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Clips from The Office - Niagara Part 2 (S06E06)

""Mental" is a part of the word. I have underlined it."
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"You have to enjoy it."
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"(STUTTERING) "Fun" is in it."
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"But you can't just go right to the selling. You need small talk."
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"What topics can you use for small talk?"
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"Golf, stock market, Dave Matthews."
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"Small things. Peas, ball bearings, dimes."
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"No."
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"The weekend. Yeah! That's good."
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"So, Meredith and I have just started conversing,"
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"Well, I caught my son taking a dump on the upper part of the toilet."
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"All right. He calls it an "upper-decker.""
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"What you people don't know about business, I could fill a book with."
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"Then do it. What?"
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"Write a book."
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"Over one billion sold."
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"More than the Bible. I'm not surprised. Chapter One."
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"(SOFTLY) Erin, you're supposed to be the gatekeeper."
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"Do you have any idea how valuable my time is?"
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"In your schedule, it just says 9:00 till noon is creative space."
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"You don't have anything in the afternoon. It just says "free play.""
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"Come in the conference room and I will show you a finished sausage."
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"As a manager of business, you've got a lot of pride."
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"But you also got a lot of responsibility."
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"Yep."
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"None greater, perhaps, than the need to be sure"
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"that your small or large business is secure in the event of a covered loss."
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"There's nothing more insulting to a great salesman"
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"than having to listen to a bad salesman."
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"It's like a great basketball player"
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"'Cause this place is awesome. It feels like home now."
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"Even better than my home. My home sucks."
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"What do you think?"
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"Definitely looks suspicious."
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"God forbid you should have a fire in the warehouse."
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"Oh! Yep. Yeah. Definitely. All that paper burning up."
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"Yeah, and the truck goes off the side of the road, there's injury."
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"Mmm-hmm, I hear you. The truck."
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"Okay, well..."
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"I can be very, very persistent."
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"Do your worst."
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"(CHUCKLES)"
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"MICHAEL: All right."
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"Would you look at that, people?"
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"other than once again, I am just thankful that I am a paper salesman."
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"Did he threaten you?"
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"No, Dwight. Not everything is a threat."
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"Wait, when did we start talking about the mob?"
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"The guy was trying to sell me insurance."
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"sometimes it's waste management or sanitation."
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"For the record, not all Italian-Americans are in the Mafia."
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"I think he just seemed like he was trying to sell me insurance."
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"He did talk about a fire in the warehouse."
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"And he also vaguely threatened me with testicular cancer."
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"(OSCAR GROANS)"
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"Pam and Jim are on their honeymoon,"
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"so there's not the usual balance between sane and others."
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"It's a very dangerous time. The coalition for reason is extremely weak."
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"Oscar says I checked out, huh?"
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"This is bad. All right. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey."
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"Calm down, calm down, calm down."
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"What's the guy's last name?"
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"Um, it is Grotti."
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"What? What?"
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"What are you talking about?"
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"JIM: (ON PHONE) Hello? Jim, it's Oscar."
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"I'm so sorry to be calling you on your honeymoon."
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"It's Michael. He thinks he's being shaken down by the mob."
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"(CHUCKLES) We're in Puerto Rico, so..."
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"Hey, Oscar. It's Pam, hey. Hey."
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"Unless someone very close to us"
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"is in immediate physical danger,"
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"You're right, you're right."
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"(DIAL TONE SOUNDING) All right. Okay, bye."
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"ANDY: Already?"
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"Okay. "I feel that you will regret"
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""missing this great opportunity to be in business.""
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"What are my options here? Do I just ignore it or..."
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"he's going to burn the warehouse down"
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"or run one of our trucks off the road."
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"Okay, I'm calling the police."
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"until a crime has been reported."
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"All right. Not only that,"
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"you get a dead horse's chopped off head in your bed."
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"You know what? (SHUSHING) That's not going to happen."
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"That's an exaggeration. ANDY: That's how it works."
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"MICHAEL: What am I supposed to do here?"
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"When somebody threatens you, you give in right away."
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"No. Criminals are like raccoons, okay?"
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"You give them a taste of cat food,"
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"pretty soon they'll be back for the whole cat."
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"Wait. Let's hear him out. This is interesting."
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"Someplace where he can't be openly violent."
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"that you are not the typical kind of guy that he can shake down,"
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"We do it the hard way."
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"All right, I will meet with him, but I'm not going alone."
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"(CHUCKLING) Well, you're going to have to. We'll be right beside you."
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"What?"
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"What are you wearing? Who's Pat?"
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"And I have to justify it somehow,"
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"so I'm a mechanic with a tire thing."
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"Let's go, come on."
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"God. God."
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"Should I change? You're wearing loafers."
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"(PEOPLE CHATTERING)"
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"Hey. The bathroom checks out clean."
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"Guys, guys. Cool it."
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"Hello. Mr. Scott, hello."
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"Hi, Angelo Grotti."
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"So... You got this table?"
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"can't-decide-what-it-is type of thing?"
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"Well..."
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"Waitress, we're going to sit over here."
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"That's fine."
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"Okay."
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"Hello?"
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"WOMAN: (ON PHONE) Hello, Mr. Halpert."
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"We've detected some unusual activity on your credit card."
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"First, would you mind verifying your home address?"
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"And may I have the last four digits of your social security?"
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