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Clips from The Office - Golden Ticket (S05E05)

"Me, on the other hand, I would be lost without this place."
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"You, way too manly."
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"What about Shoe La La?"
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"(SIGHING) It's not ready yet."
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"And it's just mers shoes for the special occasions in a mars life."
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"May I have your attention, please? I have an announcement."
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"Mr. Dwight Schrute and I just returned from a wonderful stroll together."
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"And although I probably will never do it again, I had fun."
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"I really had fun with my best friend, Dwight. These aren't announcements."
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"Yes, they are. You just don't care about the information."
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"Wouldrt be such a bad thing for him to be fired."
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"Well... I mean, like we were talking about,"
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"We discussed the fact that I'm cooped up here"
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"That's it. That's it. You can't put a price on freedom."
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"(SCOFFS) Try me. That's why you've made the decision."
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"I haven't made a decision yet. You kind of have."
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"No. Yes, you have."
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"You cannot take the fall for him."
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"He can do the same for you right now by getting fired instead of you."
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"So what are you going to do?"
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"There he is."
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"Oh, my God. Dwight! Dwight, get in."
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"Dwight and I were just having a very unfortunate conversation."
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"The head of Blue Cross just called."
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"I just want to say that this golden-ticket idea"
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"is one of the most brilliant signs of initiative I've ever seen at this company."
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"And how about a big round of applause for Mr. Dwight Schrute?"
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"This is huge. That's what she said."
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"How'd you come up with that idea?"
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"Inspiration. Really?"
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"and, for that, I apologize."
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"Apology rejected."
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"Thanks so much for helping the company, Dwight."
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"Good work, kid."
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"DWIGHT: Thanks, old man."
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"DAVID: They should meet you. DWIGHT: Great idea. Yeah."
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"Sure. David. David."
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"Yeah? Could I be part of the meeting also?"
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"You probably have too much to do around here."
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"I don't want to take up your time with another meeting."
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"Hey, guys, I have with me Dwight Schrute. Dwight, take it away."
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"MAN: Wait, do you guys hear that?"
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"There's not a dog listening in, is there? I hear panting."
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"No. No dogs."
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"DWIGHT: So I love Willy Wonka."
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"The golden-ticket scene is so inspiring to me"
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"that that's where I came up with that idea."
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"It's called Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory."
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"But I do know this. He is a liar. He has taken my idea."
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"That is my idea. We are going to call you back, guys."
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"You called me, and you were really angry at me,"
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"and I got scared, so I had Dwight take the fall."
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"But now it turns out that it's a great idea,"
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"I'm filled with good ideas. Are you?"
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"Thousands of good ideas. You are?"
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"Yeah. Good ideas?"
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"It's a net, a circular net you put inside the toilet"
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"to catch all of your change and your wallet from falling into the toilet,"
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"Oh, please. A canoe built around your horse"
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"It's a hollowed out sponge... Give me a break."
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"...that is more absorbent and softer than toilet paper."
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"I have a lot of toilet ideas. That's 'cause they're easy."
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"They're not easy. Guys. Guys."
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"MICHAEL: Everybody... Womers urinal."
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"Everybody has to go to the bathroom! Enough. Please, enough."
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"Well, is this true, Dwight? I mean, is this true?"
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"Thank you."
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"I don't know what... What do you want me to do now, Michael?"
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"What am I supposed to do now?"
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"I do want the credit without any of the blame."
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"Okay. I am going back to New York."
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"Pam, do me a favor, don't send me those notes."
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"I am gone."
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"all that will be remembered is that I had a good idea."
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"And that is what I want you to write down in yours."
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"Oh, I am. In my own words."
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"I want to see that. No, Michael."
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"Give me the diary. No. No!"
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"LYNN: Hi. Lynn,"
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"I'm just going to say to you everything that I'm thinking."
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"Okay. I think you have the best smile."
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"I'd like to take you out to dinner and a movie."
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"Okay."
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"(LYNN GIGGLES)"
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"...boobs."
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"(SCOFFS)"
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"Ding dong."
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"Who is it?"
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"KGB. All right."
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"I just got out of the shower. I'll be one second."
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"When you are done, open the door."
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"Yeah, I'm late for work so I have to brush my teeth."
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"It's a whole routine."
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"We have other houses to visit."
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"JIM: If you want to come back, then that would be fine."
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"How's 4:45?"
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"I get home from work around 6:00."
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"Very well, we will come back at 5:15."
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"Great. I need something to wipe my hand."
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"DWIGHT: What are you doing? MICHAEL: What are you doing?"
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"I slipped five pieces of gold paper into random paper shipments."
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"This entitles the customer to 10% off of their total order."
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"And full of fantasy."
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"I've written these things"
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"because it is my responsibility as manager of this branch"
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"I mean, how great was that show?"
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"(EXCLAIMS) I think I should call her."
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"But I do like her just the way she is."
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"One of my clients found a golden ticket."
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"(WHOOPING)"
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"(MICHAEL SIGHS)"
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"Nope. It doesn't."
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"You didn't. It'll be fine."
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"My golden-ticket idea, okay."
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"Why would anyone think that this is my golden-ticket idea?"
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"(SIGHS) That..."
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"Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam."
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"Michael, what do you think shutting down a branch is?"
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"How are you doing?"
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"Was it Jim? No."
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