, good idea."
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"Yeah, that's better."
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"Right, where's this fucking ghost?!"
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"(shouting)"
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"JEFF: ...ghost stuff."
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"Aah! Get ready to swallow my sword! (grunts)"
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"But it's... What the fuck?"
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"Whoa, shit."
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"-That's wild. -Thank you!"
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"-So, this... -You need to keep your voice down, otherwise"
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"-that thing will hear us. -I can hear you."
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"Now look what you've done."
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"-What is this gloopy shit? -Huh."
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"Looks like ectoplasm."
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"-Is that right? -(chuckling): I guess so."
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"-Is there any in my hair? -Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah."
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"Guillermo, tissue, please."
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"-COLIN: Quite a bit. -NANDOR: Fucking guy."
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"That thing needs to be gone."
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"He's not going to hurt us."
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"-You're not going to hurt them, right? -No."
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"I'm not gonna hurt you guys."
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"-I'm just here to scare you guys. -LASZLO: Bollocks."
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"-Well, we're not scared. -You should be scared of us."
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"-NADJA: Calm down. -Really?"
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"How about now?"
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"-Been there, done that. -JEFF: How about now?"
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"(roaring)"
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"(all screaming)"
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"NADJA: Cut it out!"
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"-Would you stop it!? -(chuckles)"
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"Pardon me, ghost."
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"Later, man. It was nice meeting you."
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"So here's the situation."
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"Every time my human ex-lover is reincarnated,"
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"our bodies call to one another."
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"But without a body, he's all Jesk and no Gregor."
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"And it stinks."
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"My unfinished business, how it torments me."
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"-Please, help me complete it so I may leave this plane. -Sure."
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"But what, exactly, do you want me to do?"
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"Just, like, swear that you'll help me..."
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"Do what?! No. I don't have time for this."
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"My husband is shitting himself down the road."
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"All right, all right. I love you."
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"-And a little to the left. -(groans)"
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"-It sort of looks like updog. -(hisses)"
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"(growls) These ghosts, what are they?"
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"NADJA: Humans have bodies."
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"And within the body resides the spirit."
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"When the human dies, the spirit is released."
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"And that spirit is a ghost!"
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"We are all dead, technically."
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"You, me and Laszlo."
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"Each of us died when we became vampires."
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"Colin Robinson I'm not so sure about."
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"But the three of us."
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"Yeah, I'm not positive what my deal is either,"
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"so I just sort of keep on truckin'."
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"But what is the point?"
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"If we are technically dead, like he says,"
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"could ghosts of us exist?"
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"No, but--"
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"Huh."
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"-Hmm. -Hmm."
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"Huh..."
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"-Not now. -Shut up."
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"Hootorektas e-'pay' k-elastero"
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"kath-eye-restho"
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"hon-'pear' hootorektas"
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"e-'pay' k-elastero apokatharet-eye."
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"Ooh, what the blazes?"
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"-(echoing): Where am I? -NADJA: Bloody hell."
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"(shouts in foreign language)"
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"-That looks like me. -What have you done?"
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"Get off me."
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"(ghosts speaking foreign languages)"
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"LASZLO: Be quiet."
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