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Clips from Tour De Pharmacy (2017)

"would not be the only barrier to fall that year."
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"everyone think I cannot do what a man can do."
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
""How can you ride without the dick and the balls?"
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"How can you ride a bike with a..."
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"So, this is why I had to disguise myself as a man."
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"Honeycut: Adrian Baton, the great French mystery."
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"Being your first Tour, were you rattled by anything?"
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"The-- the shaving of legs."
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"so this is a first, uh... (scoffs)"
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"I am a man, you are a man. We don't shave our legs."
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"Right, but as a cyclist, it's essential, isn't it?"
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"But it is weird."
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"It was my first time talking in public as a man..."
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"Someone smells of lilac. Is it her?"
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"(sniffs) Oh, yes, uh,"
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"very lilac and very hot."
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"Ho, ho, ho, ho, what a hot chick."
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"...and I think I nailed it."
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"including the appearance of Marty Hass,"
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"the first-ever African cyclist."
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"Feeling strong, ready for the race? Woo!"
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"psyched, psyched, psyched to be there,"
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"you know, representing Nigeria"
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"and all my Nigerian brothers and chicks."
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"Marty's father owned a diamond mine"
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"near Nigeria's capital... (boy giggles)"
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"...where he went to an all-American private school."
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"He rarely associated with actual Nigerians."
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"At a young age, Marty established himself as the country's best cyclist,"
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"because everyone else was on bicycles made out of wood."
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"But on a serious note, Rex,"
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"it is truly an honor to be here to represent Africa,"
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"because-- I don't know if you know this, but Africa's"
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"actually going through some pretty weak stuff."
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"Right. For example, oftentimes, it'll get pretty warm there."
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"then he would go over to the jukebox"
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"and put on Bob Marley, "Legend,""
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"and be shouting, "African music!""
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"Jamaica is not in Africa."
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"Indeed I am. You know, I miss it."
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"Being here in France, I miss it back home,"
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"and... I bless the rains down in Africa."
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"Right, right, like the song."
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"Oh, I'm not familiar with that."
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"It's the lyrics to the Toto song, "Africa.""
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"Uh, I'm not familiar with that."
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"But at any rate, it's gonna take a lot..."
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"Both: To drag me away from you."
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"From you. That's what I was gonna say! Shall we do it in harmony?"
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"That's so bizarre. I was gonna say,"
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
""Drag me away from you, from this great interview.""
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"Real Africans didn't like that song, "Africa.""
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"That's why he was lying."
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"You ever seen the dudes in the band Toto?"
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"Those dudes shouldn't be singing about Africa."
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"who was bold enough to speak frankly"
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"(distorted voice)"
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"You look like you're going to be carrying"
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"a few extra pounds on the bike this year."
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"on the bicycle."
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"Looks almost like you could play a real sport."
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"(laughs)"
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"♪ ♪"
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"Ditters: Everyone was cheating."
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"extra hard to keep up with you out there."
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"That's right, you heard it."
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"This year, I'll be on the bike, riding alongside the riders,"
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"conducting my interviews during the race,"
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"that is if I don't pass out immediately."
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"What do you think about that, Gustav? Fucking hell, mate."
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"(distorted voice)"
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"(phone buzzing)"
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"Hamm: The 1982 Tour de France was the most eccentric bike race"
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"that virtually every rider in the race was doping,"
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"nearly all 170 of them."
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"The reason every rider was on drugs in the '82 race"
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"has to do with the fact that credit cards"
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"KultaBank issued the first Finnish charge card,"
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"and they announced it with a bizarre commercial."
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"(acoustic guitar music playing) (birds chirping)"
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"(sighs)"
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"(speaks Finnish, gasps)"
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"(groans)"
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"for a dozen reasons at least."
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"And what's he paying for? Spilling the milk?"
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"We saw him spill the milk, so why is she drinking milk in the very next scene?"
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"You'll notice the woman doesn't climax,"
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"which means the debt has not been fully repaid,"
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"and likely never will. (chuckles) Right, guys?"
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"Sorry, I just noticed the crew is mostly women."
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"Hamm: The disciplinary cunnilingus shown in the commercials"
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"certainly did not do its job explaining credit cards to the people of Finland."
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"and this included the former president"
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"of the UCI, Ditmer Klerken."
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"a cool horse, or something like this,"
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"and-- and I would hand them this magic piece of plastic"
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"and they would give me the cool thing."
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"After three months, Ditmer owed"
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"nearly $16 million U.S. to KultaBank."
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"Because he was in this huge debt,"
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"Ditmer sent every rider a note saying"
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"if they paid him $50,000,"
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"they wouldn't get drug-tested that year."
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"Ditmer: "Hey, if you don't want to be drug tested,"
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
""make a check out to Ditmer Klerken"
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
""and you won't be. Thanks you guys, Ditmer."
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
""PS, if you tell anyone about this,"
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"I'll fucking kill you!!""
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"(chuckles) Silly."
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"Wright: And here we go!"
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"Guys came out flying on bikes! Man, I wanted to be on a bike so bad."
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"(Armstrong speaks, distorted)"
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"(door opens)"
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"(man speaks)"
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"(man 2 speaks)"
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"(Armstrong speaks)"
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"Hamm: Day one, 207 kilometers from Basel to Mohlin,"
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"a serene landscape that was completely juxtaposed"
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"to the ugliness that was about to ensue."
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
"Wright: The riders still holding tight in the peloton."
Tour De Pharmacy (2017)
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