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Clips from The Office - Niagara Part 2 (S06E06)

"Six-six-five-zero."
The Office
"Well, Mr. Halpert, you're obviously not in San Juan, Puerto Rico."
The Office
"Shoot."
The Office
"Hey, you seem like a nice guy."
The Office
"That's very true. Okay, shut up."
The Office
"Yeah, I'll have the linguini, red sauce on the side."
The Office
"If the sauce does not come on the side, I will send it back."
The Office
"I want garlic bread, toasted, not burnt."
The Office
"Okay, then. And for you, sir?"
The Office
"The what?"
The Office
"The gabbagool."
The Office
"You know, gabbagool."
The Office
"What he's trying to say is, gabbagool."
The Office
"Guys, guys, all right."
The Office
"I don't really think that we have that."
The Office
"Okay."
The Office
"If the salad is on top, I send it back."
The Office
"I usually can think quick on my feet,"
The Office
"This constitutes identity fraud."
The Office
"Oh, God."
The Office
"I wouldn't last in jail, Oscar. I'm not like you."
The Office
"What's that supposed to mean?"
The Office
"What, you don't know about jail?"
The Office
"You would love jail."
The Office
"Look closely, Michael. I feel there's a plan here for you."
The Office
"Maybe we have a plan for you."
The Office
"Anybody can get hurt."
The Office
"You always think it can't happen to you, and..."
The Office
"(BANGS ON TABLE)"
The Office
"Excuse me. Sorry to bother you."
The Office
"Are you a mechanic?"
The Office
"My battery's dead. I've got my kid. Can you please help?"
The Office
"Yes, I can."
The Office
"I'm sorry, we're having our salads."
The Office
"Come on, lady in distress."
The Office
"Thank you so much. I really appreciate it."
The Office
"Hey, do you need any help?"
The Office
"I'm sure he can handle a simple jumpstart."
The Office
"Now, come on, sit down."
The Office
"Sit down."
The Office
"So, we're choosing... Okay. Yep."
The Office
"You've got a leaky spark tube."
The Office
"What?"
The Office
"So, your car's totaled."
The Office
"Or my guy could do it, he's great. But I can't do that for you."
The Office
"Now, if you could just sign this letter of intent,"
The Office
"I'll bring this back to my boss"
The Office
"(CLEARING THROAT)"
The Office
"and it kept telling me how much"
The Office
"And then, one day it exploded and it killed everyone,"
The Office
"and that's what I'm afraid of."
The Office
"It was before my technical training."
The Office
"Don't do it."
The Office
"Do it."
The Office
"Okay. Don't do it."
The Office
"but you have to decide for yourself."
The Office
"I mean, are these guys going to take care"
The Office
"of your things if you die tomorrow?"
The Office
"Yes."
The Office
"I don't understand. Why would you buy a policy?"
The Office
"I had to make a snap decision, Dwight."
The Office
"It wasn't a snap decision. You were sitting there for an hour."
The Office
"It was a lot of snap decisions."
The Office
"Do you know what "snap decision" means? MICHAEL: Yes."
The Office
"JIM: (ON PHONE) Hello? Jim?"
The Office
"How did you get this number? (SIGHING)"
The Office
"Michael, we're on a catamaran."
The Office
"I chose a massive coronary because"
The Office
"you told me that your dad had a bad heart."
The Office
"Listen, man, I got a problem."
The Office
"I think I'm in trouble with the mob or a major insurance carrier."
The Office
"That sounds bad. Yeah, I know."
The Office
"And you usually can get out of stuff like this,"
The Office
"so I'm turning to you, my friend."
The Office
"I'm going to help you through it, all right?"
The Office
"All you're going to need..."
The Office
"(VOICE BREAKING)"
The Office
"And then go to..."
The Office
"And you'll be saved."
The Office
"No! God, I missed the important part again."
The Office
"(VOICE BREAKING)"
The Office
"And you'll be saved. No, Jim."
The Office
"Please repeat what you're saying, I can't understand you."
The Office
"Bermuda Triangle... Please don't call again."
The Office
"Oh, my God."
The Office
"Is there anything accounting-wise I can do"
The Office
"Accounting-wise, no, but phone-wise, just call up and cancel it."
The Office
"No, no."
The Office
"Um..."
The Office
"Okay. All right, well, it was a thought. Thanks."
The Office
"We have let Michael down, and it's 85% your fault."
The Office
"Not on the inside, he's not."
The Office
"Not the living in fear, that's new."
The Office
"You're right, that is new."
The Office
"Well, I don't see that happening."
The Office
"Me neither."
The Office
"Not the way things are now."
The Office
"What is wrong with you?"
The Office
"I am talking about convincing Michael that the guy's not Mafia."
The Office
"What, more farfetched than a mobster walking into a paper company"
The Office
"for a low-level shakedown? And that happened."
The Office
"No, he's not. He's just good."
The Office
"Nothing sticks to him. You still don't understand how this works."
The Office
"No, Michael, what we're trying to say is,"
The Office
"we made a mistake assuming he was Mafia."
The Office
"I have a buddy who's a Fed and we did a background check on the guy,"
The Office
"his background is perfectly clean."
The Office
"It's true, he's clean."
The Office
"Turns out he's a totally lovely guy."
The Office
"But Grotti acts like he's Mafia, though."
The Office
"And bury them in my yard. And I wouldn't tell the cops a thing."
The Office
"Not that I would be lying, per se,"
The Office
"(ON PHONE) This is Grotti. This is Scott."
The Office
"Oh! Great, Michael. I'm just finishing up your paperwork right now."
The Office
"Oh, really? Is that supposed to scare me?"
The Office
"I thought you'd be pleased."
The Office
"Because I am not pleased. I'm actually kind of p.o.'d."
The Office
"Why? I think you know exactly why."
The Office
"Because you were trying to scare me into buying insurance."
The Office
"I think you knew exactly what you were doing,"
The Office
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