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Clips from The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel - The Disappointment of the Dionne Quintuplets (S01E01)

"- What? - The building, the hallway,"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Midge. - And isn't that the couch I wanted to buy,"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"but you said was too deep?"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"I don't remember what couch you... - You know, it's funny,"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"in some downtown, smoke-filled atelier,"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"not two blocks away, living the Methodist version of our life."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Does she have an "on" switch?"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"No, he was throwing up earlier. I figure I should stay around"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"a minute, make sure he's not gonna blow again."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"- What? - You know what's funny?"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"I don't have my apartment anymore."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"You have my apartment."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"- Dinner? - Yes."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"The Methodist version of brisket."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Is there a mayonnaise and Wonder Bread cafe"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"I was gonna come pick him up."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"I was gonna come to you so that you wouldn't have to come here."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"You are a prince, a real prince."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"I hope Penny knows what a prince you are."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"I don't understand you, Midge."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"- Remember? - Oh, boy."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"I came to you and I said let's try again."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"- You said no. - Oh, no, uh-uh."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"I'm the good guy, you're the bad guy."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Fine. - When are you coming to get your things?"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"- I don't know. - You have things at my house"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"- and I want them gone. - You said you'd pack them up."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"I'm not packing up your things. Penny can pack up your things."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Or you can buy new things, for your new life."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"- I'll come get them. - Not when I'm home."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Fine, I'll come get my things when you're not home."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"And I want my notebook."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"It was about me."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Everything's about you."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"I want it."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Why? You quit, remember?"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"You don't know. It's mine, I want it."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"as long as you have Bob Newhart's album,"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Low blow, Midge."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"But this is our life."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Y-You didn't go somewhere exotic or different,"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"- Why? Tell me why. - It doesn't even..."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Because..."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"You tell me I'm not right."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Well, you're right."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Just not about the club part."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Don't baptize him while I'm gone."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"* And not my cup of tea *"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Now, this shithole is kind of an off-the-grid place."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Established comics do not come here"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"You will never see Jack Paar represented here"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"My father will be very relieved."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"What are you doing?"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Taking notes. Research."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"or could be pertinent or interesting."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"So the answer's yes."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"What's this place called?"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"- "This shithole." - You're kidding."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Well, not officially, but by anyone who's been here."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"you might never see anywhere else."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Hey, who's this guy?"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"He's from Montana."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Huh. And what's his blood type?"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"I don't know."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Well, you told me one useless piece of shit detail,"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"I thought you could throw in another."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"What are you doing?"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"I had a funny thought."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"All the best comics do."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"...has committed suicide."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"I just found him backstage, and..."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"he didn't even leave a note."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"And so I will now do our two-man show act"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
""You mean who am I doing tonight?""
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"He had such great delivery."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"And then I'd say, "Randy,"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"watch what you're saying, there's ladies in the audience.""
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"And he'd say..."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"And he'd say..."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Why is this so funny?"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Hey, you don't think this is funny?"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"they tell you to count sheep?"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"I mean, sheep are quite adorable, aren't they?"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"And now, instead of getting sleep,"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Upstairs at the Downstairs."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Everybody comes here."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"I'll tell you, I like having things to do,"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Same words, different order, makes all the difference."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Having things to do, that's an option."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Having to do things, that's a demand."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Go for a walk, catch a ball game, meet a friend for coffee."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Having to do things, never pleasant."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Take out the trash, change a lightbulb,"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"See, this guy here, he's not really my thing,"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"that we need to learn in school."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Oh, I don't remember what that war was about."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"I think it was because it was 1812."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"They had no radio, no TV."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"There was nothing to do except go to war."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
""So, um, why are we at war?""
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"You see how he waits after the laugh."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Two laughs for the price of one."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"All right."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Is that good?"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"He handles a lot of the Eastern seaboard clubs."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"- I want you to meet him. - Okay."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"And remember."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"I know, tits up."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Susie Myerson."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"- Uh, my card. - Okay."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Personal management, huh?"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"- I manage her. - Singer?"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"- Comedienne. - Really. She funny?"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Well, she's a looker. I'd love to see her work."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Three more cards."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Okay. Talk soon."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Yes. Talk soon."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"We better get something off that four-card fucker."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"Question, should I have talked?"
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
"- You did, didn't you? - No."
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
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