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Clips from Family Guy - Mother Tucker (S05E05)

"Oh, sexy girlfriend."
Family Guy
"Peter, would you stop spying on your mother's date?"
Family Guy
"I can't stand it anymore, Lois. I'm gonna put a stop to this."
Family Guy
"- Hello? Hello, yes."
Family Guy
"This is Tom Tucker's personal physician, Dr. Tand the Women."
Family Guy
"Could you tell Tom his contagious penis cancer medicine is ready?"
Family Guy
"- Is this Peter? - No, it's Lois."
Family Guy
"Lois, don't crank call my mother. I'm gonna have to pinch you for that."
Family Guy
"- Stop that. - Knock it off, damn it!"
Family Guy
"- Tickle, tickle, tickle. - Cut it out. Stop it."
Family Guy
"I tickle you, you hit me in the head with a frying pan?"
Family Guy
"- I told you to stop. - I taste blood."
Family Guy
"Well, there's a lot of it."
Family Guy
"Peter, I know this is all a big adjustment for you,"
Family Guy
"but all I want is for your mom to be happy."
Family Guy
"Well, why can't she go back with my dad?"
Family Guy
"Well, I can't answer that, but I'm gonna do my best to make her even happier"
Family Guy
"than those kids on Three Wishes with Amy Grant."
Family Guy
"- What's your wish, Billy? - Can you cure my cancer?"
Family Guy
"Here. Get well."
Family Guy
"You know, I heard a rumor about you today."
Family Guy
"- You did? - Yup. I heard you like milkshakes."
Family Guy
"- Oh, boy, do I! - Let's go get ourselves a shake, huh?"
Family Guy
"Yeah."
Family Guy
"- I want to get a milkshake, too. - Too bad. Go get your own father."
Family Guy
"Hey, Carl, can I get a carton of smokes, please?"
Family Guy
"Sure, Brian."
Family Guy
"And what's that little rubber mailman you got behind there?"
Family Guy
"- Oh, you like that, huh? - Yeah, does that thing squeak?"
Family Guy
"Yeah, it does."
Family Guy
"All right, I'll take that, and I'm gonna hurry home and show it to Lois."
Family Guy
"Hey, I'd recognize that voice anywhere."
Family Guy
"You're Dingo, that dog that plays all those fart sounds on the radio."
Family Guy
"Awesome!"
Family Guy
"Oh, yeah, yeah, sorry about that, the show's gotten a little lowbrow."
Family Guy
"What are you talking about? It's, like, the most hilarious show ever."
Family Guy
"- Hey, could I get your autograph? - My... Really?"
Family Guy
"Wow, you're..."
Family Guy
"Gosh, you're making me feel more important than a dwarf among midgets."
Family Guy
"- Hey, can you reach the Crispix? - Yes, I can."
Family Guy
"How awesome is this? Going out to dinner with my new family."
Family Guy
"- I want... I want that one. - All right, hold on, we'll get you that one."
Family Guy
"- I want straws. - We'll get you a straw."
Family Guy
"- You want a kid's meal? - No."
Family Guy
"- Do you mean "yes"? - Yes."
Family Guy
"Okay, one kid's meal. And what'll you have, honey?"
Family Guy
"I'll have a fish sandwich and a Sanka."
Family Guy
"Oh, he's adorable."
Family Guy
"Say hi to the nice lady, Peter. Oh, he's shy."
Family Guy
"We now return to the Sunday afternoon movie,"
Family Guy
"Masturbator and Commander."
Family Guy
"I'll be right out. - Sir, we've already lost 10 men."
Family Guy
"- Hang on. - Sir, don't you think we should return fire?"
Family Guy
"Yeah, yeah, go ahead and do that,"
Family Guy
"and I'll meet you up there in, like, five minutes."
Family Guy
"Peter, I've never seen you so happy."
Family Guy
"Well, Lois, I never realized what it was like to have a real dad."
Family Guy
"I mean, my own dad was such a ballbuster,"
Family Guy
"I guess I just always thought that was normal."
Family Guy
"But Papa Tom is so different."
Family Guy
"For the first time in my life, I feel like I have a real family, you know?"
Family Guy
"I mean, I'm not just going through the motions like I do around here."
Family Guy
"Hey, champ, you want to watch Chicken Little?"
Family Guy
"- Yeah. - And what does a chicken say?"
Family Guy
""Moo. ""
Family Guy
"Why not?"
Family Guy
"Come on, Ma."
Family Guy
"Hey, what gives with the suitcase?"
Family Guy
"Tom, there's no easy way to say this. I'll just come right out with it."
Family Guy
"Tommy, this has been great,"
Family Guy
"but I wasn't looking for anything long-term."
Family Guy
"I just needed someone to clear all the bats out of my plumbing."
Family Guy
"- What do we do now, Bill? - We write, Tim."
Family Guy
"We write our story."
Family Guy
"Goodbye, dear."
Family Guy
"It's all my fault!"
Family Guy
"I know it hurts right now, Peter, but we'll get through this."
Family Guy
"- You're still my little buddy, right? - Yeah."
Family Guy
"- Then we'll be okay. Goodnight, buddy. - Goodnight Papa Tom."
Family Guy
"- Goodnight, son. Goodnight, Lois. - Goodnight."
Family Guy
"Peter, this is a little strange."
Family Guy
"No stranger than when Darth Vader was a meter maid."
Family Guy
"Come on, man. Cut me a break. I was only in there for, like, five minutes."
Family Guy
"You know, I make your annual salary in a week."
Family Guy
"You do whatever you think is right, and I'll support it."
Family Guy
"I don't really understand it. What do you want this loan for?"
Family Guy
"I don't know that that would be a good investment on our end."
Family Guy
"I mean, I want to open a sports bar."
Family Guy
"Good morning, Quahog."
Family Guy
"You're here with Dingo..."
Family Guy
"And the Baby..."
Family Guy
"And if you're thinking about changing the station..."
Family Guy
"Don't you do it!"
Family Guy
"Today we got homeless Hank from the dumpster out back with us."
Family Guy
"Hey, I got an idea."
Family Guy
"How about the first three women willing to come down"
Family Guy
"- Are you reading my mind, man? - Let's go to the phones."
Family Guy
"Go ahead, caller, you're on with Dingo and the Baby."
Family Guy
"Is this Dingo? - Yes, honey, what's your name?"
Family Guy
"Sindy, with an "S.""
Family Guy
"Tell me something, Sindy,"
Family Guy
"how'd you like to come down here and get naked for us?"
Family Guy
"Sure."
Family Guy
"Oh, yeah, there's a show."
Family Guy
"After all, AIDS is a deadly, incurable disease."
Family Guy
"But no matter how you come to judge Charles Wheeler and his partners"
Family Guy
"in ethical, moral, and in human terms,"
Family Guy
"the fact of the matter is,"
Family Guy
"when they fired Andrew Beckett because he had AIDS,"
Family Guy
"My God, what is wrong with you?"
Family Guy
"- I want some ice cream. - No, Peter, you finish your food."
Family Guy
"You, hey... You get back here right now, mister."
Family Guy
"Don't you... Get down from that chair or you're in big trouble."
Family Guy
"You put that ice cream back right now."
Family Guy
"If you put that ice cream in your mouth, you're gonna be in big trouble, young man."
Family Guy
"All right, so you know the drill."
Family Guy
"We're gonna turn on the hot dog cannon,"
Family Guy
"and for every hot dog that you catch in your mouth,"
Family Guy
"you get $100 toward a boob job that you desperately need."
Family Guy
"- I know. - Okay, here we go."
Family Guy
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