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Clips from The Office - Golden Ticket (S05E05)

"It's true."
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"Good morning, Michael."
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"No, no, no."
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"I am not Michael. I am Willy Wonka!"
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"Why, thank you very much."
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"(GASPS) What are those? What are those? Tell me, please."
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"Jellybeans. No, no, no."
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"They are not just ordinary jellybeans, little girl."
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"The Willy Wonka golden-ticket promotional idea"
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"It's probably the best idea anybody's ever had."
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"to profiligate great ideas."
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"I want to hear some great ideas from you that are just as good as mine."
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"We could lease them out on the weekends... Too many words."
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"Good ideas are simple, golden ticket."
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"Free paper. No, Jim."
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"Golden Girls. That's a golden-ticket idea. Right?"
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"Golden Grahams. Another. It's a..."
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"if I am the only one coming up with the great ideas, right?"
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"You're just conveying, "I like you just the way you are.""
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"(EXCLAIMS) JIM: What are you doing?"
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"Why don't you just go on a date with her?"
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"Try to spark up an ongoing joke and then, in a month or two,"
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"I mean, you don't have to wait a month to ask her out. Just ask her out."
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"You're asking him to give up all of his power."
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"Andy, Pam and Jim are all telling me"
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"I'm a textbook over-thinker."
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""I like your dress, but I'd like it more if you had prettier hair.""
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"That's psychotic."
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"Do guys actually do that?"
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"That's low, Tuna."
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"Hey, Tom. What's that?"
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"Oh, you found a golden ticket."
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"(MICHAEL WHOOPING)"
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"Yeah."
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"No, congratulations about that."
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"Yeah, I'll take that down right now. Tell me,"
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"with big lips? I'm on the phone."
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"Or an odd little boy with a cowboy obsession?"
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"It's actually Blue Cross from Pennsylvania. Really?"
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"How much of a hit is 10% of our Blue Cross account?"
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"10%? Yeah."
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"Hold on one sec, Tom. What's that?"
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"And does it say limit one per customer?"
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"How do you not spread out the tickets into different shipments?"
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"I thought I did,"
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"so no harm, no foul. Okay, well I'm going to go call corporate"
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"to make sure that they know I didn't lose half my sales."
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"It'll be good."
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"Hey, hey, hey. You idiot."
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"(SIGHS) Sir, I placed a bunch of golden tickets into five separate boxes"
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"Were the boxes near each other?"
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"I put three pallets on the truck to Blue Cross once a week."
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"They use a lot of paper."
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"Okay, I'm going to ask you something, and I want you to be honest."
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"There's a one in 13 chance that this could be anybody's golden-ticket idea."
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"(EXCLAIMS) Hi, David."
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"I'll have him call you the minute he gets back from the Lincoln Memorial."
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""An Obama fashion show." Whatever that is."
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"Or "Trapped in an oil painting." I'm going to save that one."
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"MICHAEL: Nobody panic. The good news is"
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"they can't fire all of us, right? They can."
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"Well, Oscar, you don't know what the hell you're talking about."
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"I am just a net that traps all of your crappy subconscious ideas"
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"Okay, well, I lost a ton of money today."
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"Thank you. Jim is with me."
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"Absolutely not. I'm mad at you."
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"That is why carnations exist. CREED: That's not why."
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"Okay, we need a gold-ticket idea to get us out of this mess. Yes?"
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"JIM: Good one."
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"That is not constructive."
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"He's having a colonoscopy."
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"Hello, David. I just got back from my procedure, so..."
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"DAVID: Michael, what the hell is going on here?"
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"Fine. What is going on? My colonoscopy"
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"and the distal part of my small bowel with a camera."
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"Why did you okay this golden-ticket idea?"
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"We're going to lose a fortune, Michael. How could you let this happen?"
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"and I just don't... I don't know."
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"How could you not know, Michael?"
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"I think we might have hired an outside marketing consultant."
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"You might have... Okay, what firm?"
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"Okay. I think it might have been an inside consultant."
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"Was it the sales department?"
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"Yes."
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"Okay. Was it Dwight?"
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"I just wanted to congratulate you on that great golden-ticket idea."
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"Whoa, wow, who told you that? You did."
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"No. Several times."
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"I don't think I ever did. Over and over again."
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"That was your idea, Dwight. You were dressed as Willy Wonka."
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"I'm not taking credit for that. So... Wasrt my idea."
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"Would love to, but I can't. Wait a second, wait a second."
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"Wait a second. I wrote it down in my diary."
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"March 4th, "Dwight came up with the best idea today about golden tickets.""
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"Hold on."
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""10% off for one year.""
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"To keep secrets from my computer."
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"I remember you told me that you loved the Willy Wonka movie"
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"when you were growing up. Impossible."
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"Yes, you did. I wasrt given candy as a child,"
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"so a movie that fetishized it that much would've made no sense to me."
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"What are you writing?"
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""Had conversation with Michael about taking credit for an idea that wasrt mine."
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""Discussed movies.""
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"With all my heart."
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"You guys are throwing a lot at me."
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"Well, all I'm saying is it's the first date, so just keep a respectful distance."
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"Right."
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"I don't think Jim means to say that you shouldn't touch her."
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"it can show your interest, and it's really romantic."
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"He wants to be more than just friends. Put your heart out there,"
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"And two hot people with a perfect relationship"
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"would not understand that."
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"Sometimes you will think something, and I will say what you're thinking."
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"Okay, what am I thinking right now?"
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"Nacho chips. No."
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"I was thinking about how the skin is the largest organ of the body."
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"Okay. Let me just cut to the chase, Dwight."
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"It doesn't matter if you get fired for taking credit for the gold-ticket idea."
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"It doesn't matter."
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